Girl Power

The call came a little after midday. Yes, there were still reservations left for the event tonight, now if you just give me your credit card information...

Which is how I found myself here, a golf community north of Kansas City. Not really my stomping grounds but when you get an opportunity to get to eat a six course meal prepared by two of your most favorite chefs in all the Top Chef shows? Get the camera ready baby, because Carla Hall and Antonia Lofaso are in Kansas City.

Girl Power indeed. Night two of a two night event of food and Top Chef chatter. Cocktails started off the night in the spacious National Clubhouse. Not a huge event, ten tables of eight and no table was filled out. Since I had made my reservation so late and couldn't get anyone to go with me, I was beginning to worry that I was going to be at a table alone. Happily Emily and Dino made reservations just as late as me.

How cute are they? Not to mention they're Top Chef freaks, run a restaurant and Emily has a girl-crush on Antonia. Good food, good company, gorgeous setting and Top Chef gossip, does it get any better? Let's check out the first course.

Antonia started off the meal with a Hamachi crudo, crispy rice, mizuna, with miso vinaigrette. A bold dish to serve to folks in Kansas City, a place steeped in stockyard and meat on the hoof history. Not that anyone at my table minded since we all enjoy sushi so the hamachi was a welcome starter. Still trying to figure out how Antonia did the crispy rice because it was a nice little crunchy treat on top of that flavorful hamachi. And BONUS, both Carla and Antonia help bring plates to the table.

Our second course was a salad course.

Another bold choice by Carla since so many people reject eating beets right off the bat. An Asparagus, Golden Beet & Shitake salad with a Tarragon Dill Vinaigrette and a quenelle of goat cheese boursin. The chefs come out after each course is served and talk a little bit about the dish. Carla gave us a little taste of spring, especially with the asparagus. The general consensus at our table is that it was a great salad especially since the beets didn't have that distinctive beet flavor. It didn't last long on the plate.

This photo is part of Antonia's next course. This is some sweet shrimp and matchstick apples. Now....I don't have a photo of the whole dish but I have a really good excuse. See, they plated the shrimp and apples and then came around with hot pitchers of Curried Cauliflower Soup and poured it over the shrimp and frankly when the smell of the soup hit my nostrils all thought of grabbing a photo left my brain. I know it's spring but this is a soup that would be great on a fall afternoon and we did everything but lick our bowls clean. Check out the recipe at the end of the post. Bravo Antonia!

Next up is Carla's Grilled Halibut with Ramps, Pickled Fennel and roasted Sunchoke Pesto. When Carla talked about this dish, it sounded like it was still a dish in progress. The fish was cooked well and the sunchoke pesto was interesting but I still think the dish needs a little oomph.

Antonia's Lamb Loin, Fennel Butter, Brussel Sprouts and Blue Bacon Salad. This dish, more than any other dish on the menu, gives us a chance to eat a dish the chefs prepared on the show. Or at least intended to serve on the show. This is the dish that Antonia planned to serve to royalty had a fire not happened in the restaurant. It's a pretty good dish and certainly sounds better than the shrimp and grits she did eventually make. Even my table-mate Emily who doesn't like lamb, enjoyed this dish.

Carla finishes up the night with a Strawberry Rhubarb Meringue Tart with Lime Basil Coulis. I love lime so this is right up my ally. The only problem is that the tart base could have been a tad more tender but it didn't stop me from eating it all.

Now that the chefs are done with kitchen duty, it was time for a little Q & A. We got to hear about future plans which for Antonia include writing a cookbook for busy working moms trying to make good food on a tight schedule and budget. Carla shared her exciting news of being part of The Chew, who along with Mario Batali and Michael Symon will be taking on daytime TV (and killing ABC's soaps along the way). Both Carla and Antonia's favorite episode, hands down, was the fishing episode because they had so much fun. Carla's least favorite episode (aside from the one she was eliminated on) was the Target challenge mainly because the cameramen COULD NOT KEEP UP WITH CARLA. After a demonstration on just how fast Carla is, she's right, I'm sure she left them in Target dust. They also shared a funny story about one of the dishes for that challenge and how one chef thought he was coming up with an incredibly unique dish but when he shared his idea with Carla and Antonia they were flabbergasted. The dish? Baked potato soup which any number of chain restaurants have been doing for years but really a bit of good luck for Carla because Angelo went home instead of her. The chefs shared another amusing moment that revealed a little bit of the behind the scene production issues. Carla and Antonia were asked to sing the Beef Tongue Song.

