Monday, September 7, 2009

The Last Mallomar

I ate the last Mallomar today. There was no special event, no occasion that prompted the eating. It was a bit of chocolate available in my post operative, driving ban stash. A stepping stone to get me through to Friday. The last Mallomar.
Not the last Mallomar forever, no, Nabisco would never consider dumping this lovely concoction from it's stable of sweet nibblings. For some reason Kraft, the parent company of Nabisco, won't release the sales figures for the yearly sales of Mallomars but I would imagine they are fairly healthy. Blame the Mallomar Mystique. You see Mallomars are only available for roughly 5 months out of the year. Right now, New Yorkers are beginning to salivate like Pavlov's hungry dogs as October draws nearer. October marks the beginning of Mallomar season. End cap pyramids of the bright yellow boxes of this hypnotic cookie start to appear in Northeastern grocery stores. Hoarding immediately follows. IF (and I mean if) one is strong, at least a box or two will be locked into the freezer to be enjoyed later, in the cruel hot summer months when no Mallomars are produced. We can thank our brothers and sisters to the North for this iconic American cookie for the Mallomar is only produced in Canada. Only in Canada Mallomars are not called Mallomars, they are called Dream Puffs. There is also something called a Whippet but it's only made in Quebec. Don't ask, apparently it's a Canadian thing. If the Canucks only knew what power they wielded with a virtual stranglehold on our Mallomar obsession.

I don't know when I ate my first Mallomar but I'm sure a box was always on my shelves when I worked in the lean years as a theatre techie in Stamford Connecticut. Now I rely on finding a box or three when I travel east for the holidays. It's a simple cookie really, round graham cracker cookie as the base, a dollop of marshmallow and an envelope of pure dark chocolate. It's sexy and erotic, all smooth curves and exotic darkness. (The very fact that cookies are now erotic signals drastic need for change in my personal life) Other cookies try and duplicate the Mallomar Mystique but it's just not the same. So while everyone else is celebrating the end of summer and the beginning of crisp fall weather, colorful foliage and hearty fall foods, I will be waiting to get my Mallomar freak on. God Bless the Canadians.

8 comments:

moi said...

I had NO idea. Thank you. I think. Because, I just asked my ass if we have room for one more pre-packaged baked good to obsess about and all it could do was nod.

Big Shamu said...

I think my ass talked to your ass and told it there was much room for expansion. Your ass readily agreed.
If anyone else needs ass advice, you now know where to come for the latest in prompt ass advice.

MakingSpace said...

Also. Obsessing over the qualities of the Mallomar doesn't top by a long shot the weird jealousy one feels when looking at one's children's barbie dolls all strewn about together in the dark. Not that anyone here would know about THAT.

Jenny said...

my ass is wondering why I wasted all of those years on Oreos when these little beauties were available. I had no idea they had a "season". I have a little problem with all things marshmallow and chocolate and recently went on a See's candy binge of a similar item.

Now I'm off to the store to see what the story is here in the PNW.

Susan said...

Note to Miss D - Add Dream Puff's to Shamy's parcel - and no we don't call them Mallomar's up here in the great (not white yet) North but they do come in a variety of flavours as well as just plain good - (caramel, orange, strawberry, etc. a little extra somethin' something' between the cookie and the mallow).

Are you saying' that they are unavailable to you for 5 months of the year ? Pour quoi ?? Say it ain't so ??? Miss D & I can fix that. I know what you're thinking ... Sure, sure a likely story and where's that frickin' popcorn seasoning ?

Gathering & preparing ... still. Honest. And now add Dream Puff's to our ever growing list. Quel flavour ?

Big Shamu said...

Not only are they unavailable 7 months out of the year, they are only available to certain geographic locations for those precious 5 months. The official explanation is that producing and shipping them during the summer would required refrigerated trucks because they would melt in transport. Nor do they want to change the production recipe to avoid melting.
I think the Teak Top Desk work comes before package delivery. I have an over abundance of popcorn so it's not like I'm going to run out. Not to worry. Your Old Bay should be to you any moment now.

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