March Madness

I know it's time for a whole lotta college basketball silliness. Office bracket pools and constant television coverage. FEH!! However there is one bracket I wouldn't mind putting some money down on.

It's Garden and Gun's Ultimate Southern Food Bracket. You can go to Garden and Gun to vote for yourself. While you're there enjoy a fantastic website for southern food. I'm guessing their hardcopy magazine is just as nice as the website. Will have to look for it in my area. And if you're like me, you'll be googling Frogmore Stew (which is neither froggy or stew-like). Also did they leave any of your Southern favorites out of the bracket?

GO SOFTSHELL CRABS!!

Photo by Helene Dujardin

Check Please Kansas City, with a Top Chef Twist

2011 was the year I turned 50. No big deal, no big events but it did cause a wee session of "Life in Review" introspection. What I found was a woman fairly comfortable in her ample skin, a bit of a recluse, happy to be puttering in the kitchen and the digital darkroom. Still there was room for personal envelope pushing. Not exactly a bucket list mind you but more traveling down some avenues that might lead to whole new adventures. This is what I was thinking as I filled out the digital application for the Kansas City version of Check Please!

Check Please is a public television program that originated in Chicago in 2001. Ordinary folks visit three restaurants and then "chat" about their experiences in studio. Currently only four other cities host a version of Check Please and a fifth, Seattle, will start their version this year. Back in early 2011 I filled out the application and then promptly sent the link to my two of my most reliable dining buddies, hoping they would fill it out and we could all be on the show together, making the experience much like what we do already, eat, gossip and talk about fracking. However, my two buddies have much more detailed and busier lives than I do and the application link was soon lost in over-burdened piles of electronic noise. Months passed and no response was ever received to my submittal, leading me to believe that I had been rejected. That was until September when I received an email that I had indeed been selected and here's your three restaurants to visit. It was another Put Up or Shut Up moment. But really, was it that hard? Go eat food and then go talk about it on camera? For most people, probably not. For the lifelong behind the scenes, never in the limelight person, yeah, it was hard. But I did it anyway.

I have to admit, it was kinda surreal. I did snap a couple of photos before we started the in studio segment.

This is my place at the table. The one thing that bugs me about this show is the empty plates. I know it's set dressing but damn it if you're going to set the table, you better be putting some food on those plates. So I brought my own food. That's a photo of one of the appetizers from one of the restaurants we reviewed. Overall it was a fun experience and I'm glad I didn't punk out. You can watch the episode here. But because it's food and tv and me, it couldn't be without a whiff of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. You see back when we were filming I happen to mention that one of the restaurants was for sale on Craig's List and said how bizarre to try and sell a restaurant that way. (News that R-Bar is up for sale on Craig's List.) Apparently that triggered a whole landslide of "what the hell do we do now?" from the producers. The way the show is set up, more than likely what happens is the producers send out a general letter to many restaurants saying that they are considering reviewing your restaurant, is that ok with you? For the most part, restaurants like publicity enough that they will take the chance that they won't get a bad review. I know this because I asked while we were waiting for the studio segment if any restaurants had refused to participate and only a couple had during the history of the Kansas City version. Once the restaurants respond, the reviewers are sent out anonymously to eat at their three assigned restaurants. They send in their reviews and wait to see if they will be chosen to review on camera. Once the studio segment is done, camera crews are sent out to the restaurants to do the "hero" segments. Nice shots of pretty people in the restaurant, closeups of the food and owners talking about their business. So when it came to the restaurant up for sale I'm guessing they weren't too interested in allowing cameras in to shoot food for a concept that might be revamped if sold. As it was they were barely operating at the time and only open 3 nights a week and running on a severely limited menu. So the producers scrambled to save the segment. But in a bizarre twist, they brought in three totally new reviewers and...

