Friday, September 18, 2009

Are You a Loyal Top Chef Fan?

If you watched this last episode, you saw a new little twist to the Quickfire. An audience participation twist. That is you could participate if you happened to be on Bravo's website and stumbled upon this poll during the last season of Top Chef. Apparently enough of you did because you helped choose what the Quickfire Ingredient would be used for this episode.Why you didn't pick snake is beyond me but that's a post for another day. What fascinates me is that it made it sound like they did it live when in fact this episode was filmed months ago. But the funniest thing about this was Padma's sulky explanation that "To reward our many loyal fans, for the first time in six seasons we've given them the chance to pick today's Quickfire ingredient....57% of the vote went to cactus" Reward?? Seriously, did she say reward their loyal fans??? That's it? Oh hell to the no she didn't.

Let's review. Six seasons of Top Chef, one season of Top Chef Masters. As a loyal fan, my cohort and I started blogging at the offseason after the end of Season 1.

We had a thing for Harold Dieterle (still do). We poked fun at judges....
...and producers.
Contestants certainly weren't immune to our photochoppy fingers.

We have a bizarre obsession with Pirates and Monkeys.

We suffered through the Curse of Season Two and the Plague of Gates (Lycee, Toothbrush, Clipper).
We even have a lingering mystery.
Who did this for their audition tape? (Shamu's money is on Hung)

We come back season after season. Why? Because we're Top Chef Crack Monkeys. We bitch, we complain, we moan but we always watch. So I think it's pretty safe to say we're loyal fans. So if you think we're even because you gave us the opportunity to spend 99¢ to text in our vote to choose between snake, cactus or kangaroo, you are in serious need of rehab. You know what that covers? One episode of watching any asshat who cared more about what was on his head than what was on the plate. Or maybe 5 instances of Tom saying something isn't seasoned properly. It sure as hell doesn't come close to even for making us watch this doofus.So when you're serious about rewarding loyal fans we'll be right here. Wearing our "It's Not Crap on a Plate" t-shirt and fiddling with our conch dicker. Waiting. For our Reward. Or Godot. (Not that it matters because we suspect the results will the same.)


MakingSpace said...

But you're not bitter or anything... ROFL

Big Shamu said...

Cactus, Snake or Kangaroo. My reward.
Bitter? Just a bit.

MakingSpace said...

You could have texted in a write-in vote for squirrel. Just sayin.

Captain Obvious said...

Captain America is not Hung.

If you saw his pre-show interview on Bravo's site back during S3, he didn't even know auditions were taking place across the street from Restaurant Guy Savoy(where he was working) in Las Vegas. He went over right before they ended the interviews and interviewed with them.

Big Shamu said...

You'll have to do better than that Captain Obvious. Just because Hung did a last minute audition does not mean they didn't ask him to go back and make an audition tape. Which he did and which they showed clips from on the 7th episode of Season Three (Watch What Happens). Don't forget the infamous "I would date guys or girls" quote from that tape.

Now, if you've go info on who Captain Quick Chopper really is I'd love to hear it.

LaDivaCucina said...

Aaaa ahahaha! Sham, you've out done yourself! Love seeing "crybaby" as Atlantis EL Sireno! (I'm so bad at remembering their names!)

This is hilarious! (and so are the labels!)

moi said...

Cactus? Please. The things grow like weeds, wreck havoc on the dogs' paws, and taste like paste. But kangaroo? Now THAT'S an ingredient.

Anonymous said...

Captain Obvious says:

That interview that you saw where he said he'd go both ways was at the casting can tell he was answering a question that somebody asked.

Big Shamu said...

So Cap't are you saying Hung made no audition tape at all, before or after his casting interview?

Big Shamu said...

Because if it's not Hung then I'd have to say it was Brian Malarkey.

Big Shamu said...

Would you like to confirm that Captain America?