All the pretty little critics...

Food critic Adam Platt of NY Magazine has got it pretty cushy. Eat food for a living and write about it in New York City. But that's not all - he's got an equally cushy gig contributing to a blog that covers Top Chef over at Grub Street, along with pals Josh Ozersky and Daniel Maurer. Generally I don't read the thousands of blogs and boards that navel gaze Top Chef. (Amuse Biatch and Dorothy Surrenders keep me satisfied.) However, the nickname that this trio of gentlemen, or "Snark Pack" has come up with for the much maligned Lisa Fernandes does have me wondering about the appearance of the pots who see fit to call the kettle "gorgon".

First up, the lovely Josh Ozersky.Yikes! Kids, this is one reason why women go lesbian. I could never respect the words of someone who looks like that!

Maybe Daniel Maurer is the Tom Cruise of this pack...Hmmm...maybe not. And what does it say when you hide your own face in a room full of mirrors? Tom Cruise he ain't! How in the world can I believe that a single word he writes is worth the paper on which it's printed??

My last remaining hope of beauty from the Snark Pack is Adam Platt. Here are Adam's brothers, Oliver and Nicholas Jr.Sadly there are no photos of Adam available. The best I could come up with was this "Critic Relocation Program" picture they had to use over at Big Think.Now, you might think "Is the way Adam Platt looks really relevant to what he does?" Perhaps not. But then again, this fine gentleman and his buddies compared Lisa Fernandez' looks to those of an ancient Greek monster without ever having had so much as a whiff of her culinary creations. So I challenge you, Adam Platt, to a face off. Step out of the shadows and reveal yourself so we can see if you're truly pretty enough to be taken seriously...