Showing posts with label Tiffani Faison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tiffani Faison. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A Tale of Two Fish

Our chefs have battled the mighty seas and have returned victorious with their catch of stripers, blues and some porgy. Now they must formulate their thoughts on how to incorporate what they've caught with what's available at the Farmer's Market to produce the dishes they will serve 200 guests at a beach party. We've spent enough time with the chefs to realize that some people are starting to get on the nerves of other people. Jamie, Marcel, Dale. So whenever these team challenges come up, the chefs try and find a way to deal with them. To me that would seem to be cook the best food you know how to cook. Not so with everyone else. Richard seems to think that he needs to "manage" Marcel.


He does this by agreeing that his team should only do one dish thereby putting all their fish in one net. This is a tricky strategy because you've picked the least manageable chef left to attempt to manage and it's a double elimination. Richard may regret this decision.

The produce at the farmer's market looks spectacular. Plenty of fruit, vegetables and herbs to select from. Angelo is right when he says the market dictates what your dish is going to be. Let's say you've already decided you want to do a watermelon salsa to go with your fish dish but the watermelon at the market is pithy, the onions old and dried out and there's no bright green cilantro, would you still make a watermelon salsa? I would hope not, you might have to go in a completely different direction depending on what's available. So it's here where our chefs will make or break themselves.

Carla tells us she has caught two bluefish. Bluefish is not a fish I've had in a great long while but according to what was said on the show and a little research, it's a fish with a flavor than most folks are not used to or enjoy. When you eat a nice mild salmon or some tender flatfish, bluefish definitely falls into the strong, fishy category. Carla has a dish in mind but she's got to have the right produce to balance out what she wants to do. Jamie, she of the Teflon Outer Shell, caught striped bass and thinks a freshly picked cucumber is the way to go.


What? With all the rod and pole jokes you didn't think the editors would leave a genuine lesbian with cucumber shot lying on the cutting room floor did you? Forgetaboutit!!

The next day is beach party day and the chefs start breaking down their fish in their outdoor kitchens. Carla explains how tricky bluefish can be to clean. Have to get rid of that bloodline or your dish is going to be too bitter. Over at Team Manage Marcel, Richard apparently is now backtracking, saying that it was only Marcel who wanted to do one dish. Wha...? Why Mr. Blaise, I do believe there were three members of the team who agreed to that, you being one of them. Now he's stuck and seems to be taking it out on Fabio who is doing a lion's share of the prep work. It's so sad when Bromances go bad.

Time for Tom to do his Peak and Prod. He picks the low hanging fruit first with Richard, Fabio and Marcel's single dish. Now Blaise sees the error of his ways.

Ya think? Tom checks in on Mike, Tiffany and Angelo and has no issues to pick at them about. He next checks in on Dale, Carla and Tre. Tom, being a passionate fisherman, has to ask about Dale's big fish. Turns out that sucker weighed in at 37 pounds!!! That's a lot of good eating. Dale is roasting it whole and serving it with flour tortillas. Tom can't resist stepping on his big fish high by asking if he made his own tortillas and now Dale is left to stew in his own store bought tortilla sweat. Tom moves on to Tiffani, Jamie and Antonia where he tries to hint to Tiffani that her preparation of the bluefish might be a problem. Sadly she doesn't seem to pick up on it. It turns out she will be cooking her bluefish, skin on. Unlike Carla, the bloodline will remain in Tiff's dish.
The chefs finish with all their work and service begins. What an incredibly beautiful setting with the mild weather and the city sparkling in the background.

Service is calm and low key which, after the dim sum challenge, is a welcome change. No huge mistakes but what is interesting is that they split the judges up. Padma ate with the guest judge and Tom and Gail ate together. They did this before, during the Night at the Museum episode. I kinda like this because they each can find their own strengths and weaknesses with each dish instead of being influenced by some of Tom's yoyoing back and forth between his issues with seasoning.

In the stew room the chefs start to sweat out the second double elimination of the season. Padma calls in Carla's team and Angelo's team. Because of the change up by the producers of not always calling in the winning team first, the chefs left in the stew room hope against hope that this is one of those instances. It is not. Even worse, there's a trip to Amsterdam as a prize for the winner. That winner being Carla with her amazing Smoked Blue Fish Lettuce Wrap.


This is all the things the judges like to see in a dish. A fish cleaned and prepared correctly. Seasonality with the freshness of a lettuce wrap and last but not least, surprising the judges with an out of the box presentation, namely smoked fish and a bagel. She reinterpreted that simple idea, that ode to New York into a winning delicious dish. It deserved to win. It was the Ying to Tiffani's Yang of bluefish dish.

