Top Chef Masters - Revelations

Holy cow what an episode. The food? Don't remember. I know, I know, we're all about the food. Not so keen about forced drama. What's that you say? What other kind of drama is there? Here's the thing, as one of the former Top Chefs once told me, you don't need all the crap at the living quarters or the stew room. Throw any bunch of chefs together in a kitchen and drama will happen. That chef was right, it happens everyday in restaurants all over America. It happened in the most recent serving of Top Chef Masters and it was delectable in it's revelations.

The Quickfire. Who cares. For some reason the blind taste test has morphed into The Toughest Quickfire Ever. Uh, maybe for the chefs but for us it's the most boring TV ever. Watching people taste ingredients blindfolded is about as exciting as watching someone peel a potato. Wanna really ramp up the excitement? Have them compete against each other, blindfolded, in speed rounds. Anyhoo, they all tasted the same 20 items and no one got more than seven. While I couldn't track down the whole list here's some of the easier ingredients: peanut butter, corn, ketchup, maple syrup, mango and almonds.Harold's got a point. If these Master Chefs were asked to taste the exact set of ingredients the Season One Chefs had to taste I think my girl Andrea Beaman still would have won. Thankfully it's over quickly and we move onto the elimination round. Here's where it starts to get good.Do you know what Bravo named this episode? The Masters of Disaster. The guy in the middle? I'm a Top Chef junkie and I had to go look up his name because that's how memorable he was. So the challenge was to produce a buffet lunch for 200 by trying to mold these former contestants into a highly effecient team of sous chefs. If given a choice between herding cats or cooking with these chefs, we might have seen a lot of I Can Haz Cheezburger action last night. It gets better. The Master Chefs have to "interview" their potential sous chefs. How does each do this? Three write out a list of questions to ask each chef. One does not. One starts ordering his interviewees to cut up carrots.

(C'mon, admit it, it was fun watching him bust the chops of some of these former contestants)Poor Elia looks as if she's flashing back to the Thanksgiving episode of her season.Blaise also seems to not to be able to let go of the past. And Spike?
Spike just can't let go of being an asshat.
Which is ok because none of the Master Chefs want him on their team.
Keller even goes so far to say it was cruel of Rick to stick him with Spike. Rick, what has Keller done to you to deserve Spike?

All the little teams then go off and try and plan their buffet dishes. Up until now, we've seen the Master Chefs competing like good natured, comrades in arms. But it's the last round before the finals and it's now that we really get to see what these chefs are like back in their real lives. Who handles pressure well, who trusts their sous chefs. The masks that we've been seeing start to slip from their carefully crafted TV faces. What's also fascinating is that all these former contestants think they are the experts on Top Chef stategy.

Which is odd considering there's only one Top Chef in a group made up of losing contestants. I think I'd leave the thinking to the Master Chefs. Back in the kitchen a seemly simple question almost takes us to Hell's Kitchen.

What we get instead is a young man with a lot to learn and an older man who understands that there's more at stake than putting some young punk in his place.
But you could tell it came close to Def Con 1 for Chef Michael. As for Dale, if ever there were a New Jersey Housewife Chef, Dale is the one.

Day Two rolls around and our teams are in the kitchen for their last two hours of cooking and prepping. But that would be too simple. Time for a twist. Now they must pack up everything they just started cooking and head out to serve somewhere else.

Lo is looking pretty weedy is this point. It only gets worse when they see where service takes place.No umbrellas, no shade whatsoever from a very hot sun. The effects of direct sunlight on a seafood raw bar?
The answer's not underneath that towel Anita.

But Wait, There's MORE! The Masters must cut loose one sous chef from their team.Keller, in a act of Karmic Justice, tosses the sticky Asshat. Oh yeah, loving the Keller. Service starts for the 200 seat filling free food loving diners. No other sous chef eruptions occur, at least not that we're shown.

The food. I could show you all the dishes but really it wasn't even close. Here's why, look at these pictures of Keller's dishes.

Think back to the buffets you've dined at and see if it comes close to the spread Keller put forth for this challenge? Not only did he put out great food, he got his team of sous chefs to crank out an amazing amount of dishes expertly prepared. Now the judging is interesting. The diners gave Keller only 3 1/2 stars while giving Rick 4 1/2 stars. The Master Judges however gave him a perfect score of 15 to take the win. Despite all the twists and drama, Hubert Keller seems to be peaking at just the right time.

Anita Lo, on the other hand, got twisted right out of the kitchen. Not that I think she was too sad to be leaving. I think she's happiest in her own kitchen doing her own thing. I know the next time I'm in NY, Annisa will be on my list of places to try.

Clash of the Titans

It seems our Chefs were lulled into a false sense of juicy burger security by the Quickfire. Little did they know the extent of the mighty challenge ahead. Challenge, thy name is Zooey. You see, Zooey has some food issues.

Our chefs try to concentrate on their dishes and shopping.

Finally the chefs get to the kitchen to start their prep. For as much as I thought the Quickfire was boring and uninspiring, I think this challenge is fantastic because it pushes the chefs to a level they don't often push themselves. You never know what you what might be achieved by stretching that culinary muscle.
Rick is looking fairly basic and true to his Mexican persona.

