Friday, March 14, 2008

Real Lesbian World - Chicago

Well, well, well...Top Chef is bringing down the lesbian house for Season 4. Being a Sapphic Sister myself (or, as that wonderfully witty wag Charlus puts it "Moby Dickless"), one might think I'm doing the Ellen dance of joy. Sorry my little crack monkeys, unlike me, my dancing shoes are still in the closet.

A big chunk of the pre-show buzz has been about our three out and open gals. Last night during the eat and greet, the big announcement was that Zoi and Jen were not only a couple, but didn't know they had both been chosen for the show until the last minute. This leads me to believe that those magical Top Chef elves may fear that their show has jumped the proverbial shark. How else can one explain playing that tried and true, Howard Stern goldplated card for ratings doldrums (men ages 16 - 60) but lesbians. And not just any lesbians, but lesbians in love. Or at least in love right now. My mind is reeling with questions.Do they get to sleep together? Use the bathroom together? What about the "No Touching" Rule that is supposed to prevent the exchange of...ideas back and forth?
Thanks Spike, we somehow knew that about you.

Now that we are galloping down the lady couple lane of the rainbow highway, what other announcements can we expect from our dykey duo?
Don't get me wrong. I've loved all the past contestants who were lesbians. I'm sure I'll love these ladies. And all drama aside, they both appear to be talented chefs. In the end, that's what it's all about. I just wish Bravo wasn't so...gimicky. So poised for drama. Someone is going to have to explain to me what it's got to do with the food.


The Troll said...

Who is the third "out" lesbian on this season's show? Don't worry about your closing thought. Tom will explain "It's all about the Food" at least 24 times before the season closes.


aqua said...

well, maybe bravo is prepping for a spin-off show with Jen and Zoi after they get knife packed. A show similar to say Giada's traveling food show and they're going to call it something like "LESBIANS EATING OUT"

Charlus said...

But, hon, you know Bravo is going to make the two little lesbian crack monkeys dance to the, er, organ grinder's tune. Did you see that Zoi and Jen are getting their own blog on the Bravo-affiliated You will work as a couple, compete as a couple, and blog as a couple, jawohl! Sometimes, the only l word for these shenanigans is "lame."

The Big Shamu said...

Oy, missed the blogging couple announcement. Squeeze those lesbians for every last drop.

Organ grinding. Very nice. I think we have our next blog....

thombeau said...

Brings to mind all the queeny bitchiness you know Bravo was hoping for with all the gays on PR. Never really happened!

Anonymous said...

But lesbians never grind organs....Do they??

Happy late Erin go braless
day...Sinfully sumptuous
your culinary treatise was.

All I godda' say is

Thanks gals.
You fraggle rock!
Or as Andrew would
verbosely and robustly

You m*fkin' rock.
I think he might think lesbians m*fkin' rock also.

Kristy.... swamp princess and foodgasmic-aholic.

Make mine multiple everythings.

yawningdog said...

What is with the Faux-Hawks? Is it just a Top Chef thing, I have never seen anyone in real life sporting one.