...had them go to the restaurant, order drinks and food and then filmed the review segment in the actual restaurant. The focus of this last piece was liquor because this particular joint, at that moment, was trying to promote itself as a bar first and gastro pub second. I say at that moment because in yet another twist they announced in February that they've hired a new chef, thought about opening an additional night a week and teased that they might, just might serve lunch. Now I think this particular restaurant came out smelling like a rose in the whole Check Please deal because folks, the food when I went there was absolutely horrid. I didn't use the word horrid in my on camera review but I was honest when it came to the food. I thought the decor was beautiful, the thought the service was good but I thought it was way overpriced for the quality and quantity of food I ate. Or tried to eat. I don't remember specifically how the other two reviewers rated their food so I won't put words into their mouths but I don't think it was as glowing as the subsequent three new reviewers. I have to say that makes me sad for a couple of reasons. One of the reasons I wanted to do this was because it seemed an honest representation of ordinary people reviewing their experience in a restaurant. No one told me what to say or what not to say. Just be myself. I've seen previous reviewers who had strong opinions about whether food is good or bad or overpriced so it's not always a total valentine for the restaurants. Who I feel really bad for is Jadh, the young woman who chose this restaurant as her favorite and had her segment totally removed from the show. She got punked which is sad because she was really good on camera.

So there you have it. Mostly good, some bad and I got a great t-shirt out of it.

Cuckoo for Cocoa Beer

Americans have been known to participate in some interesting fads.

The good citizens of Kansas City are no less immune to a goofy fad than Americans in general. This is a tale of one such fad.

Kansas City happens to be home to the Boulevard Brewing Company. Probably their best known beer is their Pale Ale.

They sell quite a selection to cover your yang for beer. But Kansas City is not only known for barbecue and beer. Happily we can add gourmet chocolate to the list of good things to come out of Kansas City, thanks to Christopher Elbow.

I get way more excited about chocolate than I do beer plus the boss doesn't care if you go out at lunch and throw down a couple of chocolates. Hell, my boss asks me to bring some back for her.

I don't know who originally came up with the idea but back in 2010 Boulevard Brewing decided they needed a Valentine's beer to add to their speciality/seasonal roster. Why not make a chocolate beer? Better yet, team up with man known for chocolate in Kansas City, and make a Christopher Elbow chocolate beer. So they made a batch, put out the word in early January 2011 and Boulevard Christopher Elbow Chocolate Pale Ale sold out fairly quickly. Not only sold out quickly but apparently made an appearance on Ebay at a price way over it's original selling price. Local beer lovers took notice. Chocolate lovers took notice. Opportunists took notice. 2012 rolls around and Boulevard announces that yes, Chocolate Ale will return for the Valentine's holiday. However the marketing campaign for the beer went into overdrive. The brewmasters were giving television interviews. Christopher Elbow was everywhere pushing the beer, newspapers, magazines and radio. January was an onslaught of Chocolate Ale hype. When the beer finally reached the stores, the lines were deep and the people were waiting to buy as much as they could.

I think it sold out locally the same day it was released despite the brewery making three times as much as the year before. I didn't notice until I saw the signs up on just about every grocery store I frequent saying they were out of Chocolate Ale and wouldn't be getting any until 2013. Really? None to be had in the city? Yes, pretty much that was the scenario. I wondered if I could get a bottle from an online distributor? Certainly the KC madness couldn't reach into other areas? So I found a online beer seller and ordered a bottle. Or I should say that I thought I ordered a bottle. They took the info, my credit card number and shipping address. Actually the shipping was more expensive than the one bottle of beer. So I waited. It wasn't until later into the next week when I realized that I hadn't received a shipping notice or tracking number. The reply to my email inquiry as to when I would receive the beer I ordered made me realize that the stupidity had indeed reached even further out of Kansas City. The online beer seller was saying that when I had made my order that they actually didn't have any in stock. That I had neglected the big red warning that said just that. Of course I immediately called Shenanigans because had there been a big red warning (as there was now on their website) I wouldn't have ordered it. I would have kept on googling for a beer seller that actually had it in stock. Beer seller did not like my logic or the fact that I cancelled my order. I thought that was the end of the Boulevard Beer debacle but there was one more chapter waiting to be uncorked.

Turns out at least a third of the batch Boulevard sold had some "unwanted flavors". WHAT?? Punky chocolate ale? That's right and they would buy back that funky beer (after jumping through some hoops). This was just too rich. Even better? The online Beer Seller emailed me again claiming to have gone out and purchased more chocolate ale from other liquor stores in their area to keep up with demand for the beer. He also felt the need to add that his other customers were very happy with their service. This made me chuckle heartily. Whenever someone feels the need to say how well they are doing something it almost always means ass covering is in full effect. I couldn't resist one last email poke. "This beer you purchased, was it the beer that Boulevard is recalling for being nasty?" I can only assume that Beer Seller is just too busy accepting accolades from his many happy customers because my email in-box has been empty, waiting for his response.

