Battle of the Brands

Would you make this for your family?

Would you serve this to a guest to your home?

If you've been stuck in a media blackout bunker, trying to hide from the insanity that is the Republican primaries then you might have missed the ongoing bloody Battle of the Culinary Brands.

This current battle really started last August when Tony Bourdain gave an interview to TV Guide. In that interview he slammed Food Network's shiniest stars, Rachel Ray, Sandra Lee, Guy Fieri and Paula Deen. Of Deen he said "the worst, most dangerous person in America … plus, her food sucks”. This is nothing new for Father Tony, he's been bitch slapping Food Network stars for years now but Paula decided to answer back with the tired, old, I'm one with the real people trope. "You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine,” she said. “My friends and I cook for regular families who worry about feeding their kids and paying the bills.” (...and yet I don't see Tony pimping a 3 piece furniture set for $3,600 or a cheapest single ticket to her seven day cruise for $1,500). Frank Bruni, the food critic for the NY Times shoved his way into the conversation, siding with Deen and calling Bourdain elitist which is pretty freaking funny considering the paper he works for and the town he works in. Things settled down for a bit until....

Flash forward to January 17th and Paula Deen is confirming on NBC's Today show that, yes, she has Type 2 Diabetes, yes, she's now the spokesperson for Novo Nordisk and their injectable diabetes drug, Victoza and yes, she's known and has been treating her diabetes for three years. Victoza, which costs something like $500 a month, is not exactly cheap for the common folk Ms. Deen so loudly claims to champion. Mr. Bourdain, looking a bit like a modern day prophet, lobbed this Twitter pie directly at Team Deen's face, "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later." Bruni, suddenly smelling which way the butter burns, also checked in with NY's opinion on this national story, saying "She had waited three long, greasy years since her diagnosis to come out. During that period, she promoted the deep-fried life without acknowledging her firsthand experience of how a person can be burned by it". Thanks Frank.

Since then it's been a constant tsunami of quotes and public relations web spinning. Paula's longtime publicist left Paula in December over the current direction of Team Deen, thinking she still had a job with her sons. She was quickly released from their employment. Food Network, also sensing bad juju, released their statement that they had no idea whatsoever that Ms. Deen had diabetes. Paula weakly defended herself, blathering something about not being educated enough to reveal her condition. Apparently she also felt a bit hurt that none of her brother and sister celebrity chefs are running to her defense but can you blame them? Actually I'm guessing that the only person happier about this Deen/Diabetes brouhaha is Ina Garten who can now officially come off the Internet Outrage pedestal after having refused a child's Make a Wish request and had her brand ripped up one side and down another.

The most amusing aspect of this whole charade is that those who strongly support Paula Deen's culinary empire (Smithfield Ham, Philadelphia Cream Cheese/Kraft Food, Nebraska Furniture Mart, magazines, restaurant, cookbooks, dvds, cookware and television shows) now claim that her food, her culinary output is only meant to entertain the masses. That she's always preached moderation. That's she's not responsible for what food you choose to put in your mouth. To this we must call Shenanigans! If Paula Deen is only on TV for entertainment purposes I'm guessing companies like Smithfield and Kraft are going to want their advertising and sponsorship dollars back. They are certainly not advertising on her show or on the Food Network as some sort of charitable donation. Hell no, they want Paula's viewers and fans to buy and keep buying their many processed food products. They don't care if Americans get diabetes, they have product to push and now with Victoza, you can keep eating their products and her food and all will be well.

The one thing I agree with out of all this is that no one forces you to eat or cook like a tv chef, food blogger, or newspaper critic. You have to be responsible for your own health and decisions. But there's a reason why the tv show Jackass has huge blazing warnings not to try their stunts on your own....because idiots do. There are thousands and thousands of Paula Deen fans that cook and eat her food with regularity. They find justification in the buzz words used to describe her food: comfort, rib sticking, southern, traditional, country and uncomplicated. Pointing out the unhealthy aspects of her dishes is translated into attacking the emotional resonance that food represents to her devoted fans. C'mon y'all, you'll feel better if you make yourself a big ole pile of my Mac and Cheese and some wonderful fried chicken, just like grandma used to make. That's a pretty powerful pitch. Let's all just remember that above everything thing else it is a pitch. Paula's not your girlfriend and she's not going to invite you into her house to cook you food, Tony's not your buddy, Frank Bruni doesn't really care about your opinions. They all represent Brands that must be fed and cared for. They all have an agenda to push and empires to maintain and salaries to pay. The team you should be most concerned with is YOU and your family. Use the common sense that the good lord gave you and use fresh food in dishes you make yourself, recipes full of vegetables, fruit and whole grains. You can only help yourself build a strong foundation to a healthy lifestyle and in the process make your own wonderful food memories.

