Dim Sum Sunday - 2011

With so much talk Dim Sum talk it's only right that we ramp up Dim Sum Sundays again. For those of you unfamiliar with Dim Sum Sundays, it's a little exercise in food exploration. We announce a theme here at the Kitchen and then anyone interested can make a dish that fits the theme. Once your dish is complete, you take pictures of the finished dish or the ingredients or specific methods of how your prepared your dish, post them to your blog, come back here and drop a comment in the Dim Sum Sunday post telling us your dish is ready for visual consumption and we'll all come a'running to see what you decided to make. If you don't have a blog but still want to participate, I'd be more than happy to post the photos of your efforts here at the kitchen.

Now we've had a theme suggestion for our first Dim Sum for 2011. MS over at Making Space is struggling getting her kids to eat their veggies. So she's looking for healthy, fun dishes using vegetables that kids will at least try.

We'll meet back here on January 23rd for Dim Sum Sunday - Vegetables.

Chicken Feet Good Enough to Eat

The Chicken Foot Fascination continues. Here in KC the Bo Ling group of restaurants serves Dim Sum on the weekends. It's one of my long time favorite events to either take out of town visitors or carry out to enjoy at home. So some of the dishes at the Top Chef Dim Sum challenge were very familiar to those of us here at the Kitchen. I decided it was time to reacquaint myself Chicken Feet in Black Bean Sauce.

Just like the feet of many mammals and birds, the chicken feet have lots of little bones. They are gelatinous with little meat. Bo Ling's version is spicy and fragrant with star anise and black beans. No nails on these feet.

Now after a little research on preparing chicken feet, I'm wondering if Casey was doomed from the beginning. Most of the recipes I've read call for frying and stewing at least for the black bean version but it makes sense with all that hard gelatinous material that introducing a long wet heat makes the feet much easier to eat.

The real question for me is why didn't Casey use a good pair of sharp kitchen shears to whip through all those chicken nails?

Failure to Produce

It must be pretty sweet to be nationally known celebrity judge on Top Chef. Think about Tom, Gail and Padma before Top Chef. Not really widely known outside their little spheres of influence. Now? For the most part they are celebrated and adored. With celebrity comes special treatment and attention. Assistants to make sure your tea is hot or your bottled water is cold. That your clothes are perfectly ironed and your hair is expertly styled. It's also got to be fun to work on the production crew that creates the show. You say make it happen and it happens. You say let's have a Quickfire with no utensils and and suddenly a bunch of chefs are grating cheese on a wire shelf rack and cutting a quail with a pepper mill no matter how stupid it may seem (and it was extremely stupid). But there comes a point where those folks are going to have to look in a mirror and realize they screwed up. Because let me tell you that was the most badly produced cooking challenge ever. Apparently, according to Gail Simmon's blog, it was worse than what was aired. What you didn't see was too few translators for the day of production which meant disaster when there large blocks of time without food and the on site production crew insisting hungry diners stay at their tables, failing to communicate the magic of TV and the necessity of actually having diners in the dining room. Even worse is that, without food, the diners had to watch the one special table get lots of food. The Special People. Apparently the Special People got a little uncomfortable at all the angry hungry people surrounding them who can neither eat nor leave and as angry people do world wide, started expressing their anger in loud hungry voices. Now in an interesting turnabout, the Special People seem upset that the chefs caused them embarrassment and discomfort. So much so that Chef Tom, he of the Executive Producer title, is sent down in the underground kitchen to harangue the chefs into speeding up. Here's a quote from Tom's own blog: "I simply cannot fathom the absolute lack of coordination, of planning, and of the ability to simply put out the food. When assessing the challenges, I always ask myself, “If I were down there, what would I do?” In this case, where 200 people were seated at once and the food needed to keep passing them on carts, I liken the challenge to when my cooks and I do stand-up parties with large groups. I don’t like to do passed food; I prefer the guests to have food from my restaurant. So I just do small plates with smaller versions of what the guests would have received had they been dining in the restaurant that evening. One regular dinner portion might make as many as eight smaller ones. My cooks and I put our heads down and just keep plating, plating, plating. When I showed up in the kitchen the afternoon of the dim sum challenge, however, the chefs seemed to be milling about, waiting… for something… with no plan for just pumping out plates of food. It was a disaster in the dining room, and a terrible experience for us judges." To which I say Boo Hoo Poor You because brother you are part of the reason this challenge sucked so badly especially since you insist on having that Executive Producer title next to your name. You simply can't fathom it because you still don't get this isn't a real life challenge and any expectation to treat it as such is ridiculous. It's a reality show challenge. We're not talking about your crew from your restaurant cooking the food they cook all the time. We're talking about people competing for cash and prizes. There's no one who was in that kitchen who could make anyone else move faster or plate more efficiently. How thick do you have to be to not understand this simple concept? I absolutely hate when he pulls that reasoning out of his ass. Let's face it, the production team didn't think out the challenge well enough ahead of time, they didn't scout out the location thoroughly enough especially with the logistical problems the location presented, they didn't have enough translators on hand, they totally underestimated the ability of the chefs to produce that many portions in that much time in that kitchen. They stupidly gave immunity for the challenge, they insisted on having two chefs push a freaking cart up in the dining room. That last requirement burns like no other because this is a FREAKING COOKING CHALLENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no earthly reason why any chef has to be a server in this situation (and frankly I would have like to know what would have happened if they all refused). NONE. But Tom can't let it go without one last little dig, "So this was not our chefs’ finest moment.". No Tom, it was not Top Chef's finest moment, it was actually the second worst segment in Top Chef's eight seasons. Unless you planned on disrespecting the customers and making your chefs look like idiots. If that was the plan then MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Top Chef All Stars - It's Anybody's Game

