Thursday, February 3, 2011

This is not a Test...

This is a Level One Alert of the Federal Emergency Culinary Evaluation System. The following QuickFire Challenge has been identified as the Most Bogus Quickfire challenge in Top Chef history. For evidentiary purposes we submit the following:










Further research has determined that this man...

...Isaac McCrazyeyes doesn't know squadoosh about culinary plate appeal...

ashtray

...because extensive testing has determined ashtray plating disgusts 96% of Adults (female and male) aged 18 - 65.

The Federal Emergency Culinary Evaluation System has now placed Top Chef All Stars on it's Danger to Diners Watch List. Please stay tuned for further developments.

7 comments:

Buzz Kill said...

Good call on worst Quickfire EVER. Shameless promotion of a Bravo Fashion show (I guess that's what it was). How humiliating for the chefs to have to be judged by an insane Liberace who obviously knows nothing about food (worse than the tennis player).

You'll create a dish but it won't be judge on taste. What? And Blaise got immunity for this. What next? Create a dish that a bunch of bitchy housewives can spit at each other. Shameless.

froggy said...

Oh. Noes!!! They wouldn't!! Would they?? Bring the Housewives of Whatever City onto *our* show?

And, I agree, that was awful. At least, they should have tasted the food. My brother works with a food stylist and it is bletch-worthy what they can do to make food tasty.

Big Shamu said...

Buzz I swear to dog, they are working my last nerve. Frankly this challenge was more appropriate for Bravo's Work of Art.

Froggy, I think some of the Whores have already visited Top Chef. Not All Stars but yeah, they've been on.

Unborn Twin Fawns anyone?

froggy said...

"Unborn Twin Fawns anyone?"

I wonder... is that a dish some place?

Big Shamu said...

Here in KC it is.
http://tomandlorenzo2.blogspot.com/2010/08/work-of-art-finale.html

MakingSpace said...

Ha - interesting - I don't watch TV and especially not Bravo, so I totally missed the, err, cross-marketing/show-pimping aspect of this.

I thought Mizrahi was funny, but again I don't see him elsewhere, so...

Shamy wins for Best Photochop Of A Quickfire Dish.

I don't think I hated this Quickfire as much as y'all did, but honestly I think that's because I don't generally understand the food they cook anyway. :slinksbackunderrock:

Except I can't tear my eyes away from the cigarettes now. Hahahaha

Melissa said...

ready?

I liked this Quickfire.

There have been times when I have gotten a plate that was almost too pretty to eat...I thought of it that way. And I liked the different way of approaching the food.

That being said, duh! While they wouldn't be judged on taste, it should have at least been something EDIBLE. My kid made that Giving Tree diorama crap in First Grade. And you know my infant children were able to smear Sh*T around on a plate.

And that winning dish? Vom! Sham - I think your ciggy butts/photo chop-mad-skills IMPROVE it. It looks like crap I pulled out of a plastic container that was forgotten in the back of my fridge.