Family Fuel

Having finished with our fruit salads, we now proceed to the Elimination Challenge of this episode. As Kelly first describes it, it sounds kinda fun, update and modernize a family meal. However real American family meals and real American families just aren't sexy enough so someone had the bright idea of feeding the cast and crew of the TV show Modern Family.

Really? Cooking for an American family in 2010 is best expressed by cooking for a 125 member cast and crew of a TV show shot in Hollywood? I know when my mom cooked for my family, she would have the toughest time getting me to come out of my air conditioned trailer to sit with my brother, the lighting grip, while the food was still hot. Can you say out of touch? So now we've taken something potentially interesting and turned it into a catering steam tray challenge and nothing about family at all. Must be time to go shopping.

On the bright side I'm beginning to get one of those chef crushes on Jody. Not only does she help chefs shorter than herself...

...but she also asks to taste the bacon she wants to buy!!

Whatta woman.

Why does this woman look so happy? Pork Belly my friends, pork belly. A giant slab of pork belly.

Back at the kitchen, we learn that Susur is still steaming from his disastrous Quickfire score. He puts a quick call into the wife to whine. Mrs. Susur will have none of it and immediately tells him to pull his head out of his ass and MOVE FORWARD!

Gotta love when the Chef of the Millennium gets good advice from home. Of course she's got 3 teen-aged boys so that might have a little something to do with it.

Ratcheting up the Sassy Kitchen Wench quotient is Jody again. She's trying to describe her frustration of cooking for 1 1/2 hours only to stop and start again the next day. Let's just say she feels like it's Cooking Interruptus.

You have to watch those gingers, they will surprise you.

Ladies and Gentlemen, start your STEAM-TRAYS

.

There you have it. Hollywood Family food. Feh. The cast mostly liked the food. Although there is a mystery. Debbie Gold kinda got screwed by one of her co-chefs who dropped her Pork Belly on the floor the night before thereby rendering it unusable. So what ever she had planned suddenly she had to switch into Plan B. We'll just call it The Ballad of the Lost Pork Belly. On top of that we have The Spoiler. Plenty of people caught it, even I caught it standing at the watch party. They (who ever produces the previews for the next week) included this in the preview commercial.

This preview ran before the final judging had happened on the show. So much for the drama of Judge's Table. It may seem picky to point this out but if you only knew just how tightly the reins are held on the many folks who participate in the money making bonanza that is the Top Chef franchise, you'd think something as simple as not flashing the winning chef before he's won would be a piece of cake. In the grand scheme of life it matters not a bit but it does seem very sloppy. And if I hadn't already been fired up about that, then there was this guy to work my last nerve.

I'm all for passion and confidence. Smug superiority is not exactly something that resonates with me. Rick apparently thought he had it in the bag during his first appearance at Judges Table. Even worse was his attitude in the stew room. He begins to lecture other chefs on the whole "Master Chef" title. Then he starts demonstrating his knife skills on a radish...

...again telling the other chefs "...you need to practice". Now I know what games the editors can play with a big pile of stew room video but it certainly seemed like Rick was setting that Top Chef Master mantle on his shoulders just a little prematurely. What Rick didn't realize is that Karma still had a hand to play and that hand was full of stars.

Not only did he win the last spot to the Champions Round he was a half a point away from a perfect 20 score and that last half star was in the diners score. The three critics gave him a perfect score of 15 stars.

Not exactly the scenario Chef Tramonto had envisioned.

Next up, Top Chef Masters Wedding Wars (a little Bridezilla anyone?)

Food Pornolicious

Meet the chefs competing for the last chance of making it to the next level of Top Chef Masters. From left to right we have Sunsur Lee, Debbie Gold, Rick Tramonto, Maria Hines, and Jody Adams.

It's a strange thing to be a blogger attending a public event which involves the subject in which you blog about. Strange things happen. Like wanting to tell the open bar trough drinkers to stop their loud chattering...don't you know the SHOW is on? While there was plenty of cheering for the hometown fav, there was a surprising cheer that erupted when the guest judge for the Quickfire was announced. What was even more surprising was that loud cheering and clapping came from me. (Note to self, if you want to be the fly on the wall, whooping and fist pumping is not the best way to be invisible).

That's right, a food photographer. Not just any food photographer. If you watched any of the past seasons of Top Chef from Miami on, you've seen his work.

This fish portrait is one of my most favorite food porn shots ever.

I love the way the tension in the curve of the body makes the viewer feel like the fish is alive and about to flop right out of the photo, I love the highlights glinting off the fish that repeat in the little puddles of water on the counter top. I'm amazed at how just a little sharp focus in the tail draws your eye down into that photo. What chef doesn't see that and not immediately start wanting to break that beautiful fish down and make an incredible dish with it? I am a huge fan of Stephen's work and I'm not ashamed to say his photography has had a definite influence on my own meager food porn efforts. If there was one Quickfire where the taste didn't fully blow out the rest of the judging criteria, this was it. The challenge was simple enough, make a fruit plate presentation.



Perfectly styled. Do the chefs listen to this? Do they think about the people they are serving the food to? Probably not because the twist to this challenge just sprang from Kelly's mouth and that it's a High Stakes Quickfire and the winner automatically moves on to the Champions Round. Dayumn. Let's hope we don't see anything like this class food porn.

A symphony of red and green textures and patterns and bloody clots of food.

Debbie's Deep Fried Pecan Stuffed Fig with Persimmon and Tangerine.
Looks a little monochromatic with the browns and yellows and the little dabs of herbs look lifeless.

Rick's Herb and Fruit Shooters.
The judges called it playful. It's not my style, too busy and I hate the inspirational cards. It's a food competition not a Hallmark commercial.