There's quite a bit of blathering chatter on Top Chef. Sometimes it's amusing, sometimes it's mystifying but most of it is attention whoremongering. Sometimes I like muting the sound and just watching the faces. It tells you oh so much. What this particular picture tells me is that when a 7th place chef (in his season) beats out two runner ups for a car and immunity, it stings a bit.

Best Ever

I want you to meet, out of eight seasons of Top Chef, two seasons of TC Masters and one season of Just Desserts, the best ever diners to appear on all three of those shows. You want to know what makes them the best ever?


They are the best ever because they care more about getting good food to eat than being featured on a TV show. Sure, fine take over the restaurant for an afternoon but only as long as you serve them good, fast, hot food. Otherwise you're going to have problems. Does this guy...

...care enough about these diners to keep....

...them from leaving? After all the ego stroking of the Quickfire you would think that Chef Tom would jump right in there, being one of the best chefs in the country, and start banging out dishes like SuperChefMan. But no, all Tom did was yell at the slow moving chefs. Which is fine if you want someone like this eternally pissed at you.

Bad move Tom, bad move.

Know Your Proteins

Looks like the good folks over at Top Chef need some flash cards to help them with their fish identification issues. There seems to be some mis-identification going on. First there's the title board for Chef Tom's Quickfire dish.


Then there's Marcel's dish using Tom's leftover fish.


So, yes, both identify Black Sea Bass as being the fish used. So here's a picture of a black sea bass.

That's a pretty distinctive looking fish, very dark in color, the tail fin is a triangular shape, not a v-shape, there's one long dorsal fin on the spine. Now check out the actual photos of Marcel cutting up the supposed black sea bass.

You play spot the differences...much more elongated head, v-shape in the tail, lighter color, the fins along the spine are much smaller. Which makes it look more like....

...a branzino or European Sea Bass. Here's a second look.