The only reason the Beef Tongue song even happened was that when Antonia gets nervous, she sings to herself. In real life, this is not a problem but on a syndicated show like Top Chef, the moment a recognizable song is uttered, for it to make it on air, the right's holders to that song must be paid. So all the songs Antonia came up with to sing away her nervousness had to be original in nature. Enter Carla and Angelo, co-writers of the Beef Tongue Song and Hello I-Tunes downloads and one of the most fun moments in Top Chef history.

We discovered, while as horrific as it was for us seeing Mike in swim trunks, was nothing in comparison to seeing it live, proving once again that while you can choose your friends, you cannot choose your family. I'm pretty sure finding out Mike was her cousin was not the Elimination Prize Antonia was hoping for. We also discovered that Padma is a warmer, more approachable person since the birth of her baby (while I did enjoy Antonia's description of Padma's eating habits as more in line with that of a long haul trucker). However after hearing the three restaurants Carla and Antonia hit up in a two hour period here in Kansas City, they apparently were doing their best Padma imitation. Two bbq joints (Arthur Bryants and Oklahoma Joe's) and one burger joint (Blanc Burgers) is a whole lot of meat to consume before a big night of cooking.
Finally the questions were done and the chefs graciously allowed any and all who wanted their photos taken to be accommodated. Which means Emily's girl-crush fantasy is fulfilled.

I have to say at the end of the night, Carla and Antonia were exactly what I thought they'd be like. Carla is funny and entertaining and apparently seems to be the only chef who seems to find the good in everyone. Antonia is honest, warm and engaging and I certainly hope she finds success as a result of her time on Top Chef. I'm sad that neither one of them won Top Chef All Stars but I believe their triumphant spirits will take them further than winning the title ever could.

Antonia Lofaso -- Curried Cauliflower Soup with Sweet Shrimp, Apples, Cilantro
Serves 4 people

Thinly slice half onion and sweat, no color.
Rough chop 1 head cauliflower and add to onions allow to sweat.
Add 4 t curry powder and allow to bloom.
Peel 2 apples, remove seeds, rough chop and add to sweat mixture, approx 10 minutes.
Cover with 3/4 cream and 1/4 chicken stock simmer, season with salt and pepper, blend.

Dry 16 pieces of sweet shrimp, season, salt and pepper, dust with all purpose flour.
In a hot sauté pan with about 2 T peanut oil, sauté shrimp.
Garnish soup with sautéed sweet shrimp and julienne Fuji apple garnish with micro cilantro and cilantro oil.

For cilantro oil....
2 bunches cilantro blanched, refreshed and blended with 2 cups peanut oil, strained thru cheesecloth and sieve.

Carla Hall -- Asparagus, Golden Beet and Shiitake Salad
goat cheese boursin, tarragon dill vinaigrette
serves 4

1 bunch asparagus
1 pound golden beets
8 ounces shiitake mushroom caps, julienned
¼ cup goat cheese boursin (see recipe below)
1 cup baby arugula
1 recipe tarragon dill vinaigrette (see recipe below)

1. Prepare beets – preheat oven to 400°. Wrap each beet individually in foil and place on sheet pan. Roast beets until they can be easily pierced with a fork, about 45 to 60 minutes. Allow to cool slightly, and peel beets with dry paper towels, then cut them into ½” dice. Toss in vinaigrette.
2. Prepare asparagus – trim the woody asparagus stems by bending them until they break; the asparagus will naturally break where the stem becomes woody. Discard the woody ends. Heat a cast iron skillet then add minimal oil. Sauté asparagus in small batches until browned and just tender, about 2- 3 minutes. Set aside to cool. Cut the asparagus on the bias (at a diagonal) into 1” pieces and toss with lemon zest.
3. Sauté shiitake – sauté mushrooms in hot skillet until browned; season with salt and pepper. Set aside.
4. Putting it all together – arrange beets, asparagus and shiitake on each plate. Dot with small balls of goat boursin. Lightly toss arugula in vinaigrette and top composed salad with greens.