Jody's Fig & Walnut Tart with Pomegranate Syrup and Zabaglione
I like this plate, going from dark to light and a nice mix of color.

Susur's East Meets West Fruit Plate with Blackberry Ravioli and Thai Basil
WOW.
That is all.

Maria's Northwest Trio of Apple Soup, Grilled Fig & Berries with Berry Mousse

I thought for sure this was the winner. Simple tastes and visually opening that fig up to draw the eye to what you want them to taste first. However the second judge for this Quickfire and one of the few judges I find myself agreeing with most often, Gail Simmons, said she was confused why these elements were on the plate together. How that criticism is applied here but not on Rick's or Jody's plate leaves me scratching my head. In fact I totally misjudged the outcome. Maria only got 3 stars from the judges, ahead of only Susur's dish. The winner with 4 stars was...

Damn right she's got Jazz Hands, she's going to the Champions Round

Kansas City Top Chef Masters Watch Party

Have you ever taken a test. I'm sure you have. Have you taken one of those life changing tests, bar exam, medical boards, maybe a mechanical engineers PE exam? Now imagine that you will be filmed while taking that exam. You will be asked about your answers. Once you're done, you will be graded and that grade will be revealed to you, while you are being filmed. You think it's over and your can digest the results in private. No. That experience will be shown to a national audience and you can say nothing about how well or poorly you did and and now you must share the stress and the mistakes you made on your test with family, friends and supporters. I imagine that's what was going through Debbie Gold's head while she greeted her guests at her Top Chef Masters Watch Party at the American in Kansas City on Wednesday night.

Debbie and her daughter Misha

As soon as the words "I'd much rather be home watching a movie" were spoken to the assembled 200 or so guests I knew she had not won and feared that she had pulled a Rick Moonen and left food off the plate. I was glad to be wrong about the second part but sad about being right about the first. Still Debby's fans seem to have a fabulous time eating, drinking, and cheering their favorite chef into the wee hours of the night.

Some of Debbie's very young kitchen crew.

The beautiful ceiling of the American.

Debbie on the HUMONGOUS screen.

You know me, I'm all about the food and definitely all about shooting the food but unfortunately I was totally stymied by 2 issues, the crowd in the cramped quarters but even worse was the dimmed lighting. I did manage to get this shot of a table full of food. Actually it's mostly a table full of pork with a giant bowl of pork rinds I couldn't stop eating, copious amounts of prosciutto, some mini corn dogs on bamboo skewers, and some incredible smoked sausages.

Add to that some damned good chicken drumettes and some spicy boiled (?) peanuts that were just as addictive as the pork rinds. As you can imagine the platters emptied out quickly. There was also a dessert table with plates of little jellied niblets.

But really I couldn't do them photographic justice under the circumstances so I asked the wonderful women running the show for a doggie box so that I could take them home and caress them with my digital fingers in leisure.

Ahhhhh, now that's some photographic love. It was a wonderful night and a good time was had by all. I only wish it had been one in a series of Kansas City Watch Parties.

UP NEXT: Let's Get Fruity.

Karmic Dilemma

This giant foodie Orca is faced with a mighty Karmic Dilemma. You see my little Top Chef Crack Monkeys, Top Chef Masters is about to hurtle back into our lives with Season Two. They just announced the lineup of 22 Master Chefs and I have to admit it's a pretty fantastic group. I thought I had my Fav to win it all picked out and ready to go......that's right, long time Shamu Chef Crush, Susan Feniger. A 30 year veteran of opening and running successful restaurants, writing cookbooks, starring as half of the Too Hot Tamales back before the Food Network went stupid. Why she even rocked the Chef Fauxhawk back in the day.How could I not pick her to win? Well....

...meet Chef Debbie Gold, Executive Chef of the American Restaurant, located in Shamu's own backyard. Oh holy hell, now what? I'm a big fan of Chef Gold's work both at the American and her former restaurant, 40 Sardines. What the heck am I going to do?

Don't worry Gail, as long as you're at the Judges Table, all will be right in our world.

In this corner we have Wily Veteran of the Restaurant, Television, and Radio worlds. She stands about 5' 4" in orange Chuck Taylors. Her first restaurant, the tiny City Cafe, only had room for a hot plate inside and a hibachi out back. Was voted Finest Lesbian Chef in the world by Out Traveler magazine. Is versed in many global cuisines. Best reason to throw the Karmic Kitchen Mojo behind her efforts to become the Top Chef Master? She gives fantastic TV and I'm a friend on her Facebook. (Along with a thousand other people.) People, nobody ever said that common sense, reason or expertise go into these picks .

And in this corner we have a local favorite and winner of a James Beard award in 1999. Have actually eaten at her two restaurants, The American Restaurant and 40 Sardines. Food was fantastic and if I had more cash and a better wardrobe, The American would see a lot more of me. A single mom whose culinary tree appears to be American with deep French roots. Looks like this is her first venture into the madness that is Food TV. Best reason to be Debbie Gold's Top Chef Master's Bitch? Possible Watch Parties at the American. (how cool would it to eat a chef's food while watching her compete on Top Chef Masters)

So in the interest of fairness I will do what all smart people do when faced with this kind of dilemma....let someone else decide by running a poll.

Who should Shamu pick as her favorite to win Top Chef Masters, Season 2?
	Go with the Wily Veteran Susan Feniger, she writes to you every day on Facebook
	Debbie Gold, you might actually have a chance to talk to her in person before Bravo finds out
	Don't you realize Ludo Lefebvre is back, slice off a hunk of that Crazy French Cheese
pollcode.com free polls

OK party people, help an Orca out and vote. And if Susan or Debbie feels like they can influence the voting by leaving a comment...well they can. I'm easy like that.