We begin the second act of our culinary drama with card tricks. Why? Because apparently the theme of their Dim Sum Sunday was MAGIC!!
Or maybe it was Scary Eyes and goofy costumes, I don't know, Bravo was a bit vague in their weekly show memo. Pick a card, any card, it won't matter because each of you is getting a word to construct your dish around.
What? What is that BS? Qualities of magic? I hate this challenge already. It's the agonizing retooling of Top Chef Season 4's Improv episode where the chefs had to create dishes using word phrases like Purple Depressed Bacon and Magenta Drunk Polish Sausage as their inspiration. It was tortured then and adding the "magic" touch is not going to elevate the challenge into mastery. Nonetheless we head off to Whole Foods to watch the "illusion" of shopping.
Cheat sheets? Do Top Chef Masters really need production supplied cheat sheets? Ah the Magic of Reality-like TV.
Holy Daffy Duck, that's a huge chunk of foie gras.
If you haven't already figured it out, Shamu's judging criteria trifecta consists of crab, bacon and risotto. Finally they have spent all their money and it's time and head back to the kitchen to cook.
Gratuitous time lapse night shot.
Gratuitous Top Chef Guest Appearance.
Really, I have no clue why they thought this was necessary. He's not judging, he's not eating, he's certainly not a mentor to these chefs so I guess there's some contractual obligation he's required to fulfill. Or they're just trying to hold on to their Bear demographic.
When part of your prep work involves slathering burnable things with Sterno, you might have a problem. With wand waving and packing of magical kettles (and hopefully fire extinguishers) packed away, the chefs head for the Magic Castle.
After much silliness with moving portrait eyes and magic doors the chefs finally arrive at their kitchen for the night and final prep begins.
Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our winner for the Mark "The Bird" Fidrych Award of the Culinary World. I present Ms. Anita "Speaks to Seafood" Lo.
Hurry up Anita, your diners await.
One of which is the very funny Neil Patrick Harris. If you only think of him as Doogie Howser then you're missing out on his Harold and Kumar work and the very funny Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. He seems to be one of the few child actors who successfully made the transition to adult entertainment work. (We won't hold the magic thing against him.)
Mark is up first with his Mystery Dish. I really like that he made the diners work for their surprise. Who doesn't like lovely little grab bags of food?
Tai Snapper En Papillote with a glaze of Lobster and shellfish stock, Garlic Mashed Potatoes and Leeks, Scallion Oil and Dassai Sake. Mark is a talented showman and his presentation and food of Mystery is very well received.
John is up next and immediately puts Neil to work creating the magic of horseradish and crème fraîche sorbet with liquid nitrogen. Neil, however, seems more concerned that no peas and carrots are frozen or harmed in this experiment.
John presents Salmon Tartare with Cauliflower Blini, Cucumber Salmon Roe salad with the aforementioned sorbet and Tempura Fried Lobster wrapped in Smoked Salmon. The sorbet doesn't hit it off with anyone but the diners feel he hit the "Surprise" element of the challenge. I'm not surprised that my mouth is watering at the thought of Lobster Tempura wrapped with smoked salmon.
Anita goes next and I have a feeling the plating of this dish worked more in person than it did as television because I'm not getting the vibe of the presentation. Although I do have to say it's a fascinating reinterpretation of Surf & Turf and the integration of her word, Illusion. Daikon with Kombu Caviar, Steak Tartare with Seafood broth and oysters, mussels and clams. The diners are mostly positive except for a lone daikon exception.
Back in the kitchen, lighting of the Pink Flaming Spectacle that is Douglas's presentation begins. I know he was dead set on that flame but the smell and appearance of Sterno is not all that appetizing.
Duck 4 ways, from left to right, Oyster Cerviche with Duck Broth, Empanada with Foie Gras and Figs, Duck Breast on Butternut Squash puree, and last, the Duck Confit, Duck broth, young Coconut and cilantro. Everyone gets the "spectacle" of his presentation but were not exactly impressed.
Time to face the Judges.
Have I mentioned how much I love having Gail Simmons on this show? Even if she is just singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider song? I know it's not fair to compare the two Gails (Gael) but more and more I'm getting the feeling that Gael Greene is much more vibrant on paper than the picture we're getting on Top Chef Masters. She's been very polite, gracious and refined. Which is nice if you're at a tea party but it's been my impression that they chose her to judge because she was a no holds barred sort of gal when she was a food critic in NY. Not so much here. Gail Simmons on the other hand will tell you right to your face that your eggs were rubbery and nasty. I always get the feeling that Gail
wants chefs to do their best but won't hesitate to tell them they didn't while Gael hasn't tapped into that passion and experience yet. I'm hoping she's taking notes because Gail Simmons is the one to watch, hat or no hat.