So there you have it, a little February mania over beer and a little peek into life in Kansas City.

No Harm No Foul??

Does anyone remember this movie? CC and Company? Joe Namath, Ann Margaret? 1970? No? I remember it. I remember it for one thing and only one thing only. This clip.



Pretty funny huh? I especially like the dainty way Joe utilizes a paper napkin. But that's a bad 1970's movie. It shouldn't be real life. And yet....I see more and more people imitating Joe Namath in his seminal role as CC Ryder making a sandwich.

Take for instance this bulk container of craisins. You and I might think it's bulk display to sell dried cranberries. Other folks look at it as a free range feeding station. Crunchy feely granola-looking girl certainly did. I watched in amazement as this skinny little woman stuck her unwashed paw into the display and grubbed out a handful that she quickly shoved into her mouth. Not one or two craisins but enough to puff out her cheeks like a greedy chipmunk. Still hungry, she grabbed another pawful. She must of felt my gaze because she looked up, saw me staring with my jaw dropped to my chest and skittered safely onto the next aisle. Now unless this chick got weighed on her way into the store and will get weighed again at checkout, bitch just committed petty larceny. This is not some poor soul, stealing bread for their starving family. This is someone who could afford a trendy messenger bag and some kicking boots. So why did she feel entitled to eat food that was obviously not hers? Why did she think I would want to purchase any of the remaining product after she grabbed a handful, ate them from her hand and then grabbed more? I'm trying to imagine just what other nastiness transferred to that big bag of craisins.

This is not the first time I've seen someone boost some breakfast. I was in a grocery store closer to where I live when I overheard two boys snarfing down on Long Johns. You know the oblong chocolate iced donut? The one boy asked other other what he thought of their treat. Apparently his response was a bit hesitant because the first boy shared that they were much better early in the morning when they were fresh. They walked away in the general direction of a woman who I was assuming was one of the boy's mother.

She was busy not paying attention to them. Did they pay for them? Not a clue, they were still shopping when I left but the donut case is near the front of the store so I'm guessing that good old mom failed to mention to the cashier about her son and his friend's little snack. Again we're not talking a ton of money to either the grocery store or to the shopper. But what the hell is this mother teaching her son? Hey, if you don't get caught, it's not a crime? We're not talking a family at the point of starvation. We're talking a grocery store located in a county that counts itself one of the most affluent in the United States.

Is this something I'm just seeing? Is anyone else noticing such petty pilfering in their experiences? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

Eating at the Abbey

OK this is just an excuse to post a pretty picture of some of the lovely ladies of Downton Abbey but there's a fascinating piece over at NPR about the complexity of food before and after two world wars in Great Britain.


Plus I might even watch one episode of Top Chef again if it could be arranged to have the Dowager Countess could put the smack down on Chef Tom.

Now this is a Pie Crimper

A 19th Century carved whale bone pie crimper. (Appraised on Antiques Roadshow in 2004 for $6,000 - $9,000)

Construction 101

I'm not sure why but I seem to be taking on cooking projects that are more like actual construction projects than simple, making fun dinner recipes. This is what happens when you cannot let something go to waste, like fresh okra. I still had some fresh from my okra pie quest. I wanted to use it in a non-traditional way (because okra pie is so yesterday...) and I also like to stretch my kitchen skills muscles. My first thought was to take the basics of shrimp gumbo and make them into a tamale filling. The cuisines of countries south of the US are largely unexplored by me so tamale making required some research. It looks fairly simple, make filling, make masa, place masa and filling in soaked corn husk and steam - VOILA! Right now all the righteous old school tamale makers are cackling at my naivety. My research did not scare me off from the process but it did change the course of the filling. You see tamales, in their final cooking stage, steam quite a bit, depending on the recipe you follow. I'm not sure how shrimp would hold up to that and I really didn't want to find out the first time I made tamales. So I shifted gears into thinking about a different filling to pair up with my okra. Traditional choices seem to be slow cooking a pork shoulder in many wonderful spices and then shredding the meat. But that's a lot of meat even with a small pork shoulder and pork didn't seem to be the right combo with the okra. Then I had lunch at a new downtown restaurant, The Tamale Wizard.