Yes, folks, that appears to be a European Sea Bass. In the grand scheme of things is this the most important mistake made in this episode? Oh hell no but what it does prove is that this blog has some very smart and very experienced readers, namely Captain Obvious who pointed this mistake out. Does the fact that you can tell the difference between these two fish make an important difference to your everyday life? Sure if you're going to the fish counter and want to make a purchase. I'm sure one costs more than the other, don't you want to buy the appropriate fish? If you order one in the restaurant, don't you want to be able to know how each fish tastes?
As for the producers of Top Chef we all know they enjoy pushing the drama aspects of the show much more than the food (unless you want to buy their cookbook, then they are all about the food to the tune of $20 - 25 depending on where you shop) but come on, you've got the Emmy now, let's not slack off completely.

To Ease Everyone's Pain

Oh Casey, it's just not fair.

Oh Come ON!

You know, for seven seasons of Top Chef, Chef Tom, either in his Bravo blog or at judge's table, always talks about how he would approach a challenge or how he would have made a successful dish. For seven seasons we obsessively anal Top Chef fans screamed for him to put his money where his mouth was. Never happened. Then Top Chef Masters happened and I thought for sure he would step up and compete. Hasn't happened yet. Then the tantalizing previews that the All Star chefs would get a chance to compete against Chef Tom. NOW that's what I'm talking about.


Well.....turns out the only thing the chefs got to compete against was Tom's cooking time. To which I call SHENANIGANS!!!!!!

It's one thing to have 10 chefs fighting over product in a refrigerator, space at a stove, or just not running into each other or camera people. It's a WHOLE nother thing to have the kitchen to yourself, the stoves or ovens to yourself and have no freaking twists like making a dish with no utensils. Questions I have: Did he know what product would be available, did he know clams would be available, did he have time to conceptualize his dish ahead of time? Who was judging his dish? Did it meet the Quickfire challenge rules?

I totally get that Tom is fast and that the whole theme of this episode was you've got to be quick but let's not forget how Tom was introduced for this little ego stroke, touted as one of the best chefs in the country. (Also note, not one of the All Stars guessed who it was, ouch!) If he's one of the best then I say, man up, put yourself against the next round of Top Chef Masters and we'll see how you do. Until then....SHENANIGANS

Well, at least she cooked...

Ladies, Gentlemen, TC Crack Monkeys, I give you The Teflon Queen
Dance Monkeys, Dance

Second Careers

If Andy Cohen ever gets tired of pimping his Whoring Real Housewives, I think he's got a good crop of dancers just waiting for Bravo's foray into the competitive dancing shows. Dancing With The Chefs.

Check out their moves.

Tiffani with her Pucker Puss Plié

Casey and Mike actually have some moves...granted the moves are from the '70s but moves none the less

I think, I can't be sure but I think this move is called Speak to the Hootie Hands

Andy better jump on this, it can easily be produced and ready for the fall schedule. C'mon now, those Housewives aren't getting any younger.

All Stars Big Bite

You know it just wouldn't be a true Top Chef All Stars experience without one of Padma's patented Big Bites.

Goodness Gravy, look at that fork clearance. What do we think, my little TC Crack Monkeys, just how many tennis balls would fit?

Match Play

It's all a bit hazy but when we last saw our chefs, they were getting ready for Team Tennis Dish Match Play. They tried very, very hard to shoehorn in a connection to the US Open by pretending that the dishes the chefs made would be something tennis players would be comfortable eating before a big match. The real reason for a challenge at the US Open?


Padma gets to wear shorts. Actually I liked the competition part of this challenge. Two teams trying to match up head to head with each other.

Team Orange includes Carla, Mike, Richard, Dale, Fabio, Antonia, and Marcel.

Team Yellow counts Tiffani, Tiffany, Angelo, Asshat, Jamie, Casey, and Tre. The teams seem well matched, both have strengths and weaknesses. However Asshat doesn't like the team he's on.

(And by allies what he really means is the seafood family of proteins.)

