Thursday, July 1, 2010

American Pie

The Quickfire assignment? Pie. It's not often that Top Chef asks the chefs to make something that I dearly love but pie certainly fits into that category. It wasn't a hard assignment, two hours to make a pie. That is if you've made a pie before. If not, then you're kinda screwed.

Especially when Gail is here to pimp her new show, Top Chef Just Desserts. Seems that Gail will be hosting while Johnny Iuzzini...

...will be the Head Judge. Is he supposed to remind me of Bowzer?


Thank goodness that Hubert Keller will also be a judge because I'm not sure about Johnny. But enough about Just Desserts, let's have some PIE!

Except we're suddenly bombarded with chefs confessing to never having made a pie. So we at home must all pause and think, damn, I've made a pie. Hell I've made a lot of pies. I dream about the beauty of a well made, delicious and juicy peach pie. I want to go there. What's wrong with these people? Why wouldn't you want to make a pie?? It's un-American.

Is Top Chef harboring a bunch of panty waist Momma's boys? Scared of a little pie crust? No wonder America is going to hell in a hand basket.

Too busy with their foams to get down and dirty with the pie. It's just wrong.

No. She did not just say that? First thing I think of? Obvious member of the just busted Russian spy ring. Her name's not Sherry at all, it's Natasha.

Somebody please, make us some pie.

Whoa, hit the pause button. When you go by the title of Executive Chef at your restaurant, this is not what one expects your pie made from scratch to look like.

Sherry/Natasha isn't doing much better as she tries to explain to Johnny that she's not a pastry chef. Johnny promptly smacks her down with his grandmother's pie prowess.

Ed blames/is inspired by Johnny to go cracktastic with a banana cream pie, salted nuts and celery spuma.

Perhaps a Boris to our Natasha?

You decide.

The winning pie is Kenny's
Bananas Foster Pie with Currants and Chinese Five Spice
If you'd like to try making Kenny's pie yourself, click here for the recipe
As for me, I'm hitting the farmer's market for fresh peaches. Yeah baby!

16 comments:

Making Space said...

That pie of Kenny's would have looked really good if not for The Brown Smear of Doom there...

Peaches!!

Hey! I did that DSS! It was my first!

Nice hat tag for Angelo but you know what I want on there...

Big Shamu said...

Oh I'm sure it will be the first in a long line of hat tags for him. Just be patient.

froggy said...

I am the Aunt of the Mystery Pie - a 25 tradition at Thanksgiving. Among the hits - chess pie, cranberry pie - they have to come back every year. Total Miss - parsnip pie.

Big Shamu said...

Have you tried Vinegar Pie?

Dani said...

Good pie can always bring a smile to my face.

LaDivaCucina said...

Sham, I knew you'd get upset about the pie remark, I did too! Who the heck doesn't like pie? Is there something wrong with them?

I think what's her name is a pretty unlikable cow so far anyway as well as stupid for putting sherry in kid's lunches. But I loved the look on her face when Johnny bitch-slapped her with his grandma comment! "What, are ya catching flies, honeypie? Shut yer pie hole!"

When you did your DSS pie a while ago, I said that I think pie making is a lost art in this country. I was not taught to make pies cuz I had no mother (or aunt or grandma or anyone...) but I wonder why so many other people can't make a pie? I was thinking if I couldn't do a standard pie crust, would it have been acceptable to do a cookie crust?

I thought Peppermint Patty was a mess in all her attempts this challenge, it was right she went home.

Syd said...

Yeah, that skidmark on Kenny's plate is...unfortunate.

I'm so not feeling this season. Turned off the TV before somebody got PYKAG'd. Still don't know who lost, but I hope it was Rosie O'Donnell.

Big Shamu said...

You would be right, and Rosie took it like a man which is more than I can say when that little wimp who can't make rice is auffed.

moi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
moi said...

This is one of my most favorite posts of yours, evah. Because you know Moi; I'm all about the sweet stuff.

So I simply must protesteth loudly (and widely) that I do not care where any of these folks Cordon Bleu-ed themselves. What fancy pants name they've given their tres chic, all the rage restaurant. What kind of foam they can whip up out of thin air and some esoteric vegetable.

If they can't make a pie (or, worse yet, don't even LIKE pie), then they do not deserve to be called chefs.

Big Shamu said...

Amen Sister Moi.

Dani said...

Moi said it!

intuitive eggplant said...

Great post, Shamy. And great response, Moi. 'Nuff said. Except thanks to every one of you in the little corner of the blogosphere where I dwell for your high spirits and grand snark today.

P.S. Can I stop by for a slice of that peach pie? I'll bring a side dish . . .

Making Space said...

Moi, you said it all there. I agree.

Hmmm... In reverence for your comment I may soon take a day off from wearing Crocs.

Boxer said...

I loved the smackdown to the comment "I'm not a pastry chef" and the answer "My grandmother can make a pie." Good lord, where they lowering themselves to make a decent dessert?

Everyone knows I'm not a big cook, but guess what? Yeah, I CAN MAKE A FREAKIN' PIE. They're fun. And super creative.

Hmmmmm Peaches.

moi said...

Making Space: be still my heart.