Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Cutting the Cord


Remember this? I don't. I still haven't watched the finale. Just downloaded the episode off of ITunes today but only because I downloaded an app called Finger Cut for my ITouch (an app that let's you be a cutter without the pain, infection or scars). I'll probably never watch that episode. However my disgust with TV went even further than that. I'm not only done with Top Chef, I'm done with Masters, Bravo, hell I chucked cable all together.


It was a long time coming but the DouchToad Finalists of Top Chef All Stars were the straws that broke my TV's back. No more. No more Swamp People. No more Housewives. Paula Deen and her Ten Tons of Buttery Fun will have to seek elsewhere to find buyers for her wares. My cable representative was not happy. It wasn't like I was a huge customer anyway. I never bought into the HD hype because again, do I really want to see Swamp People in HD? I think not. So my package was fairly meager to begin with but that didn't stop the cable pimper from trying her darnedest. "Well, if it's a matter of money you could get our most basic lineup..." This pissed me off because you can get over the air HD basic if you buy an antenna from Radio Shack and pay once instead of paying the cable company twenty bucks a month for those "free" channels which wouldn't be in HD anyway. She tried another tact, "Perhaps if you upgraded to the HD package?" So now she wants me to pay more for even more crap shows and box rentals? I politely declined. Finally I convinced her that I was a heretic and quite serious about no longer paying them any of my hard earned money.

Of course it didn't stop the Cable Company representatives from calling my house every day, sometimes twice a day for the next week (thank you caller ID) to try and lure me back. But here's the other thing. TV made me a zombie. I have a ton of cookbooks I want to read and explore. There are some fantastic restaurants here in KC I want to visit. It's Year Two of the Backyard Garden Experiment which in reality will only work if I break out the lumberjack flannel and cut down half a tree to get more sunlight to my garden plot.

That's not to say there won't be some things I'll miss from Pay TV.

NCIS marathons.

Robot Chicken

Aqua Teen Hunger Force
(Holy crap, am I a twenty one year old computer nerd trapped in a 50 year old lesbian's body???)

So what am I watching instead? Apparently I've gone back in time. It's a happy place that I suspect many in our country would like to go back to...

...when people had maids who wore sensible shoes and were named Hazel. A time and place where Sally Field did more than pimp Boniva....

...she rode a beach board and called herself Gidget only to follow that up by...

...by riding a nun's habit into the skies of Puerto Rico.

A time when kids played outside and had lots of energy without being labeled hyperactive.

This does not mean I've given up foodie tv, it's just limited to PBS. Or until certain folks decide that killing the Muppets on Sesame Street is in the best interests of the country.





I think I'll be ok.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

Wow! You did cut it! and that does take strength, too. no kidding. And the programming on KCPT is great...I watch it in the evenings when I make dinner in the kitchen...urgh...did you know we have 10 TVs? All plugged in and working? I am suddenly feeling bad about myself in comparison to your stand. I am weak....

ahem! Back to you!!! I am truly impressed and looking forward to the brilliance that ensues!!!!!

froggy said...

I did this once. It was after the OJ trial and I had gotten hooked.
Obviously we went back, to a dish, and we are one of the hive.

Good luck with being hiveless!!

Big Shamu said...

Ten TVs?? Yes, that's definitely more than I have. Only two - hooked up. I have an old small one stuffed away in a closet somewhere. TWC must adore you. However if I fall and break something in my attempts to cut down half a tree, I'll be calling around for something more substantial to watch.

Seriously Froggy, do I need to watch ten thousand hours of the Royal Wedding?

froggy said...

Well, maybe, only 9,999 hours. Once I see The Dress my interest will wane.

MakingSpace said...

Woot! You'll do great with Lidia and Christopher. Yum.

NO MUPPET KILLING. Just sayin.

Syd said...

Holy shit. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

Big Shamu said...

I feel like I've broken free of the Borg...

moi said...

Hello, my name is Moi and I'm a television addict. And it kind of sucks.

So let me know how that works for ya.

Big Shamu said...

Tonight, instead of watching Top Chef Masters, I planted a bunch of seeds, many of which I received from Dani. Even pepper seeds....which I'm trying hard to like.

Dani said...

WOW! You GO Girl!

I didn't know at the time that you didn't like peppers. Next seed batch I'll be sure to send you lots of greens instead. :)

Dani said...

We should all do something like this. Maybe not pulling the plug but using the hour we wasted in front of the tv or computer to do something good and productive. Like planting seeds or cooking, and whatever else you're into.

K9 said...

wait. Moses' wife is a vampire?

might i recommend TED. Its a series of talks, lectures, whatevers on the internet. they are very good. Jamie Oliver has a nice one as does Isabel Allende. I loved the one on string theory.

I have a SAT dish. it gets like, 800 channels. its rare there is something i want to see.

enjoy the cookboooks!

Big Shamu said...

Tonight I broke out the Wii Bitch and boxed a bit.

Thanks K-9, I will check out TED.

Yes, Moses's wife ended up a vampire...a very cute vampire.