How Far Will It Go?

I have never tasted Atlantic bluefin tuna sushi or sashimi. Actually I don't think I've eaten that species of tuna in any form. I will probably never get the chance to. Not that it's not available, sadly it is. But this fish, a species that has fed the world for thousands of years is in danger of collapsing to unrecoverable levels due to overfishing. Now in years past, Americans would learn about such things by reading the National Geographic magazine. They would have spectacular action color photography of tuna underwater. They might have Jacques Cousteau explain the various migration and mating patterns of this apex predator. I'm sure there would even be a map and graph showing all the different species and habitats of the tunas of the world. Later, when television took off, National Geographic wildlife specials were fascinating and a bit scary. All the drama you could want was right there as you followed what ever creature or life form they were exploring. Little did we know those were the golden years of Nat Geo.

Nat Geo recently announced that they are to air "Wicked Tuna", an unscripted reality show featuring tuna fishermen of Gloucester, Massachusetts has they hunt the Atlantic Bluefin tuna. Now this is sad in just so many ways. First I learned that News Corp and Rupert Murdoch owns 67% of the National Geographic Channel which begins to explain Wicked Tuna. You see, the "fishing reality/competition" reality programs have been done to death. Deadliest Catch has been running on the Discovery Channel since 2005. Then we had Lobstermen but that lasted only one season. Determined to keep cashing in on Deadliest Catch's format for success, sword fishermen (and woman) were next to pop up on the Discovery Channel. But neither the Atlantic Bluefin tuna's precarious fishery levels nor the tired nature of watching men fish will keep Nat/News Corp from promoting and airing Wicked Tuna.

What can you do to help stop promoting the destruction of the Atlantic Bluefin Tuna? Well for one thing kill your cable television. I'm not joking. In April of last year I ditched pay tv and haven't looked back. No money will go to Murdoch, no eyes will see whatever advertisers pay for commercial time on Wicked Tuna. I was mad as hell and I didn't want to take it anymore. Isn't it about time for you to stop taking it too?

Putting Up, Not Shutting Up - Okra Pie

OK, I think I did it. Made an edible okra pie. Will it replace the classic apple pie, the sweet and gooey blueberry or the unending variety of cream pies? No. But if you want to try something completely different and you're an adventurous soul, here's what you do.

First, let's remember that it's the middle of January in the midwest so my access to fresh okra was difficult at first. However plenty of frozen to go around. Actually two kinds of frozen for our purposes. Precut and whole. When I first started out on this project, I thought the precut okra would work great. That was a big no go. Too much chewy okra texture and general bad mouth feel. So I switched to the whole okra and cut it to the size I thought would work best. Since I'm working a nine inch pie, I decided to use two one pound bags of whole okra. Two thirds of this I sliced really thin (while still mostly frozen, cuts better) and the remaining third I cut about a half inch thick.

Why do this? Well the thin slices break down a little bit and make better pie filling and the larger pieces still give the filling the okra texture. So once you've cut up your okra we need to make it just a little less okrery. Put the thin sliced okra in a pan and add enough water to cover. Bring it to a boil. Once it has reached boiling, lower the heat to a simmer. Add the juice of one lemon and let simmer for a couple minutes. Now add 3/4 cup brown sugar and stir to mix. Taste the mixture. You may like it sweeter or more tart according to your taste. Now stir in the remaining thicker slices of okra. Remove from heat and set aside.

Toast 2 cups of pecans halves for 10 minutes in a 350 degree oven. Once toasted and cool enough to handle, roughly chop the nuts and add them to the okra mixture. Add the zest of one lemon and 2 tablespoons of cornstarch and mix well. Pour the mixture into the pie crust.

As I said in my original Facebook posting, I mentioned a cornmeal crust. None of my numerous pie cookbooks had a recipe I really liked so I resorted to Epicurious, my favorite go to site for fairly decent online recipes. They had just the pie crust I was looking for. They used it for a Apple Cranberry Pie and the only change I made was to leave out the pumpkin pie spice and use an entire top crust, not the leaf cutouts they prepared. Next time I might cut back on the salt. I will be making this crust again, it's almost like a cornmeal shortbread crust but very rustic. It would make a great crust for savory pie. I brushed the top of the pie with some buttermilk and sprinkled a little bit of very fine granulated sugar (caster sugar) on the top. Popped it into a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes with aluminum foil strips protecting the edges of the pie. Then another 15 minutes or so without the foil so the top crust can get nicely browned but not burned.

