Thursday, April 3, 2008

Please Die Now


Epicurious had an interesting little bitlet back in December about the Worst Food Trends of 2007. Of the six they mentioned I could really only relate to the macho fast food trend of eating a whole day's calories in one food item. The remaining five trends are more suited to those folks who don't spend their days blogging in a wet dark basement. It did get me pondering on what annoying trends I wish would die a quick death. Here they are in no particular order.

Sourcing each ingredient on the menu. I have a organic restaurant that I enjoy going to but their menu is wiping out forests with their overly long menu descriptions that source each and every ingredient. I love that the bacon, eggs and salmon are all fresh, organic, wild caught, cage free, and local but dang, people there's no need to list each ingredients company on every menu description.

Waiters that are overly attentive to the customer. There must be some dumbass survey that found if a waiter tells you his name is Brad, touches your shoulder, kneels down beside you, and basically acts as if he's your new bff, that you will tip your new bff much more than if he hadn't done all those things in the first place. It might even work if BRAD had spent a little time LISTENING to what you had ordered and actually brought you the nice crisp Corona Shrimp Taco you asked for instead of the nasty and slimy plain shrimp taco that frankly should be purged from the menu. Yes, BRAD, if you had paid a little more attention to detail and a little less attention to that article you must have read, you just might have found a phat tip waiting for you on my table when I left instead of me wishing I had smacked your hand when you touched me and wondering just where that hand had been...

Restaurants that charge more because that's what restaurants in other cities charge. I live in Kansas City. I expect to be charged an arm and a leg for seafood entrees. Charging me an arm and a leg for a steak, pork or chicken entree is just greedy. The same goes for the $6.00 baked potato or the $9.50 chunk of iceburg lettuce with some blue cheese crumbles masquerading as "our classic wedge salad". Give it a rest.

One of Java Junkie's peeves is with restaurants that are legends in their own minds. There is a steak house in her neck of the woods that, at least at one point in time, must have been amazing. The basis for her conclusion is a wall covered in framed "best of" awards as one enters. There is also a plaque over the host stand telling you how great this place is...And one over the bar. She was even reminded on the menu that the steak she was about to order was "award winning". Sadly, she feels that they are resting on their laurels, and no longer provide the quality of service or food that originally garnered all of those kudos. If you're going to raise the customer's expectations to such lofty heights, you'd better be able to deliver...

And of course, the Junkie hates the Any-every-allitini trend. Just because you pour a mixture of rum, chocolate syrup, coffee liquer and orange curacao into a martini glass does not mean you have made an "Orange Mochatini". You have made dessert in a martini glass. The martini is a pure and exquisite thing of beauty to the Junkie, and it does not deserve to be bastardized. She says stop it. Seriously.

Well, that's our rant. Unless BRAD wants to coerce us into trying a "Trumptini" with a famous wedge salad...

2 comments:

Jon said...

Great post Shamu, really enjoyed it.

Emma said...

I agree with the Junkie. The frou-frou faux-tini trend should die now.