Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fondue Quickfire

Apparently we're supposed to visit the Seventies for a little melty cheese trip down memory lane with a Fondue Quickfire. In the interest of accuracy I feel some further exploration is needed.

Eagle themed kitchens were popular

Avocado was more familiar as a color choice than as a something you eat

Spice racks were often made by sons in wood shop class (again with the eagle)

Tupperware ruled the Jello Mold Market

Kids didn't go off to college with computers but with flipping popcorn poppers

So I have to say 2010 fondue pots are kinda boring and industrial. The chefs have to make the fondue more modern than your typical Seventies melted cheese and bread fondue offerings. The Twist? The chefs will judge themselves, each will vote for a best fondue and a worst fondue and no one can vote for themselves. Will they be honest or will someone try and tear down a front runner. Let's all light our Sterno!

Can you guess whose station this is?

Mike tells us that fondue parties are gay....or make you gay...or make you want to be gay...I don't know, he's not too clear on the specifics.

Dale takes a page out of Richard's Word Play book and makes a Pho-due. Now I'm not sure of the rules but there appears to be a lot of pre-cooking going on which kinda defeats the whole purpose of fondue of cooking it in the little pot. No matter, their thirty minutes are up, time to stick it in the 'Due.

Looks like Mike is getting his gay fondue vibe on with his Chablis and rainbow tat (also very Seventies). That is one powerful accent Fabio is laying down if he can score with both men and the ladies. Time to taste the results.

I had to include these two shots....because certain followers of the blog will beg like hungry puppies if I don't. So there they are. Hope you're happy, Dorothy Snarker and MS. You won't mind if the rest of us finish with the post, do you?

Antonia is horrified to learn the voting won't be in secret since each chef has a ballot with their name on it. She needn't have worried. However it seems that Fabio, Tiffany and Mike are on the bottom. Yes, I said it, Mike is on the bottom for the gay fondue challenge.

You just can't make some people happy.

Dale wins it with his Pho-Due and a three day trip to Napa...hopefully without Mike. Mercifully the Fondue Quickfire is over.


froggy said...

Luckily my parents lived in company housing, grand old 20s built homes with butler's pantries (no butler, drat) and leaded glass and big open, white kitchens. Never did live in a 70s kitchen.

Where on earth did they come up with this challenge? I'd almost forgotten about fondue!

Big Shamu said...

Seriously Froggy, can a jello challenge be next???

froggy said...

Was trying to think of another 70s food trend - space sticks! My brother and I actually ate those things.

Big Shamu said...

I had to google that one.....Froggy what did they taste like? They don't look too.....appetizing.

MakingSpace said...

First of all, thank you for taking Mike's "gay fondue parties" and turning it into something funny, this is a public service to my household since you just kept my head from actually exploding.


Third, I damn well finished reading the post. Hmph.

I want that avocado crock pot, majorly want it. I'm gonna make Ro-tel dip in it.

froggy said...

They came in 'flavors' like peanut butter, caramel and chocolate - and as I recall they tasted like the essence of those flavors and a texture just this close to being dry but not.

Big Shamu said...

MS, you can't fool me, your whole kitchen is going to be papered with Padma Shots.

I'm pretty sure I can get you ten of those crock LEAST!

Froggy, you know they still make them and sell them. In case you get a hankering.

MakingSpace said...

It will do me no good to paper my kitchen with Padma shots when my ten 70s-era crock pots sent my entire house up in flames. Please.

Didn't these freaks of producers have a challenge this season where the chefs had to cook with no utensils? I'd think a jello challenge would be a dreamy one compared to that. (Could they use Dream Whip? Another 70s favorite - like Cool Whip but you whip it up yourself so it feels like you made whipped cream - booyaa)

Dani said...

***laughing my ass off***

Buzz Kill said...

My mom had the jello mold with about 6 different designs. She also liked to "suspend" fruit cocktail in the middle of it. We also had a crockpot but it was the orange kind. I think we may have had the popcorn popper but I know we did a lot of jiffy pop popcorn too.

I think the next challenge should be rice crispy treats. I'll have to watch this episode again because Padma was saying some dirty little girl things when thos pictures were taken.

Did you photoshop her front teeth or is that chocolate? Bwahahahaha

Dani said...

OMG!!! Fruit cocktail in the jello! It always reminded me of that head cheese stuff they sell in the deli.

Big Shamu said...

That my friend Buzz, is an unPhotoshopped photo of Padma getting her Nitro Chocolate on. Not as good as her Hardee's commercial but pretty nice none the less.

Big Shamu said...

Jello Salad. Ah yes. I seem to remember one my great aunt would do at big family gatherings that involved mini marshmallows, coconut, cherries and whole lotta Cool Whip mixed into the Jello. That much sugar you know we kids ate that UP!

Syd said...

You nailed the 70s trends. Unfortunately, there are WAY too many kitchens around here that still look like that.

Buzz Kill, I forgot about the fruit suspended in jello. Did your mom also make it in parfait glasses when she felt fancy? My mom loved her a parfait.

Buzz Kill said...

@Syd - No, the jello/fruit cocktail thing was a fancy as she got. She did have a tupperware popsickle mold that she would put cool aid in.

chickory said...

mom: please understand. I like fruit. and i like jello. but i dont like fruit IN jello.

and i dont like TC having these dopey challenges around famous people. tennis players, gangstas, jimmy fallon, and next muppets?

i never saw anybody who could turn their mouth into a stiff typewriteresque emoticon like richard blaise.

ive never had fondue.

Big Shamu said...

Chickory, how do you feel about Paula Deen?