It's not a very pretty pie but I really kinda like the flavors none the less. Boiling away some of that strong okra flavor and then matching with what's left with the hard to beat combo of brown sugar and lemon is fun. What we haven't talked about is the slime, or the snot of the vegetable world as it's generally known. Virginia and I actually corresponded a little bit about developing this recipe and her suggestions on eliminating okra's slickness were valid but I wanted to bend it to my will, not make it disappear all together. By boiling the okra first, adding acidity (the lemon), and then binding the results (the cornstarch) I got a filling that holds together without being gummy or slimy. Earlier experiments involved many more spices to pair with the okra, namely a mild sweet curry however if there's one thing I've learned from watching many people cook food and developing my own cooking style, simple is better. The curry was one step too far. I'm much happier with the what finally developed.

So why do this? Why make a pie out of vegetable that a majority of people hate with a passion? Well there's the whole challenge of it. Think of it as a puzzle game, what fits best with what. Also knowing that you have the flexibility to create something from very little available. When I was doing the research for this project I read a very interesting passage from the Little House Cookbook. Barbara Walker wrote a wonderful book on the foods and cooking methods she believes were used during the frontier time period that was the setting of the Little House on the Prairie series. In the book, The Long Winter, Laura's mother makes a pie out of the only thing she currently had available , green pumpkin. Her ingenuity and cleverness provided a much welcomed treat when normal pie fillings were nowhere in sight. I like knowing that I can do that. The culinary sky's the limit if you can make a good tasting okra pie. You just never know where it will lead.

Putting Up - Okra Pie

Start with some research.

First try, fail.

Second try, edible but issues.

BUSTED!

Busted.
I am so totally busted.

It was a simple question.

"Working on a project for summer and this 35° New England weather has me stymied. What's your favorite okra dish?"

Virginia Willis asked this on her Facebook page. It's a good question. I happen to love okra but there's not a whole lot of American recipes outside of deep fried and gumbo. And this is where my smart mouth (or keyboard in this case) got me into trouble. I typed in a response, thinking the saucy Ms. Willis would be too busy to notice my suggestion. But noooo, girlfriend jumped all over it. "Linda - can you pls shoot me the recipe for okra pie w cm crust? That sounds goooooood!"

That's right. Okra pie with cornmeal crust. I've never heard of it, never tasted it, let ALONE made one. Why did I say it? Say it outloud. Okra pie. It makes me laugh. (This alone should tell you why I'm not a stand up comedian). But now the lovely Southern chef and author of two fabulous books would like my recipe for Okra Pie with Cornmeal Crust. Do I put up or shut up? I'm thinking Put Up.

Do you doubt me? Think I lack passion or vision? Oh no, think back. Am I not the woman who gave you Peep Sushi?

Am I not the woman who gave you Crab Pot Pie?

Am I not the woman who put Tom Colicchio's head on the body of a rooster?

(Why....because I could!)

I think I can handle Okra Pie. That's my challenge for the weekend. Make an edible okra pie. What do you think, savory? Sweet? Spices or flavorings? Can the slime be conquered? Watch for either yummy results or a total flaming failure that not even the dog will eat.

Guess What I Got for the Holidays?

The Pumpkin Butchering

There's an old saying about curiosity killing the cat. I don't know about cats but curiosity has always served me well. Waiting for a Caesar salad to-go, I pondered out loud about the squash anchoring the festive fall decorations sitting on the bar at Lidia's Kansas City. You see it was rather large for an indoor pumpkin. So I asked the hostess what they were going to do with it once Fall was over. "Well, the chefs will take it back to the kitchen and make pumpkin raviolis out of it." How great was that? So great that I asked if I could watch and by "watch" I meant be the photographic fly on the kitchen wall while they broke down the massive 80 pound pumpkin. After a flurry of emails with busy Chef de Cuisine Cody Hogan and Executive Chef Dan Swinney, I found myself squeezed into some tight kitchen spaces to witness The Pumpkin Butchering.

Now it would be much easier and probably more cost effective to buy a big can of pumpkin at the Restaurant Depot and call it a day. But that's the difference between OK restaurants and great restaurants. They take tremendous pride in their food, from seeking out the best local fresh ingredients to using those ingredients to make simple luscious well seasoned and balanced dishes. I can tell you that the best compliment I could give to the chefs that day was an grateful empty plate.