No, that's not a tamale but anytime a KC restaurant has soft shell crabs on their Fish Friday menu, you'll soon find me sniffing around. Actually it was the second time I had lunch here that gave me (stole) the inspiration for my tamale experiment. It was a delicious and juicy short rib taco. Short ribs would be a great pairing with the robust flavor of okra. With my filling choices and flavors decided, it was time to draw up a schedule and begin construction.

As you can see by my construction schedule, the short rib filling is an all day preparation. But that's ok because your crockpot is your friend when it comes to cooking short ribs.

But first it's best to braise them in a little bit of oil. For this recipe I'm using 2 pounds of bone in short ribs, English cut.

Once you've browned them on all sides (3 - 4 minutes) you're going to put them in your crockpot with 4 strips of bacon, a quartered medium onion, 4 cloves of crushed garlic, 1 cup sliced grape tomatoes, 1/2 cup cilantro, 1 bay leaf (I use fresh), 1 tablespoon each of cumin, chili powder & smoked paprika, 2 teaspoons each of coriander and kosher salt. Add 2 cups beef stock to the ribs and spices in the crockpot. If the stock does not just cover the ribs, add enough water until it does. Let that cook on low for 8 hours. Once 8 hours has passed, turn off the crockpot and let it cool down for an hour still in the crockpot. Then transfer to a container and cool completely until you are able to handle the meat. Shred the meat and discard the bones but save all the cooking liquid.

While your meat is cooking, you need to start soaking your cornhusks in a large shallow pan of hot water. Weigh the tamales down with a plate so they stay submerged. Corn husks come in different sized packages so you want to soak at least 25 for the amount of filling and masa this recipe makes. In my area, finding corn husks was fairly easy but your area may differ. Soaking can take 2 to 3 hours because you want those husks soft and pliable. Once they are soft, rinse off any remaining grit and set aside for assembly.

Your meat is cooking, your husks are soaking, you now need to start your masa. Masa is made from dried hominy and if you can find a place to buy corn husks, it's a sure bet they also have masa. Take 4 cups of masa and mix it with 2 1/2 cups warm water. It will be a dry dough at this point. Set it aside. In a bowl combine a tablespoon of kosher salt, 2 teaspoons of baking power and a cup of lard. Now if you are anti-lard, you can substitute vegetable shortening. I broke out the lard for this recipe. Mix in a stand mixer or with a hand mixer until light and fluffy. Now you're going to add the masa to the lard mixture a fourth of the masa mixture at a time, making sure the masa is well incorporated before adding the next. Once all the masa has been incorporated, add one cup chicken stock and beat for 5 minutes. Now for the important floating masa test.

Grab a small ball of the masa mixture and drop it in a glass of water. If it floats, you're good. If it doesn't float, mix it some more and test again. Once it floats, cover the masa with plastic wrap and chill for an hour. After an hour pull it out of the fridge and add another 1/2 cup of chicken broth and mix well. Conduct second float test. Once it floats, your masa is ready for assembly.

Now for the last part of the filling puzzle, the okra.

Unlike the pie recipe when I used okra's slime, here I wanted to eliminate the ooze. Again, I heeded the wise words of Chef Virginia Willis, roast it and the slime will be gone. There's also another reason to roast okra. It just makes it better. Actually you can apply that little sticky bit of advice to almost any vegetable. You want to taste a vegetables' true flavor? Cut it up, coat it in a little bit of oil, sprinkle on some kosher salt and roast it in a hot oven until it caramelizes just a little bit and eat it hot. Brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower and all the leafy greens can be roasted. It's just good stuff. So that's what I did with the okra. Roasted in a 400 degree oven for not very long, you have to watch so it doesn't burn.

Let the assembly begin.

Here is the husk with masa dough spread out. Roughly you want a four inch square of masa about an inch away from the top and bottom of the husk.

Then you put your filling down the center of masa. I'm fairly certain I have too much mixture to masa in the picture above. You want to be able to roll the sides of the masa over the mixture and seal in the middle but those first tamales were just butt ugly things to behold. However, when you've reached this stage, there's no going back. So the general idea is to fold the corn husk over and roll it to seal the tamale. Then you fold the bottomed tapered edge towards the top. Some recipes call for tying the tamales with kitchen string, others don't. I tied and learned a valuable lesson. Don't tie too tightly because the tamales expand in the steam and your string will cut your tamale in half. Not pretty.

