Let's review. Six seasons of Top Chef, one season of Top Chef Masters. As a loyal fan, my cohort and I started blogging at the offseason after the end of Season 1.
We had a thing for Harold Dieterle (still do). We poked fun at judges....
Contestants certainly weren't immune to our photochoppy fingers.
We have a bizarre obsession with Pirates and Monkeys.
We suffered through the Curse of Season Two and the Plague of Gates (Lycee, Toothbrush, Clipper).
We even have a lingering mystery.
Who did this for their audition tape? (Shamu's money is on Hung)
We come back season after season. Why? Because we're Top Chef Crack Monkeys. We bitch, we complain, we moan but we always watch. So I think it's pretty safe to say we're loyal fans. So if you think we're even because you gave us the opportunity to spend 99¢ to text in our vote to choose between snake, cactus or kangaroo, you are in serious need of rehab. You know what that covers? One episode of watching any asshat who cared more about what was on his head than what was on the plate. Or maybe 5 instances of Tom saying something isn't seasoned properly. It sure as hell doesn't come close to even for making us watch this doofus.So when you're serious about rewarding loyal fans we'll be right here. Wearing our "It's Not Crap on a Plate" t-shirt and fiddling with our conch dicker. Waiting. For our Reward. Or Godot. (Not that it matters because we suspect the results will the same.)