You would be doing yourself a favor by finding and supporting those restaurants that understand that simple philosophy. I know I'll keep supporting the treasure that is Lidia's Kansas City.

Be Prepared

I have been known to keep a treat or two in my pockets for my four legged friends that I might run into while going about my daily business. However I was caught completely off guard when leaving my downtown KC workplace the other day.

This would be O'Sullivan and Blaise. I believe that's Officer Mike Mast with O'Sullivan but I didn't get the name of the officer on Blaise. I'll make up for it next time they come walking up the street by having an apple or carrot or two ready for sharing with our hard working police horses.


Are there doughnuts for horses.....?

Sugared Cranberries

It's fresh Cranberry season and I'm celebrating. Cranberries, much like brussel sprouts, are an acquired taste. Which is fine, just means more for me but I've got to hustle because cranberry season does not last long.

I like the cranberry's flavor. It's got that bitter tang that adds another level of complexity to a dish or your meal. I'll definitely be making the longtime favorite from Epicurious, Cranberry Sauce with Port and Tangerines .
I've always wanted to try my hand at sugared cranberries. They are so pretty when I've seen them online and sugared fruits of all kind are a great food decorating method.

Turns out it's a very easy process. Make a simple syrup, 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water, simmered until the sugar melts. Let it cool just a bit because you don't want your cranberries to burst from the heat and then pour it over a rinsed, well picked bag of cranberries, coating well. Cover and let that sit in the fridge at least 5 hours or overnight. Once the cranberries have finished their simple syrup soak, drain them from the syrup and place the cranberries on cookie sheet, all in one layer and let them sit out for 1 hour. Then roll them, small batches at a time in sugar.

Now the sugar suggestions range all over the map. Some recipes call for superfine sugar like caster, other call for a first rolling in a larger grained sugar, then re-rolling in regular sugar. You'll have to experiment with what you like best. I went with the really fine grained sugar. After which I proceeded to eat copious amounts of cranberry bombs.

Guess what's coming to work as a snack??

A Chef Walks into a Grocery Store with Ten Dollars....

Best intentions. I'm sure they had the best of intentions. Who am I talking about? A whole passel of folks in the news recently but mainly I'm talking about the Partnership for a Healthier America. Last week a group of celebrity chefs gathered in Washington DC to stunt cook (but for a good cause). This particular event caught my eye for two reasons: 1) Tom Colicchio and 2) it was a straight up repeat of this challenge...

...where Season 4 chefs' shop at Whole Foods to make dinner for a family of four using a $10 budget. The twist this time? They are not pimping Whole Foods but their supposed challenge was to use SNAP coupons. SNAP stands for Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or the current form of food stamps. So the two teams of chefs were supposedly to use $10 of SNAP money to make their meal. But our long experience with Chef Tom tells us that there's no way he's going to actually take ten bucks into a grocery store and shop for a whole meal. Nope. As typical with restaurant chefs, they've jiggered the numbers again to allow themselves to use restaurant math to make this work for them. They also decided that the recipes that they produced were for two families. So already they've taken a very real situation that many people face today and cheated it into something totally unrealistic all the while giving themselves a big pat on the back for being so philanthropic. If you think I'm being harsh, here is Tom's list of ingredients for his three course meal of Salad, Beef Stir Fry and Panna Cotta with Orange Segments.

1 whole bag carrots, 1/2 cup raisins, 2 apples, 1/2 cup buttermilk, 2 T apple cider vinegar, salt and pepper, 1 1/2 pounds beef round, 1 cup broccoli florets, 1 cup snow peas, 1 cup button mushrooms, hot sesame oil AND regular sesame oil, 3/4 cup soy sauce, 1 T oyster sauce, 1 T fresh lime, 1/2 cup green onion, 1/2 cup peanuts, 1 cup onion, 1 T garlic, 1/2 cup cilantro, 3 cups brown rice, 1 packet sugar free orange jello, 1 1/2 cups buttermilk and orange segments.

Now I don't have to go shopping to tell you how crazy that list is for regular folks and I'm not sure just what the rules are for what products are and are not allowed to be purchased using SNAP, but I'm thinking oyster sauce is not included. Here's what I do know. When faced with attempting to make every dollar stretch, every penny count, unemployed parents are going to hard pressed to turn away from a cheap Micky Dee's Happy Meal when faced with this list. Hell Tom's list is not so bad compared to Ming Tsai's list which includes two heads of frisee. But these restaurant chefs are going to have to accept the fact that folks using SNAP are not going to have two kinds of sesame oil in their pantry, if they still have a pantry at all.