Tarragon-Dill Vinaigrette

Lemon oil
2 cups canola oil
Strips of zest from 1 lemon
1 stalk lemongrass, tough outer layers removed and bottom 4 inches roughly chopped

Vinaigrette
¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice, about 1 lemon
½ teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon tarragon, torn
½ teaspoon dill, snipped
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons tarragon, roughly chopped
¼ cup lemon oil
½ cup olive oil

1. Prepare lemon oil – In a medium heavy saucepan over very low heat, combine oil, lemon peel and lemongrass. Cook, uncovered, until aromatic, about 1 hour. Do not let oil boil. Remove from heat and cool to room temperature. Strain through a mesh strainer into a heatproof container. Cool completely before using. May be stored in an airtight container in refrigerator for up to 4 weeks.)
2. Prepare Vinaigrette – In a medium bowl, whisk together lemon juice, mustard, tarragon, dill, salt, sugar and pepper. Slowly whisk in lemon oil, then olive oil. Adjust seasoning, if necessary.

Goat Cheese Boursin

1 garlic clove, minced
8 ounces goat cheese, at room temperature
4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
3 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon fresh dill
1 tablespoon chives, minced
2 tablespoons parsley, minced
¼ teaspoon black pepper

The Bahamas - More than just a Catch Phrase

I'm sure the moment this challenge was announced the five remaining chefs immediately started thinking about what kind of dishes they could serve that would please royalty. Which is why I could never be on this show because I immediately started thinking about who actually rules the Bahamas (the Queen of England) and what are trade relations like with the United States. I worried that Mike might cause some sort of international incident but I needn't have worried, the only two things that the US and the Bahamas trade seem to be tourists and a place to stash cash in offshore banking. As for the royalty, Tom and Eric Ripert play up the honor and prestige aspects of upcoming meal. Perhaps in a bid to attain their SAG cards. The chefs are then shuttled off to their living quarters (hotel pimpage) for the rest of the season. It is here that we learn that if Richard wins Top Chef All Stars it "...would allow me to open up the restaurant of my dreams." This is an interesting statement considering that Richard has a few restaurant openings under his belt. Blais, his first restaurant lasted roughly six months and lost a lot of money for his investors. The cash prize for winning All Stars is $200,000 which after at least Federal Tax, is probably more like $150,000. I don't know many "restaurant of my dreams" that spring forth from that amount of money. I'm not sure if it even covers decent restaurant appliances. Of the seven Top Chef winners, the first four spent at least two years preparing for their first restaurants, Michael Voltaggio and Hosea Rosenberg are still at the restaurants they worked at before they each won their respective seasons, and Kevin, last season's winner, is in that sort of nether world of cooking demos, speaking engagements and trying to find just the right space for his own restaurant in Philly. And if Richard doesn't win? Hopefully he's won some prize money for some much needed therapy.

The next day finds our chefs with two and half hours of prep time at a fairly decent looking kitchen. They all chatter about how their dish will be refined enough for kings and queens. Except for Mike. Guess who makes a return appearance just in time for the Finale?

This guy. The guy who just can't keep his piehole shut about the women he competes against. Apparently he thinks that Antonia, Carla and Tiffany played it safe to get the final episodes. To which I have to ask....who didn't cook for the Tennis episode? Mike. Who was the disastrous expediter for the Dim Sum Challenge? Mike. Who couldn't cook pasta correctly for the Italian restaurant challenge? Mike. Who stole Richard's dish for a Quickfire? Mike. Who was pretty much a disaster at Restaurant Wars? Mike yet again. I'd be careful little piggie, you never know when Karma might be creeping up on you.

Prep time ends and the chefs are ferried away to their next location with a motorcycle police escort. Because royalty always spends the extra ducats making sure their cooks are also treated like royalty. The chefs ponder what luxurious kitchens might await them at the palace of the royalty.

(Haven't I seen that crown as a dash board air freshener in NY cabs???)