He should worry because if you win your head to head match up, you're not up for elimination even if your team loses. I like this a lot because it's about making the best tasting food, not about someone else on your team screwing up a sauce or overcooking something. You cook the best dish you can then you should be safe. Neither team seems to get this, instead focusing on the tennis aspect of the challenge. Carla is asked what's she doing and it sounds like she's got a strong soup dish, very much in her style of cooking. Dale sort of poo poos her soup, discounting the dish as not being upscale enough for the US Open crowd. Carla, still sporting bad advice burn scars, puts on her best "Politely Listen but Ignore" face and makes what she wants anyway. On the other team, they think they have a strategy of putting their weakest dish against the strongest dish, making the assumption that 1) Richard will have the strongest dish and 2) he will go first. Their Plan B?


They don't really have a Plan B. Doesn't stop them from shopping and cooking though and revealing way too much about themselves.


No, Antonia, that does not count. What does count in most people's minds is a second helping of gnocchi from Fabio. This doesn't bug me so much, he's making a whole wheat gnocchi which is a challenge, he's going head to head and if anything, he's going to redeem the reputation of the poor gnocchi on Top Chef. If I remember correctly Howie of Season 3 rode that pork pony quite a ways before he was auffed. Now during the three hour prep, we see Angelo get smacked with a slimy fish curve ball. Seems he didn't ask to check all the mackerel Whole Foods gave him. If he had he would have seen the fish was slimy and a bit off.


He makes a wise decision and chooses not to use them but he still has to come up with some protein. He tries sweet talking a piece of salmon out of Tre (who has immunity) but Tre's not having any of it and suggests Angelo try Tiffany and her tuna. Tiffany, who had a whole season of Angelo, wisely shares some of her protein and Angelo is off and running with a new dish. Not off and running with the dishes they planned are Asshat and Jamie. Jamie, in another episode of What I Forgot From Cooking School, fails chickpea cooking 101. Asshat does no better with his shrimp. This isn't Bocuse d'Or cooking folks, this is shrimp and chickpeas. Too late, time to hit the courts.

Both teams prepare for the first match up. Team Yellow is expecting Blaise and putting their worst dish up which at this point is Jamie and her hard luck chick peas. But surprise, it's Fabio first for the Orange Team. This completely throws the Yellow Team for a loop. They try and stick to their original strategy of sending the weakest but Jamie refuses. Yeah, it only works if everyone agrees. Instead Casey steps up to the plate (or in this case, net) and chooses to go head to head with Fabio. Head to head, with Fabio making gnocchi a second time, I would have picked Casey to win this match up. However I would have been wrong. A tennis player I've never heard of before loved the gnocchi, Padma thought Casey's dish was too heavy and Tom, never having had a good whole wheat gnocchi, is amazed that a good one can be made. The other two judges don't even get to vote since it's already 3 for Fabio, who of course is ecstatic with Italian gnocchi joy. But the joy is short lived. The Orange Team had planned to send Marcel second and he's even halfway into plating when Dale insists he go second to save his dying dumplings. For the Yellow Team, Big Red jumps into the second slot.


Two strong fish dishes but Tiff takes the point with her black bass (too bad her dish isn't in the recipe section of Bravo's website because I want to go there) and shows some excitement of her own.


Back to even. Finally Marcel gets to compete but now he's competing against Angelo, a much stronger opponent than say Tiffany or Asshat. Angelo puts up a very simple bite of sashimi tuna with a yuzu gelée and a camphor froth (what, we don't call it foam anymore??) while Marcel brings it strong with couscous, pomegranate and yellow fin tuna but finishes it with cream and butter. It's the cream that sinks Marcel's dish and gives the win to Angelo. Two points in a row, the Yellow Team looks like they have momentum. The next match-up features Tiffany vs. Antonia which is should be a very evenly matched round. Tiffany has more tuna and Antonia puts up scallop. The judging is so close, two for each chef leaving Chef Tom with the deciding vote which goes to....