So all my tamales were assembled and ready for steaming. Not a hard thing right? Miss Think's She Can Do This With A Jury-Rigged Steamer had all the answers right? FEH! Unless you have a steamer insert in your kitchen job-box, just go buy one of these. It costs fifteen bucks and you can use it to steam just about anything.

This nifty little pot has an insert with steamer slits and hole in the middle that allows you to add water to your steamer without it getting all over your tamales. So you take your tamales and place them standing up around the edges of the interior of the steamer. Again, don't pack them in too close together so they have room to expand. Place a few extra soft corn husks on top of all your tamales to help seal in the steam. Add the lid and steam them for at least an hour and 15 minutes. Again, the steaming time varies recipe to recipe. I went two hours and the test is to pull a tamale out of the steamer and see if the husk pulls away from the masa easily. If it does and the masa looks and feels spongy, they are ready.

At this point you can eat the tamales as is but I hate wasting anything so I decided to make a sauce of all that lovely liquid that the short ribs cooked in. The first step was to bring the liquid and the accumulated solids to a boil. Reduced it down a bit. Then I hit it with my stick blender to incorporate the solids and let that cook down. Next I took the results of that and strained out the remaining solids. The strained liquid I put back in the pan and tasted. I found it a bit salty so I added a tablespoon of brown sugar and let it blend into the flavors over a medium heat for 7 - 10 minutes. Tasted again and found the saltiness was now balanced with a bit of sweetness. Still it was missing some heat and complexity. Added some healthy shakes of some wonderful ancho chili powder and again let it cook again for 5 minutes. Almost there. Another shake of chili powder and the juice of half a lime. Cook, stirring constantly for 5 minutes and taste. Oh yeah, that's the flavor I was looking for. Add just enough beef broth to loosen the sauce up and drizzled it over my freshly steamed tamales.

Oh my goodness, they may have been ugly, they may require many man hours of professional contractors but damn they are good. The sauce is just a tad sweet with a whole lot of spice and the meat and okra mixture is bold and hearty. Bless you leftover okra for a job well done. I think I'll give my crew a bonus.

New Toolbelts for Everyone!!

Chocolate Solar System

Too beautiful to eat, it's the chocolate solar system.

Sadly these beautiful chocolates are only available thru L'eclat of the Righa Royal Hotel of Japan.

And no...they don't ship overseas. Whaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Battle of the Brands

Would you make this for your family?

Would you serve this to a guest to your home?

If you've been stuck in a media blackout bunker, trying to hide from the insanity that is the Republican primaries then you might have missed the ongoing bloody Battle of the Culinary Brands.

This current battle really started last August when Tony Bourdain gave an interview to TV Guide. In that interview he slammed Food Network's shiniest stars, Rachel Ray, Sandra Lee, Guy Fieri and Paula Deen. Of Deen he said "the worst, most dangerous person in America … plus, her food sucks”. This is nothing new for Father Tony, he's been bitch slapping Food Network stars for years now but Paula decided to answer back with the tired, old, I'm one with the real people trope. "You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine,” she said. “My friends and I cook for regular families who worry about feeding their kids and paying the bills.” (...and yet I don't see Tony pimping a 3 piece furniture set for $3,600 or a cheapest single ticket to her seven day cruise for $1,500). Frank Bruni, the food critic for the NY Times shoved his way into the conversation, siding with Deen and calling Bourdain elitist which is pretty freaking funny considering the paper he works for and the town he works in. Things settled down for a bit until....

Flash forward to January 17th and Paula Deen is confirming on NBC's Today show that, yes, she has Type 2 Diabetes, yes, she's now the spokesperson for Novo Nordisk and their injectable diabetes drug, Victoza and yes, she's known and has been treating her diabetes for three years. Victoza, which costs something like $500 a month, is not exactly cheap for the common folk Ms. Deen so loudly claims to champion. Mr. Bourdain, looking a bit like a modern day prophet, lobbed this Twitter pie directly at Team Deen's face, "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later." Bruni, suddenly smelling which way the butter burns, also checked in with NY's opinion on this national story, saying "She had waited three long, greasy years since her diagnosis to come out. During that period, she promoted the deep-fried life without acknowledging her firsthand experience of how a person can be burned by it". Thanks Frank.