But a street parade with the King of Junkanoo dashes all their hopes of top notch kitchen cooking. Now it also gets kinda creepy or maybe it's just me. You see most of the chefs start rethinking their dishes....but really they start dumbing them down. There's an implied suggestion that the King and his crew would not enjoy the more refined dishes that the chefs originally planned. It's not only the chefs that seem to be saying this but also the production team because the kitchen they've asked the chefs to cook in is not exactly much better than the galley of the Ellis Island Ferry.

Good luck getting five chefs sharing this lone flat top. However the chefs, all being the prize money seeking, attention whores that they are make the best of it and start cooking away. Some more away than others. As Antonia tries deep fat frying her plantains the fryer next to hers starts smoking like a two pack a day person getting off a NY to LA redeye.

This is not like cutting your finger and taping it up and just continuing to cook....this is an Issue. Antonia tries to point out the danger and just as she says it's going to catch fire...

...WHOOSH - it does. Richard puts a half sheet pan over the top but the fire is still going full force underneath. There's a mad dash to save food and the production crew to put out the fire but in the end they evacuate the kitchen and call in the fire department. Now at this point I'm sure the chefs are wondering how to recover from a burned out kitchen and again, I have to point out how poorly I would be prepared because all I could think about was whose insurance would cover the fire damage if the place burned down. What would Bravo do, dip into Andy Cohen's Liquid Refreshment budget from Watch What Happens?

The fire is contained but the food is totally ruined from exposure to the chemicals from the Ansul system.


Tom, in his Royalty Casual red flannel shirt, drops the bad news bomb on the chefs. They will go back to the original prep kitchen, re-prep their dishes, after which the fire kitchen will have been cleaned and prepped for the chefs to cook and plate for the King and Queen. However if they want to change their dishes, they are allowed to totally trash their original dish and go with something else. How they do this on the back end with product I have no idea but it had to have been an extremely long night for everyone. Blais and Antonia decide to junk their dishes and head in another direction. With Prep, Version 2.0 complete, it's back to Twin Brothers restaurant where the deep fat fryers have been replaced with these.


This is not good. You went from 35 gallon capacity, thermostat controlled deep fat fryers to...what? A gallon, at the most? At this point I'm feeling bad for the chefs. It's not that they had to deal with a fire because restaurant kitchen fires happen a lot more than many of us realize. They don't always burn down the kitchen (unlike those timely, all consuming, owner deep in debt restaurant fires) but they do happen. Ask Top Chef alums, Stephanie Izard and Dale Levitski. Watching the chefs and the crew deal with it was surprising for the fact that it took eight seasons for it to finally happen. But still, it's the Finale, twists like sad kitchen equipment has been done to death. Plus it bites my remaining favorite chef in the ass. Carla, perhaps thinking that a more adequate deep fat fryer would available, did not change up her dish back during Prep, Version 2.0. She's still going to deep fat fry her bacon wrapped pork loin. The results? Rare pork. She tries to save the medallions by quickly searing them on the flat top.

This does not save the pork from being undercooked and worse, served to a reluctant Gail.

Who, I might add, was looking especially lovely, tanned and relaxed for her time in the Bahamas.

Back to the food, Antonia's Shrimp and Grits makes everyone sad that she switched out the lamb she was originally preparing. Mike's Sous Vide Chicken with Lobster Hash finally give the judges a reason to smile.

They also enjoy Richard's Lamb Loin with Mustard Sauce and Turnip Cannelloni.


However Richard apparently does not enjoy his own food. "My food is shit, disgusting." OK so the stress is getting to him back in the kitchen. Maybe he'll chill out later. Tiffany serves last and doesn't seem to get pinged for any major mistakes but is called out for the simplicity of her dish.

The service portion of the long day and night are over but now the chefs have to sweat out Judge's Table. Blais decides to vent his frustration over his own food...again. "I just hate everything I fucking do, that's the point."