Smoked bluefish with tomato, roasted corn and zucchini ribbon salad. Even if she had cooked this fish without the skin and the bloodline, the dish is still not exactly blowing anyone else away in terms of style or conception. After seeing Carla's dish and then seeing Tiff's, you know Tiff was heading for the door. Had it not been a double elim she might have squeaked it out to cook another day because Jamie finally cooked her way out of the competition. Richard, Fabio and Marcel have the ladies to thank for saving their one fish dish wonder.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Team Lesbian Has Left the Building




Whaaaaaaaaaaaaanh. OK not so heart broken over Jamie finally losing her Teflon coating but I am sorry to see Tiff leave.

The moment she said Jamie was the weakest member of the team and that she would try and stay away from her I knew she was a goner. While they still reward good dishes but weak team play (see last week's elim with Dale and Angelo) they never really save weak team play and weak dishes. I think Tiffani is a great chef, she just didn't have a very strong game this time around. I hope she finds that perfect spot to land for her passion and talent.

Jamie, on the other hand, didn't do herself any favors with her run here on Top Chef All Stars. Constantly telling the camera you don't really care may be honest but will give your real world customers pause at eating at your restaurant. People like to see you have passion and dedication to your craft. Not aloofness. However that does mean we have a vacancy for the Villain Chef. Any suggestions on who is best suited for that role?

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Humble Pie Award

Didn't really have any candidates for Crimes in Plating this week nor did we really have anyone who thought they were the shit, at least not enough to earn themselves a sparkly necklace. But we did have an excellent candidate for the Hot Slice o' Humble Pie Award and a prominent example of the healing powers of Redemption. Back in season one, Tiff endeared herself to no one with her "Kids aren't sophisticated enough to understand my cooking" attitude. Luck rode on her shoulder that day because Immunity saved her. So coming back and facing kids again was an opportunity to put right what was so wrong last time. She admitted it and then she backed it up with the best dish in the Quickfire that appealed to kids and winning immunity in a timely fashion. Again.

Tiff Humble Pie

So this week's award goes to Tiffani Faison who proves you can change and perhaps pull in some little future foodies who will want to see what else you can cook in your restaurant besides giant chocolate snowballs.

Friday, December 10, 2010

A Love Letter

Dear Dale My Big Gay Boyfriend,

I have missed you so. Oh sure, we're friends on Facebook. But then so are thousands of others and it's so hard to share you. I've missed your dancing skills, your way with words. I try to work in the word Conch Dicker into my conversations whenever possible.


Imagine my joy when I learned you would be gracing my TeeVee world once again. Finally someone to bring joy, wit and SNARK back to Top Chef. Although I worried. Yes I did. The first episode was sadly, Dale-lite. Yet episode two brought sunshine, puppies and rainbows. My boyfriend was back.

Look at you, giggling like a school girl with giant caveman paws. What could make a man so joyful. Making "...crack for small children" so they can truly enjoy their "10 year old rave", that's what.

You are a naughty, naughty man. How could I ever deny my love for you? Especially after your Midnight Museum Tour. Can we really blame you just because you are so observant?


(ok maybe Casey can blame you)

Yes, true you were on the losing team...


...but at least you had the good sense to team up with my original Pretend Girlfriend, Tiffani. Even though she had immunity, she would not leave you hanging with a bad dish.

Tiff & Dale (snort)

So welcome back, my Big Gay Boyfriend. Thank you for making me guffaw again and for blowing away the bad memories of deadly dull chefs without an ounce of cleverness in their thick skulls. Here's hoping the caveman paws reach all the way into the finale.

Your ever lovin'
Shamu

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Top Chef All Stars - Clash of the Almost Titans

I've watched the previews, I've read the background. I am totally stoked for this Wednesday's beginning of Top Chef All Stars Season Eight. Eighteen chefs from seven past seasons clash for the title of All Star Top Chef. Are you ready for the lineup? Then RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Top Chef Kraken


Top Chef All Stars Season 1

Season One in San Francisco gave us the delicious Tiffani and Stephen, two of the Originals. The chefs that made us love this thing we call Top Chef.

Top Chef All Stars Season Two

Season Two, L.A., The Cursed Season. Marcel and Elia.

Top Chef All Stars Season Three

Season Three, Miami, one of best seasons in terms of entertainment with Tre, the Fallen, Casey, the Black Widow and my Big Gay Boyfriend, Dale.


Top Chef All Stars Season Four

Season Four, Chicago. Holy Crap, does Season Four really warrant four chefs? What, they couldn't get Lee Anne from Season One to sign up so they yanked out a box Top Chef Helper and came up with Asshat and Dale to flesh out the cast?

