Tuesday, December 14, 2010

All Nighter

When we last left our chefs, they had just survived the voracious hoard of demon children that had attempted to suck the very marrow from our heroes bones. It's 1:30 in the AM and collectively they had one thought, a little drinking and a lot of sleeping.

The sudden appearance of the man with the Shiny Head puts a kibosh on those plans. You see it's time for the Elimination Challenge. A 7:30 breakfast service for the kids and their parents. They can only use what's in the museum kitchen and Tiffani, as the winner of the Quickfire, gets to choose between the T-Rex diet of meat, eggs, dairy and meat by products or the Brontosaurus diet of fruit, vegetables and grain. Tiffani, takes all of a half a second and chooses meaty T-Rex making her teammates happy and the boys team sad. They then trundle off to their accommodations for the night.

What no mints??
They try and anticipate what they will find in a few short hours but let's face it, they can't do much until they see their choices. So the girls go to sleep, Tre longs to "sleep nekkid" (one k or two??)

and a bunch of boys go for a flashlight tour of the museum. Did they attempt to breach the kitchen security to get a leg up on challenge? WHY NOT!!

Instead they look for the familiar....

...and find it.

No time for sleeping, time for checking out the pantry. It is here that Tiffani discovers the twist in this particular challenge.

Yes, they have their meat but there's no acid, no herbs, no grains. Meat, dairy, eggs. That is IT, did you not listen to Chef Tom?

Yeah, you should have KNOWN better. It's Tom, you can't trust him. But here's my question. If you had known the limits of the pantries, would you have chosen veggies and fruit over meat and eggs for breakfast? Yes, no? Doesn't matter now, gotta cook. Well almost for everyone. It isn't long before Jamie slices her finger and decides, upon the advice of the on set medic, to go to the hospital and get stitches. This leaves Jen to pull off their dish alone and results in a sudden parade of kitchen war wounds and duct tape bandages with the general consensus being Jamie should have sucked it up. Yes, she's getting her cut stitched but really she might as well stay there for the eventual bus tracks she'll be wearing later.

Service starts promptly at 7:30 and here's what the two teams are serving,

Team Brontosaurus

Team T-Rex

Now I know what I'm thinking, frittatas, soft scrambled eggs, salmon and a slab of wet bacon is the plate I'd grab over gnocci, gazpacho, banana pudding parfait and polenta and most of the crowd did too but keep in mind, judging rules are very fluid when it comes to Top Chef. Just because a big group of people think one team's food is better than the other doesn't really mean that it is. Except that's how in the real world you sell food. Popularity. But this is Tom's world so that means Team Bronto wins. They get praised for serving gnocci for breakfast instead of recognizing it for being just another one trick Italian Pony from Fabio. But what really blows my mind are these three guys.

All three finalists in their seasons, two molecular gastronomists and Mr. Devious Perfection and the freaking best they can do is banana pudding parfait? They win the challenge with a pedestrian banana pudding parfait??? Which only makes it harder to hear the criticisms of the meat team for making steak and eggs well but really, if you can't make steak and eggs well, you shouldn't be here. It's just this sort of thinking that drives Jen over the edge of Judge's Table reason. Twitching with anger, she defends her dish like no one has ever defended a dish before. The rest of her team? Tre, who's sauce apparently ruined his and Casey's dish, says, oh well. Antonia and Tiffany sheepishly admit to being totally outwitted by an oven. J2-Stitch says nothing. All that's left is to tell Jen to pack her angry, angry knives and go, thus ending her way too short time on Top Chef All Stars. Sorry Jen, more of that passion is what is making this a great and interesting season.


the dogs' mother said...

>she might as well stay there for the eventual bus tracks she'll be wearing later.<

I was waiting for, 'I cut OFF my f'ing finger, threw it in the fridge, did the duct tape and then found the finger under the marinating shrimp and took the finger, nicely chilled, to the ER after service and I served the shrimp to the hospital staff by cooking it suvee in the autoclave'

Big Shamu said...

Snort! Autoclave Shrimp. Marcel would've been pissed he didn't think of it.

MakingSpace said...

J2-Stitch. LOL

OK wait. I'm tired, it's been a long day. Was the idea to vacuum seal and serve the shrimp or the finger? Ohhhh, too many years in musical theater - Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd and all that.

Yaaaahhh, this was a weird one. Hard to know what anyone was thinking. Still, Jen's exit is going to go down in TC history, no? Like Rudolph, only nasty...

Melissa said...

I love how girl stood up for herself and her dish.

I think she got auffed, because she almost made Tom cry....

Buzz Kill said...

Like the review and I think you nailed the low points. I watched some of the judge's out-takes on BravoTV and they never discussed (although this could be editing) Jamie at all. And correct me if I'm wrong but this was a "breakfast" challenge. Not a "brunch" challenge. The Bronto Team looks nothing like breakfast.

they'll never admit it but Tom and the judges blew this one.

moi said...

Two "Ks."

And, an "X" for banana pudding parfait. I was all, "are you kidding me?" too.