So what did they accomplish? Did they raise a lot of money for their non-profit? Probably. Did they raise awareness about healthy eating? Not sure since there were no nutritional values listed in the press releases or on their website where I found their recipes. Did they convince anyone that the meals they made can hit their ten dollar budget? Highly unlikely since again, no monetary values were attached to the recipes. Did Chef Tom get the experience of having someone spit out his creation in front of a live audience? Hella yes! (Read all about it here at the Washington Post article describing the hilarious spit by spit event) But let's just take a cold reality shower and remember that 60 Minutes and CBS News recently had a sobering piece about families living in vehicles because of the economic reality many are currently experiencing.

Arielle Metzger and Austin Metzger

Maybe these two kids should give a seminar on eating healthier on $10. It might be a little more honest.

What the Heck is That?

Thanksgiving Update

I don't know about you but I had an awesome Thanksgiving holiday. I ate so much that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to wear my Wonder Sauna Pants for at least a week.

I'm not sure how this will fit in with the office dress code....however knowing my co-workers I doubt I will be the only one wearing a pair. I had the pleasure of not cooking a darned thing for the dinner. Let me tell you it felt mondo weird but my big gay boyfriend Craig had it all covered, including this beautiful table setting with a tablecloth he threw together himself.

BACK OFF LADIES, HE'S MINE.

Craig actually had the dinner catered. I'm not telling you who did the catering because it was so freaking delicious that I don't want the secret to get out.

By the way, if I'm ever in a coma and my mom's gravy is unavailable, this is the 2nd in line turkey gravy to plug into my IV in order to revive me. Even though we had plenty of food, Craig decided to deep fry his own turkey.

He was testing out Butterball's new indoors turkey fryer. He had the small model but it worked so well on this little turkey he went right out and bought the larger version the very next day.

Good food, good friends, children telling embarrassing stories about their parents, and plenty of libations to keep the mood festive. Even the weather had a good time and busted out with the low 60's that allowed us to sit outside and snack before dinner. But the icing on the cake? A soft, adorably cute, 10 week old Brittany puppy named Dusty.

Really, if you want to make your party a total success, rent cute puppies and let them loose on your guests. Especially if you to see me turn into a goobering idiot.

Hi, my name is Dusty and I want to whisper secrets in your ear...

Meanwhile back in the kitchen, a tragedy is about to happen. Turkey carcasses were about to be thrown out. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm fairly certain Craig thought I was crazy but just like making fish stock, meaty carcasses make the best stock. Since I hadn't cooked anything before the meal, I rushed home to cook after the meal. First I cleaned off a lovely pile of meat from the two turkey carcasses I rescued. Next I arranged all the bones into a big roaster and let them get good and brown. Then I hauled out my big blue granite ware canning pot and dumped the hot bones in some water with some onions, celery and carrots and a little bundle of fresh herbs. A couple hours and a lot of skimming later we have turkey stock.

So I've got plenty of white meat, dark meat and stock. What to do? Actually our weather helped me decide. Currently we have been yoyoing between winter-like temps and Indian Summer. The day after Thanksgiving swung back to the cold side so soup seemed like a good idea. I'm not a white meat aficionado so finding a way it more palatable was necessary. Tortilla Soup seemed like a winner.

Since this was basically a leftovers meal, I didn't want anything too complicated. The Pioneer Woman Cooks had just the right Tortilla Soup recipe. I only had a couple of changes to her recipe. First, didn't have to roast any chicken breasts since I had the turkey. I did sprinkle some of the spice mix over it and then stir fried the white meat in a little bit of oil to give it some depth.

Followed the rest of the recipe except that I added some finely diced jalapeno and a can of hominy to the soup. As for the toppings, I went with fresh onion, cilantro, avocado and lime. Many recipes call for sour cream and Monterey Jack cheese but frankly, with the avocado, who needs it?

Oh so the right choice. Earthy flavors of cumin and garlic with the brightness of lime and the crunchy yumminess of corn tortillas. Really this is almost a stew but who's complaining. It's the Thanksgiving that keeps on giving.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you should remember that we had a Pie Off not too long ago. One of the pies in the running was Momofuku's Crack pie. Froggy over at her blog has a Thanksgiving family tradition of making a Mystery Pie and yep, you guessed it, she made Crack Pie. Go on over and look at it's loveliness. By all accounts Crack Pie goes into the win column.

My last duty of Thanksgiving is to give Dani of Gardening Under the Florida Sun her Thanksgiving Holiday turkey.

Mr. Dani should be thankful that I'm only giving her a digital turkey because we all know she wants a real one.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!