Judging runs along much the same lines as the Quickfire except that John actually completed all his dishes this time around. John and Douglas fall a bit short and Mark looks like he's giving Anita a run for the money but in the end she's the one who will move onto the next round.
That is if she can avoid being crushed in this group hug by her former competitors...
This is a Bosch painting from the 1500s. What has this got to do with cooking? Not much really except that it allows Teller to perform their version of this trick....
...while Penn attempts to pick the pocket of the what have to be the tightest pair of jeans Padma's had on in a while. Once all the balls have been revealed, we finally get to the Elimination Challenge.
These sort of challenges have confuzzled chefs in the past so the judging is always ripe with disgust. It's really very simple. Break down a classic dish into it's separate components, rework them so that when the diner combines them, they taste like the original classic. For example.
The classic Bloody Mary cocktail.
This is one judge you do not want spitting out your food. The better question is are there really rules to this challenge?
Back in the kitchen, we have another reason why some people should not be allowed to use power tools. 
Eli taping up his digital pressure cooker with blue gaffer's tape and expecting it to work is the best way to get sued by the maker of said pressure cooker. You know why?
Because having the deeply dented pressure cooker pop it's top and rain hot chicken down on you and other contestants is really not what the makers of the pressure cooker want to showcase. (Mocking the cancer victim, inability to use tools correctly or safely...only one more strike to go Diaper Boy). Meanwhile Finger Dipper Cam strikes again.
Oh Ron, not only did they catch you again but what the hell is that bright green sauce for your paella? He makes my head hurt.
Still feeling her own pain and struggling to come up with a plan is Jennifer. SNAP OUT OF IT, WOMAN, WE'VE GOT INCOMING!!
I did NOT miss Tom's little walk abouts in the kitchen. Hell I didn't even realize he hadn't been doing them until he showed up here. I've never been a big fan of this feature because I get the feeling that Tom makes up his mind about chefs and dishes that's hard to overcome once he's poked his nose into what's going on. I don't think I'm the only one who thinks that way because Jennifer immediately starts giving Chef Tom the finger.
Good Gravy I LOVE this woman. With prep finished for the day, the chefs land back at the condo just in time to power up for the Bitch and Moan Hour. They also try to explain traditional paella to Ron who supposedly has done many paellas.
It's not going too well and it's at this point that I start mentally packing Ron's knives for him even though Mike I. is just as clueless to his Eggs Florentine.
Back at the kitchen the chefs ramp up their dishes for judging. Of course right off the bat, I'm confused. They ping Mike I. for revamping his dish, not deconstructing it. Mike V. gets a lot of love for a Caesar Salad that would find much comfort in Marcel's kitchen. 
Bryan presents his Tuna Reuben and as expected, the judges think it tastes good and is presented beautifully. How this dish evokes a big thick, juicy, dripping with sauerkraut Reuben is beyond me and bless Penn Jillette for actually saying that he disagreed with Tom and Michelle, that the dish in no way reminded him of a classic Reuben. Did he eat it all? Sure, but Penn's a man who likes rules....if only so he can break them. Laurine has the unfortunate luck of the draw to pull fish and chips when Toby's back as a judge. Although it looks like Michelle is about as impressed with Toby as many of the viewers have been.
Jennifer and Ash are up next and Jennifer, despite all her stressing, hits it out of the park. When you make Padma smile more than she did in her Hardee's commercial, you know you're doing good.
Ash's Shepherd Pie is a complete disaster. But then again part of the problem is that he gets raked over the coals because he used something other than potatoes in the dish much like....Bryan using tuna for his Reuben. Ron and Eli bring on their dishes. Ron's is pretty much the melt down we all expected. Eli's dish prompts some interesting table chatter.
What the Bear Nation has been waiting to hear for six seasons finally arrives. Eli is saved by Tom's love. Ashley and Kevin make all the judges and Penn and Teller very happy with their dishes, Ashley with pot roast and Kevin with Chicken Mole. Kevin had an amazing amount of work going on with his plate which is surprising because we saw so little of him during this episode. He seems to be a very efficient and smart chef.
Robin, who has immunity, rounds out the night with New England clam chowder that impresses no one.
I don't know if Chef Bernstein travels with her cutlery but had they been within easy reach I would imagine it would not have been the small size of bull's testicles Padma would have been talking about this episode but the wee Tobsters instead. Still, even without her knives, the correct pronunciation of paella goes to my next stalking victim, Chef Bernstein. Ultimately Ron is sent to the Condo of Shame and Toby is more than happy to see Michelle out the door.