Now I don't know if Richard really feels this way about his food or if he was just playing for sympathy or attempting to get the other chefs to reassure him that yes, Richard, we think your food was AWESOME. Whatever the process, here's the result. I wasn't much of a fan of Richard from his season and when given the chance to eat at his restaurant in Atlanta or Kevin Gillespie's restaurant, I went with Kevin. Had a great meal. I have no idea how Richard thinks anyone would find his food appealing after watching and hearing how the chef feels about his own creations. My culinary godmother keeps reminding me that the show isn't a popularity contest when it comes to the food. Valid point but it is a popularity contest back out in the real world. There are any number of star power chefs who may be assholes in real life, may treat their co-workers badly, would like to hang bloggers by their heels but I don't think I've ever heard any of them say they hate everything they do like Richard did to the judges. Judging by Gail's reaction...

...neither had she. Richard's blathering does not give him the win, that went to Mike but he's also not in the bottom three. That honor belongs to Antonia and Carla. They lump Tiffany in there with them but simplicity of a dish won't go home against overcooked fried shrimp and undercooked pork. In the end, Carla just couldn't overcome her poorly cooked loin despite all the love she put into her food. While she leaves Top Chef All Stars without winning the title, she still wins as fan favorite, and truly someone with an amazing attitude and outlook on life. Too bad some of that didn't rub off on the two remaining male chefs.

Much love, Chef Carla, thank you again for a great season.

Quickfire de Merde

Here we are again. I didn't think we'd be here again so soon. Where you ask? Quickfire de Merde (and really, to enjoy that phrase to it's fullest, go to Google Language Translate and use the Listen button, it's so much more elegant than it deserves to be). I thought we had suffered the worst Quickfire ever with the plating but not eating Quickfire in which Richard's ashtray dish won him immunity.



That I even have to rethink the title of Worst Ever is a sad development indeed. Yet here we are. It begins innocently enough, the chefs hanging around their loft, trying to figure out what madness is in store for them. Or perhaps they were discussing the finer points of Chef Law. I think the hostess of Top Chef dropping in for a visit must be a violation because the chefs freak out.


Of course anywhere Padma shows up, a ten minute Quickfire is sure to follow. She takes them to the roof to point out their next location, Ellis Island. To get to the island they must take a ferry. This is where the nastiness begins. They must produce their QF dish from the product they find in the snack grill of the ferry. Whole Foods it ain't.



Even worse? They don't know what their time limit is. When the ferry horn blows, they start, when it blows again, they stop. Obviously it's at least 10 to 15 minutes. We're not talking Miami Vice cigarette boat here, it's a New York City ferry.


Still the chefs must scramble to make something....anything. Blaise decides that the ferry boat snack bar food can only be enhanced by a secret weapon in his knife kit. A product so powerful it will make any guest judge bow down to his superior knowledge. He has waited until the ultimate moment to unleash this weapon.....


...an MRE. Except I don't know if Richard pulled this out to use for the food contents or as a method to cook the hot dogs he yanked from the fridge. I suspect the latter. The MREs use a Flameless Ration Heater (FRH), a water-activated exothermic reaction product that emits heat and thus allowed Richard to cook his hot dogs. I guess because using the hot dog griller wouldn't have been as sexy.
Definitely not sexy was whatever Mike came up with.


Hot dog bun, cheese vomit soup. Yes there were some other pedestrian offerings, grilled cheese, nachos, orange salad, but this? Even more horrifying?


They make Dan Barber of Blue Hill Farm eat it. Just exactly who did Dan piss off??? That's not to say the segment wasn't without some entertainment value. You see there was trash talking. A LOT of trash talking.


Knocking the simplicity of someone else's dish when you yourself have produced Cheese Vomit soup is not particularly good form. Perhaps Mikey was just following his natural inclination of adhering to Douchebag Law? Not to be outdone in the douchery department, Richard finds fault with not one but two chef's dishes.


Apparently Antonia should be thrown from the ferry for daring to toast!!! Oh the inhumanity. He also tosses Carla in the Lifeboat of Shame with Antonia for good measure for slicing some oranges and making a salad.


Because don't you know that boiling a hot dog and throwing the ferry boat sink on top of it is the height of culinary genius!! Except that's not the way the guest judge saw it. Dan does put Richard in the top three but he praises Antonia's grilling technique and had the audacity to give Carla the win for her sliced oranges.