Since then it's been a constant tsunami of quotes and public relations web spinning. Paula's longtime publicist left Paula in December over the current direction of Team Deen, thinking she still had a job with her sons. She was quickly released from their employment. Food Network, also sensing bad juju, released their statement that they had no idea whatsoever that Ms. Deen had diabetes. Paula weakly defended herself, blathering something about not being educated enough to reveal her condition. Apparently she also felt a bit hurt that none of her brother and sister celebrity chefs are running to her defense but can you blame them? Actually I'm guessing that the only person happier about this Deen/Diabetes brouhaha is Ina Garten who can now officially come off the Internet Outrage pedestal after having refused a child's Make a Wish request and had her brand ripped up one side and down another.

The most amusing aspect of this whole charade is that those who strongly support Paula Deen's culinary empire (Smithfield Ham, Philadelphia Cream Cheese/Kraft Food, Nebraska Furniture Mart, magazines, restaurant, cookbooks, dvds, cookware and television shows) now claim that her food, her culinary output is only meant to entertain the masses. That she's always preached moderation. That's she's not responsible for what food you choose to put in your mouth. To this we must call Shenanigans! If Paula Deen is only on TV for entertainment purposes I'm guessing companies like Smithfield and Kraft are going to want their advertising and sponsorship dollars back. They are certainly not advertising on her show or on the Food Network as some sort of charitable donation. Hell no, they want Paula's viewers and fans to buy and keep buying their many processed food products. They don't care if Americans get diabetes, they have product to push and now with Victoza, you can keep eating their products and her food and all will be well.

The one thing I agree with out of all this is that no one forces you to eat or cook like a tv chef, food blogger, or newspaper critic. You have to be responsible for your own health and decisions. But there's a reason why the tv show Jackass has huge blazing warnings not to try their stunts on your own....because idiots do. There are thousands and thousands of Paula Deen fans that cook and eat her food with regularity. They find justification in the buzz words used to describe her food: comfort, rib sticking, southern, traditional, country and uncomplicated. Pointing out the unhealthy aspects of her dishes is translated into attacking the emotional resonance that food represents to her devoted fans. C'mon y'all, you'll feel better if you make yourself a big ole pile of my Mac and Cheese and some wonderful fried chicken, just like grandma used to make. That's a pretty powerful pitch. Let's all just remember that above everything thing else it is a pitch. Paula's not your girlfriend and she's not going to invite you into her house to cook you food, Tony's not your buddy, Frank Bruni doesn't really care about your opinions. They all represent Brands that must be fed and cared for. They all have an agenda to push and empires to maintain and salaries to pay. The team you should be most concerned with is YOU and your family. Use the common sense that the good lord gave you and use fresh food in dishes you make yourself, recipes full of vegetables, fruit and whole grains. You can only help yourself build a strong foundation to a healthy lifestyle and in the process make your own wonderful food memories.

How Far Will It Go?

I have never tasted Atlantic bluefin tuna sushi or sashimi. Actually I don't think I've eaten that species of tuna in any form. I will probably never get the chance to. Not that it's not available, sadly it is. But this fish, a species that has fed the world for thousands of years is in danger of collapsing to unrecoverable levels due to overfishing. Now in years past, Americans would learn about such things by reading the National Geographic magazine. They would have spectacular action color photography of tuna underwater. They might have Jacques Cousteau explain the various migration and mating patterns of this apex predator. I'm sure there would even be a map and graph showing all the different species and habitats of the tunas of the world. Later, when television took off, National Geographic wildlife specials were fascinating and a bit scary. All the drama you could want was right there as you followed what ever creature or life form they were exploring. Little did we know those were the golden years of Nat Geo.

Nat Geo recently announced that they are to air "Wicked Tuna", an unscripted reality show featuring tuna fishermen of Gloucester, Massachusetts has they hunt the Atlantic Bluefin tuna. Now this is sad in just so many ways. First I learned that News Corp and Rupert Murdoch owns 67% of the National Geographic Channel which begins to explain Wicked Tuna. You see, the "fishing reality/competition" reality programs have been done to death. Deadliest Catch has been running on the Discovery Channel since 2005. Then we had Lobstermen but that lasted only one season. Determined to keep cashing in on Deadliest Catch's format for success, sword fishermen (and woman) were next to pop up on the Discovery Channel. But neither the Atlantic Bluefin tuna's precarious fishery levels nor the tired nature of watching men fish will keep Nat/News Corp from promoting and airing Wicked Tuna.

