Saturday, June 7, 2008

All the pretty little critics...

Food critic Adam Platt of NY Magazine has got it pretty cushy. Eat food for a living and write about it in New York City. But that's not all - he's got an equally cushy gig contributing to a blog that covers Top Chef over at Grub Street, along with pals Josh Ozersky and Daniel Maurer. Generally I don't read the thousands of blogs and boards that navel gaze Top Chef. (Amuse Biatch and Dorothy Surrenders keep me satisfied.) However, the nickname that this trio of gentlemen, or "Snark Pack" has come up with for the much maligned Lisa Fernandes does have me wondering about the appearance of the pots who see fit to call the kettle "gorgon".

First up, the lovely Josh Ozersky.Yikes! Kids, this is one reason why women go lesbian. I could never respect the words of someone who looks like that!

Maybe Daniel Maurer is the Tom Cruise of this pack...Hmmm...maybe not. And what does it say when you hide your own face in a room full of mirrors? Tom Cruise he ain't! How in the world can I believe that a single word he writes is worth the paper on which it's printed??

My last remaining hope of beauty from the Snark Pack is Adam Platt. Here are Adam's brothers, Oliver and Nicholas Jr.Sadly there are no photos of Adam available. The best I could come up with was this "Critic Relocation Program" picture they had to use over at Big Think.Now, you might think "Is the way Adam Platt looks really relevant to what he does?" Perhaps not. But then again, this fine gentleman and his buddies compared Lisa Fernandez' looks to those of an ancient Greek monster without ever having had so much as a whiff of her culinary creations. So I challenge you, Adam Platt, to a face off. Step out of the shadows and reveal yourself so we can see if you're truly pretty enough to be taken seriously...

5 comments:

sarah said...

Definitely a pot calling kettle situation, but honestly - it's a reality show, so contestants' looks and personalities are as much up for discussion as their food, which by the way we all just have to take the judges' word for because it's not like we can taste it ourselves. If Lisa's personality and food were better, perhaps her looks wouldn't be such a target.

Anonymous said...

The whole Lisa debacle reminds me of children on a playground who pick on the least popular kid. They don't care if that kid is the next Einstein (or the next Daniel Boulud!), they just care that the kid is different and doesn't fit their ideal. Grow up, people.

Anonymous said...

Great tongue-in-cheek article!

aqua said...

awesome. this type of double standard has always bugged me and reminds me of the recent article in the New Yorker of Pascal Dangin, one of the leading guys in the photocorrection/manipulation industry for higher end print publications, you know airbrushing supermodels and actresses. boy was i surprised what he looked like http://newyorkercomment.blogspot.com/2008/05/describing-pascal-dangin.html

Miss XaXa said...

Shamu! This Post! Amen, Sister!

As a blogging-nista, I’ve had a number of first-rate jabs thrown my way:
“skinny lips”
“greasy hair”

Oh, the hate mail! I suppose it comes with the territory...but, this loathing of Lisa and such harsh words from the critics and chat rooms?? Unwarranted. Sure, she displays a perpetual scowl (more so when being judged), but this public ridicule does not fit the crime. Oh, and while I’m at it, Lisa is NOT overweight and I’m disappointed by the insults I've read regarding her weight.