Not that it really matters. There's no money or car at stake. I mean, do you really want to win this challenge? Do you think anybody leaves Top Chef bragging about winning the Ferry Boat Snack Bar challenge?

Apparently someone really wanted to win this challenge.

So tell me Crack Monkeys, was it the worst Quickfire ever? I mean, just in this season of All Stars alone, we've had some doozys. The Make a Dish with No Utensils or Equipment QF, the Presentation Only QF or this one, Ferry Boat Snack Bar QF? Make your case in the comments section and just be glad you didn't have to taste Hot Dog Bun Cheese Vomit Soup.

Fry Baby Fry

I was dreading this episode. The Paula Deen episode. They had been teasing her appearance since the beginning of the season. She seems to inspire either total devotion or absolute avoidance. You can put me in the avoidance camp. One reason was on total display during this episode. Equating traditional Southern cooking with frying everything. Paula didn't exactly help the cause by admitting that she deep fat fries everything she can get her hands on. Mac and cheese, lasagna and butter were her shining examples of her repertoire. Just because you can totally immerse a thing in hot liquid lard does not mean you should.

At some point I would imagine Paula put out good traditional food at her restaurants. However her installation at the Food Network has somehow morphed her into a cartoon character of her former self. Would you really want to trust your stomach to someone who came up with this recipe gem, Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole? Go ahead, click the link, if you dare. Cheese, ham, banana, bacon and.....wait for it....potato chips? (Thanks to Jillian Madison of Food Network Humor) People that's just wrong in so many ways. So, for whatever reasons the producers had in their skulls, Paula was invited to judge this episode. Let's all be thankful she wasn't asked to cook.

Which brings us to the Quickfire. Create a deep fried dish. That's all. However it's only a thirty minute challenge so there's not going to be any deep fried dishes that takes hours to make, it's quick, down and dirty. Now you would think the chefs with Southern backgrounds would have a leg up for this challenge. However Carla is sinking like a rock food-wise and Tiffany is a mystery at to why she's still here, and Blaise really isn't into Southern food. That leaves Dale, Antonia and Mike. Now, for reasons unknown, chefs lose their minds for the first half of the episode.

Exhibit A:

Here is Blaise back at the penthouse, explaining an original dish he thought up, called Chicken Oyster on a Halfshell, to Mike. Mike, despite everything else he is not, is a quick study. Seeing that Blaise is not making this recipe for this particular challenge, decides that it would be a perfect dish for Mike to make. Guess the Professor shouldn't have been so free with his lessons. This development cracks me up to no end. Mike's depth of douchiness is revealed to endless, Blaise gets bitten by his own ego by forgetting that this still isn't the coronation procession of Top Chef Richard Blaise. Why Blaise didn't make that recipe to begin with is baffling but he seems to be skipping down the path Marcel blazed with his unending foams. A liquid nitrogen frozen ball of coffee, lime flavored mayo deep fried does nothing for me. Can the dude cook without the tank? Not that any of that mattered because both boys got smoked by Antonia. Too bad Antonia got smoked by Antonia.

Exhibit B:

Here's the winning dish. Notice I said dish, singular. Apparently the rules we the viewers never hear about unless there's a major violation say that the chefs should make two servings of their dish. Antonia, having reached thus far in the competition, somehow forgot this. This truly sucks for her because it was Paula's favorite dish.

Doesn't matter because Antonia can't be considered for the win on that technicality. She loses the challenge and five thousand dollars. Even worse? The winner....

...Chef Law violator, Mike McDouche.

All I can say is watch your back Mike, still a lot of sharp knives left in the competition and Karma's known to have the sharpest knife of them all.

????

Someone is really going to have to explain this one to me. How does someone (an Italian someone, who considers themselves an expert at all things Italian) fail to execute the pasta for his pasta dish? Not just not al dente but severely undercooked. How does that person not get auffed when that pasta dish is served to guest judges with exquisite Italian culinary pedigrees?
HOW????????

However this was the most delicious moment of the night, watching this giant hot bag of puffery suddenly realize that yes, that was the winning group, yes, you will be in the losing group, yes, Fabio did not win the Italian challenge and last but certainly not least, YES Antonia beat you for the win. Suck on that a while.