What can you do to help stop promoting the destruction of the Atlantic Bluefin Tuna? Well for one thing kill your cable television. I'm not joking. In April of last year I ditched pay tv and haven't looked back. No money will go to Murdoch, no eyes will see whatever advertisers pay for commercial time on Wicked Tuna. I was mad as hell and I didn't want to take it anymore. Isn't it about time for you to stop taking it too?

Putting Up, Not Shutting Up - Okra Pie

OK, I think I did it. Made an edible okra pie. Will it replace the classic apple pie, the sweet and gooey blueberry or the unending variety of cream pies? No. But if you want to try something completely different and you're an adventurous soul, here's what you do.

First, let's remember that it's the middle of January in the midwest so my access to fresh okra was difficult at first. However plenty of frozen to go around. Actually two kinds of frozen for our purposes. Precut and whole. When I first started out on this project, I thought the precut okra would work great. That was a big no go. Too much chewy okra texture and general bad mouth feel. So I switched to the whole okra and cut it to the size I thought would work best. Since I'm working a nine inch pie, I decided to use two one pound bags of whole okra. Two thirds of this I sliced really thin (while still mostly frozen, cuts better) and the remaining third I cut about a half inch thick.

Why do this? Well the thin slices break down a little bit and make better pie filling and the larger pieces still give the filling the okra texture. So once you've cut up your okra we need to make it just a little less okrery. Put the thin sliced okra in a pan and add enough water to cover. Bring it to a boil. Once it has reached boiling, lower the heat to a simmer. Add the juice of one lemon and let simmer for a couple minutes. Now add 3/4 cup brown sugar and stir to mix. Taste the mixture. You may like it sweeter or more tart according to your taste. Now stir in the remaining thicker slices of okra. Remove from heat and set aside.

Toast 2 cups of pecans halves for 10 minutes in a 350 degree oven. Once toasted and cool enough to handle, roughly chop the nuts and add them to the okra mixture. Add the zest of one lemon and 2 tablespoons of cornstarch and mix well. Pour the mixture into the pie crust.

As I said in my original Facebook posting, I mentioned a cornmeal crust. None of my numerous pie cookbooks had a recipe I really liked so I resorted to Epicurious, my favorite go to site for fairly decent online recipes. They had just the pie crust I was looking for. They used it for a Apple Cranberry Pie and the only change I made was to leave out the pumpkin pie spice and use an entire top crust, not the leaf cutouts they prepared. Next time I might cut back on the salt. I will be making this crust again, it's almost like a cornmeal shortbread crust but very rustic. It would make a great crust for savory pie. I brushed the top of the pie with some buttermilk and sprinkled a little bit of very fine granulated sugar (caster sugar) on the top. Popped it into a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes with aluminum foil strips protecting the edges of the pie. Then another 15 minutes or so without the foil so the top crust can get nicely browned but not burned.

It's not a very pretty pie but I really kinda like the flavors none the less. Boiling away some of that strong okra flavor and then matching with what's left with the hard to beat combo of brown sugar and lemon is fun. What we haven't talked about is the slime, or the snot of the vegetable world as it's generally known. Virginia and I actually corresponded a little bit about developing this recipe and her suggestions on eliminating okra's slickness were valid but I wanted to bend it to my will, not make it disappear all together. By boiling the okra first, adding acidity (the lemon), and then binding the results (the cornstarch) I got a filling that holds together without being gummy or slimy. Earlier experiments involved many more spices to pair with the okra, namely a mild sweet curry however if there's one thing I've learned from watching many people cook food and developing my own cooking style, simple is better. The curry was one step too far. I'm much happier with the what finally developed.

So why do this? Why make a pie out of vegetable that a majority of people hate with a passion? Well there's the whole challenge of it. Think of it as a puzzle game, what fits best with what. Also knowing that you have the flexibility to create something from very little available. When I was doing the research for this project I read a very interesting passage from the Little House Cookbook. Barbara Walker wrote a wonderful book on the foods and cooking methods she believes were used during the frontier time period that was the setting of the Little House on the Prairie series. In the book, The Long Winter, Laura's mother makes a pie out of the only thing she currently had available , green pumpkin. Her ingenuity and cleverness provided a much welcomed treat when normal pie fillings were nowhere in sight. I like knowing that I can do that. The culinary sky's the limit if you can make a good tasting okra pie. You just never know where it will lead.

Putting Up - Okra Pie

Start with some research.

First try, fail.

Second try, edible but issues.