Antonia. Again, back to even. Finally it's Richard's turn at the net and Team Yellow decides to put up Asshat. I'm not sure why they didn't put up Tre but there it is. Now it's at this point that Angelo and Tiffani probably taste Asshat's dish and realize that yes, that shrimp is not going to win against Blaise. Adding any possible flavor is his only hope and that hope might lie in yuzu gelée. Asshat says nothing in the moment, things are moving too quickly and suddenly he's before the judges with his shrimp and tamarind soup against Richard with his lamb and yogurt dish. The judges don't seem to find the proteins in either dish too appealing, the guest judge calling the shrimp too bland and the lamb too gamey. In the end, Richard's tabbouleh saves him and Asshat's shrimp dooms him. Team Orange is ahead and Team Yellow has to go with Tre because there's no way Jamie's undercooked chickpeas are going to beat anybody. But in a bizarre turn of events, Tre has Angelo cook his fish. Why he doesn't cook his own damn fish is a mystery. On Team Orange's side, Mike is reverting back to his piggish self, so sure Carla is going to lose that he starts talking about firing up his dish. Of course Karma is going to kick Mike in his big fat mouth. In another close match, Carla takes the final point with her spicy groundnut soup.

With her good luck orange bandage no less. Everyone on the Orange Team is safe from elimination and in a wonderful Karmic turn...


Carla wins a five day/four night trip to Italy and a big-assed bottle of wine for having the best dish. Let's just hope it's not this...

(Not photoshopped, a real wine, I'm not drinking it, you drink it)

Team Yellow is left to gripe about lost opportunities. Asshat bemoans Angelo's involvement in his dish never seeing the forest of badly cooked shrimp for the trees. Not just one round of shrimp, two. He thinks Angelo tried to sabotage him but again, you had Tiffani and Angelo, two chefs with very strong palates, each that won their round, trying to save his dish. Seeing that strategy fail, he moved to Jamie. Again I must point out that Jamie is under no obligation to throw herself under the bus, especially for Asshat. If he had just cooked his shrimp right, he'd still be in the game. Turns out that his dish wasn't even the judges least favorite, that unhappy development belonged to Tre. Asshat's luck with timely Immunity left his lucky fingers and all that's left is to walk out those double doors again.

A New Year

There is no doubt about it. I had a miserable holiday season. I usually try to drive home to Virginia to see my parents but the massive East Coast snow storm put a kibosh on those plans. Not only was I home alone, I came down with the office crud. Stuffy nose, scratchy throat, deep hacking cough. I would not be eating my mother's wonderful standing prime rib roast with Yorkshire pudding and I wouldn't even be treating myself to some fun holiday food. I could neither taste nor smell anything. I certainly lived up to my crabby nature but my two furry housemates apparently didn't notice a thing.

That's not to say there weren't bright spots. I did get some gifts courtesy of the US Postal system.

This is a hand stitched hand-towel. Kanigirl is one of my online monikers. My good friend Moi over at the blog Bite the Apple hopefully did not go blind cross stitching this. You see, when I cook, I don't use any special chef's jacket or shoes. However I do usually loop a dishtowel into a belt loop of my jeans. Usually it's some ratty old hand-towel that I can't even remember where it came from. It's like a part of me, so much so that when I'm at work, I find my hand reaching for my right hand belt loop to wipe off my wet hand at a hand-towel that isn't there. Of course, I don't want to actually use it. I mean, I get pretty messy when I cook. It's so pretty I want to frame it next to the beautiful hand stitched work done by yet another blogger. But for the purposes of this blog post, I did put it in it's rightful place.


Certainly made me smile during the cold holiday season. Thanks so much Moi for this beautiful gift. The US Postal system didn't stop there, oh no, my holiday card inspirations safely made it to the dark, basement blogging central compound.


Thanks Dani and Boxer for the beautiful ornaments that brought in some much needed sparkle into a dismal holiday season.