(A slap chopper? Really?)Keller also seems to be roaming around in his comfort zone.
Anita seems a light on substance which is not good considering her 1 1/2 star Quickfire score.Michael seems to be rocking after having found some suitable pasta at Whole Foods although some folks might grumble at his using boxed pasta. I think it's nitpicking, you don't see anyone making their own cheese do you?Art is the one pushed to the edge of his limits and he makes a fatal choice to go with the Rice Ice Cream. I'm sure you were groaning at your tv. Now I have a bit of a conundrum which is how did he make that brittle? The recipe on Bravo's site says there's butter in the brittle but the judges specifically praise Art for making the brittle without butter. There are vegan peanut brittle recipes out there I'm just surprised Art pulled it off considering the choice of ice cream he made.Keller is uncharacteristically scurrying around the kitchen, hard pressed for time but gets some lucky karma in the form of some good natured help from Michael, along with a good natured imitation of Monsieur Keller. This is a good thing for Michael because......when his table full of food starts to prematurely fold, who has Michael's back? That's right, L'ange de Hubert. Karma baby, believe it.However it's pre-planning and experience that saves Hubert from not one but two overturned shooter glasses.Both Keller and Bayless get good comments from the diners but it's Chiarello's pasta that satisfies the challenging crowd. Anita and Art's dishes leave much to be veganily desired. Despite her Quickfire score Anita holds on to cook another day as Art packs his knives to go back to Chicago.We will certainly miss his gregarious spirit.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better...

Now that our Master Chefs have broken bread together, it's back to work. Except they've really been working all along. In true Top Chef form, the Elimination Challenge is to take one of your competitor's dishes and put your spin on it.This is a tricky thing not so much on the part of Top Chef but with regards of the camaraderie you just established with your fellow chefs. Unless it was edited out, I don't remember seeing anyone spitting out any dish (apparently that move is only reserved for the judges on regular Top Chef) or expressing any criticisms at all. But that's not to say they didn't have any or thought to themselves perhaps they could do it better. Add to that not only is someone trying to improve your dish, YOU have to watch them messing with you masterpiece.It's a fascinating twist also for the fact as to the question of did the chefs really do their best signature dish? I only point this out because this isn't even the finale, it's just the first round. Wouldn't you save your best for the final challenge? Round and round we go.

After shopping we're back in the kitchen where Art seems to be trying his hand at some return smack talking directed at Hubert and that there fancy French cookin'.Art also reveals while he's been cooking quite a while he's only worked in a restaurant for a year and a half which is amazing when you look at his competition.
The breakdown of who is doing what goes like this.
Hubert, who was the two-fer on the winning team of the Mise En Place relay race gets to pick the dish he wants to reinvent. He chooses Anita's Scallop dish. This also means she gets to re-make his Lobster and Truffle dish. French vs. French Asian. Art and Suzanne will be trading Seared Grouper and Chopped Sirloin with Egg and Rick and Michael will be delving into Fennel Balsamic Quail and Rack of lamb with chiles and figs.

Michael wraps his lamb with his caul fat or, as he calls it, Sicilian pantyhose. Good luck finding this ingredient in the online recipe version of this dish.Suzanne is still struggling with her texturally challenging fish while Art is...well...

I'm not sure what Art is doing.

Let's Eat!
SURPRISE! Your former competition will now be judging your dishes. (Thank you TeeVee Gods for bringing me another slice of The Ludo, my new favorite French Cheese) Will they be kind or hypercritical? Let's see.
Art's Lamb Scotch Egg with sweet potato fried and tomato tart. I'm glad he followed the tried and true rule of Baconizing his dish but this is not appealing to me at all.
Elizabeth Falkner and her extra spikey Judging hair wonders how the dish might have turned out if Art had tried using a soft boiled egg instead of a hard boiled egg. Not too much positive feedback.
Rick's Quail with Parsnip and proscuitto stuffing over wild greens is presented next.Hey Ricky, he likes it! Actually everyone seems pleasantly surprised that Rick stepped out of his Mexican box.
Suzanne's Roasted Great White Whale of Grouper with gnochi, peas, bacon, and parsnips.
Falkner cuts a sister no slack as she brings her A Game Judging standards and points out the overcooked fish and cold gnochi.We can dig it James.
Hubert's Seared scallop with cream of sea urchin over fingerling mashed potatoes. The only knock on his dish is that it seems that there's not enough sea urchin flavor in the sauce. But there is bacon so it's got that going for it.Michael's Rack of lamb stuffed with fig mostrada chick peas and fried rosemary. While it looks really simple it's much more layed and complex than it appears but the diners aren't convinced it's the best it could be.
Anita's very interesting corn chawanmushi, champagne gelee and lobster biscuit sandwich. All the diners seem to enjoy the dish. Which is good because her take on Hubert's dish makes her this week's winner.
This week's loser I'm sure you can tell by her reaction...Whoops! Sorry...
...there we go. I know I'm sad she's leaving because after some of the antics we've seen on Top Chef, this calm soul was a welcome breath of fresh air.