Top Chef All Stars Season Five

Season Five, New York. The nearly unintelligible Fabio, Carla Hootie Hoo, one of my All Time top five Top Chef contestants and Jamie, who seems to be a bit of an odd choice here.

Top Chef All Stars Season Six

Season Six, Las Vegas. This season, in my opinion, was the most competitive when it came to the food which is odd considering the chefs that are participating. Jennifer I have no problem with but really who wants to see Mike when there could be Kevin Gillespie or Brian Voltagio knocking heads with Tiff or Marcel?

Top Chef All Stars Season Seven

Season Seven, DC. Snoreapolloza as it's known in my house (Tiffany was the bright spot of that season).

That's the rundown with the regular lineup of judges of Tom, Gail and Padma. The extra special judging sauce?

Anthony Bourdain

That's right, the Bourdain. Let's hope it's not the pale Season Seven judge but the roaring Season Two and Three judge who compares bad broccolini to doll's hair.

So what can we expect from all this ego-crazed goodness? Probably some of the best challenges of all the past seven seasons to probe the known weaknesses of the chefs. Like say a Cooking for Kids challenge to see if Tiff has learned to dial in her love for children?

Tiff and kids

Perhaps the kids thing is still a sore spot for Tiff. How about something we've ALL been waiting to see, a head to head match up with Tom Colicchio.

tom competes

Could be fun especially if things start dropping on the floor. How about guest judges?

Paula Deen

Looks like Paula Deen pays a visit and she may or may not be bringing her Peanut Brittle Whole Smoked Ham Pie with her.

Peanut Brittle Smoked Ham Pie

(I think this pie sends at least one chef to the hospital, maybe two.)

Who do I expect to do well when slaying the Kraken?

bigred

Of all the contestants I think Tiffani has the most Top Chef experience. She was second only to Harold in Season One and only because she did a dual menu. She was in the short one episode cookoff between Season One and Season Two at the beginning of Season Three. She won the Top Chef Christmas Special against some of the same chefs she's cooking against now. She also cooked in the strange little Fabio reunion show. So when it comes to competing Top Chef style, I'd say only Marcel has almost as much. She's completely dialed into what the judges tend to look for and she is fiercely competitive. Add to that she's been cooking non-stop when she's not doing the Top Chef gig. Who are her biggest competitors? Jennifer, Tre, Dale L., and Marcel. I expect the competition to be fierce but will it be entertaining. I have questions. For instance, will there be any bikini shots?

TopChefNonTattooTuesday

casey's bikini

If not, why not?

Will the Four Assed Monkey make an appearance?

TopChef, the 4 assed monkey

Will this little piggy squeal all the way home?

pigmike


Does Casey still have the Kiss of the Spider Woman?

spidercasey1


Will Stephen be giving advice on being a well dressed man to just about every other male cast member on set?

well dressed man


One can only hope.

Will Padma take any hints from Gail on style and taste as it applies to dressing for work?

suckers

I take it that's a no?

Will Carla....

dramaface

...ever meet her doppelganger...

dramatic topchef-prairie-dog

...Dramatic Prairie Dog?

Does Dale T. really think this lipstick is his color?

Dale T. Lipstick

(Not photoshopped)

And finally, will someone, anyone tell me which chef for Season Three used this in their audition tape????

Who is this

(I won't tell)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Top Chef Reunion All Star Dinner

Sooo? What was that? This thing called Top Chef Reunion? It wasn't a competition. No money (none that was revealed) was awarded for charity or for chefs. They cooked. They talked. They drank. They ate. I yawned. What did they (the producers) think would happen? That each chef would dance their own personal version of the Top Chef Angry Monkey dance?

OK, Marcel danced a little. But really, it was pretty tame.

My only hope was that the wine flowed early and often.Although my girl Tiff easily beat out Carla for Best TV Face for the night and came up with a new phrase to describe Stefan as a Lesbian Opportunivore......a description that Stefan obviously adores.Oh sure, they relived some of the better moments and certainly some of the worst but was anything resolved? Nothing new was revealed regarding Clippergate. Casey and Carla seem to have no hard feelings towards each other but Casey never explained Caseygate and the harsh comments she made to a Dallas blog. So who came out looking the worst?That's right, Fabio. If this is the future of hosting Bravo TV shows, we're all screwed. It's FOOD Fabio, not foot. Still there was some delicious looking food and who had the most delicious, well thought out food?That's right, Marcel and Ilan, working together as a team and making a great dish that was still warm by the time the boys cracked that dome of salt. Nice job guys.

Will they do another Top Chef Reunion dinner? Most likely since there's still Spit Swappers Hosea and Lea, Anger Management Dale, I'm no leader Sam and Asshat Spike left to sit down and break bread together. Oh boy!