Sunday, September 6, 2009

Woe

I find myself in a bit of a culinary quandary this week. Due to unforeseen circumstances I've been dropped into a Delivery Dead Zone.Arthroscopic knee surgery and an unexpected seven day ban on driving put me here. It wouldn't be so bad if I lived in the world where Sandra Bullock lived in the movie, The Net, ordering food via the internet and having it delivered willy nilly. If all I ate were Pizza Hut products, this wouldn't be so bad. But I live in Kansas. It's not like NY in any way imaginable but especially when it comes to food delivery. It seems like the possibilities are endless for what culinary creations can be delivered to your door in the big city. Snacks, full blown meals, groceries all can be summoned with a short phone call or internet order and a credit card. Here? With a full grocery store less than two miles away I'll be lucky to find someone not to laugh at my request to drop off some fresh fruit and cheese.What's even funnier? I can have any number of bbq places ship to me, just not deliver. It's sad to say the least. It means I'll never see any goofy delivery guys pedal up to my door.Think of me this week as you have your yummy Chinese food delivered to your door. I'll be the woman on a search and destroy mission into the depths of her deep freeze.

17 comments:

frogponder said...

Oh! Ouch!
The Engineer would suggest hiking and military meals-ready-to-eat. I'm not sure you deserve that...!

Big Shamu said...

By Day Six it may come to that. (I think my neighbor has a secret obomba shelter, maybe there are some MREs I can get out of there...)

Boxer said...

do you have cabs in Kansas City? It's how all of the elderly alcoholics travel to the liquor store on the Island.

I was worried you had gone home too early..........

Big Shamu said...

Yes cabs available, not sure on wait time and cost. As Making Space says, Minions, use your Minions. I think my minions are invisible. And only in my head.

MakingSpace said...

I repeat: minions! Get out your bell and your bullwhip and place those orders!

OTOH, having seen your freezer, I'm losing sympathy for your position. Your freezer looks like it would keep you well fed (and since you cook, truly WELL fed) for about a month.

That said, do what you can to avoid the stir crazies. There must be some squirrels you can count.

And maybe a girl will ride by on a hamburger. While there's life, there's hope.

Big Shamu said...

It's not keeping well fed it's keeping my brain engaged. It's the sudden urge for broiled eel over rice where I get into trouble.

Dani said...

Oh no! I wish us girls in bloggerland were closer to you. We could set yah up quick.

Are you in pain or is it a bearable pain?
Lots of hugs to you. xoxoxo

Dani said...

Do you need any more surgery or did they get it all first time 'round?

Big Shamu said...

The pain is much less than the pre-surgery pain. I was just asking Boxer what I should do with all the leftover Vicodin. I'm getting around my little house just fine. I just can't drive. In a world where the car is king and public transportation is considered one step closer to socialism, I'm stuck. I do have some wonderful volunteers to schlep but god help me, I'm stubbornly independent. Asking for help is the kicker.

I very much appreciate everyone's kind thoughts.

Dani said...

I'm a lot like you. :) The asking help part is one I wrestle with all the time. hate the feeling that I can't do it all myself.

Boxer said...

I would be very happy to Fedex some Top Pot Donuts to you.

Big Shamu said...

I may need those by Thursday!!!

LaDivaCucina said...

I hope you feel better Sham. I'm sorry about your food delivery dilemmas and can certainly understand your frustration. However, I will never be in that situation because before La Diva looks for digs, the location MUST meet strict guidelines:

1. I must be able to WALK to a liquor store.

2. I must be able to WALK to get necessities, bread, milk, eggs, etc.

I turned down a faboo place in the Hollywood Hills because I realized everytime I went out I would have to drive!

So, your solution is, quite frankly, to move. I'll be over shortly with some mallomars, a van and a bottle of vodka.

Hope you feel better. (wouldn't it be nice if we could all Fed Ex Sham some food?)

Susan said...

I bet your minions are with my mute invisible valets on that cruise up the west coast to Alaska "and" is that really your freezer ?? Mend soon ! xo S, Missy D avec les Chats

Big Shamu said...

Apparently we're paying my minions and your mute valets way too much if they can afford to go on an Alaskan cruise together. Bastids!



No, not my freezer. But it's close.

Anonymous said...

If you go to nabiscoworld you can put in a zip code and nabisco will tell you where mallomars can be found right now. It's wonderfully high tech service for such a simple delight ... sugar and chocolate. Sad to say that when I put in kansas city zip I get an internet explorer error. coincidence or conspiracy, you be the judge. (Maria from CT)

Big Shamu said...

Thanks so much Maria from CT. Going to plug in my zippy digits right NOW!