Hard to believe but Spike Mendelsohn was the night's challenger of Battle Prosciutto against Micheal Symon. And that, my little Top Chef Crack Monkeys, is when Iron Chef America became dead to me. They've had some kick ass challenger's in the past (José Andrés, Traci Des Jardins, Homaro Cantu, not to mention a whole raft of chefs who either guest judge on Top Chef or compete on Top Chef Masters) but this has to be a new low point. He wasn't even a finalist in his season of Top Chef Chicago. So why Iron Chef America? Can an Asshat change? Would he become the Frozen Scallop Comeback King? Has time taught him to leave his Asshatery ways behind?
Survey Says............
NO! All he's learned how to do is to add pieces of Flair to his asshat. (Note to Spike, you've still a ways to go to get to your 15 pieces...). Still maybe Asshat would surprise us with his food? Maybe a prosciutto soup?
Maraschino cherry prosciutto soup? Or maybe something with truffles?
Chef Symon loves the idea of fresh truffles....
...but Asshat's use of the canned truffles leaves Iron Chef Symon a bit incredulous.Despite an hour worth of time and two sous chefs, Asshat's main focus seems to be a play on this classic ham preparation.
Yeah, I'm not impressed either. "Sweet on Sweet" is how one judge described it leaving me to believe that Asshat is still pretty much all ass and not much else going on with his palate or imagination. He didn't even attempt a dessert. I won't go into details because all you need to know is that Chef Symon SMOKED Spike right out of Kitchen Stadium.
Sadder still was that score came from 3 unknown, first timer judges. As a casual observer of Iron Chef America I know that scoring is usually close, a spread of maybe two or three points. At the most maybe 5. But TEN? The only thing that would have made this moment even more warm and fuzzy (and watchable) for me was if Jeffrey Steingarten had been judging. If anyone could put an Asshat in his place, it would be Jeffrey. But maybe it's all right, maybe the Food Network is where Spike belongs...perhaps helping Paula Deen massage two pounds of butter into every crack and crevice of every dish she makes...or maybe assisting Sandra Lee with her tablescapes. While the title Top Chef or Iron Chef may never grace Spike's culinary resume, he will always be able to fly his Asshat flag proudly where ever he goes. Just let it be on a channel not in my cable package.
Yeah, I'm not impressed either. "Sweet on Sweet" is how one judge described it leaving me to believe that Asshat is still pretty much all ass and not much else going on with his palate or imagination. He didn't even attempt a dessert. I won't go into details because all you need to know is that Chef Symon SMOKED Spike right out of Kitchen Stadium.
Sadder still was that score came from 3 unknown, first timer judges. As a casual observer of Iron Chef America I know that scoring is usually close, a spread of maybe two or three points. At the most maybe 5. But TEN? The only thing that would have made this moment even more warm and fuzzy (and watchable) for me was if Jeffrey Steingarten had been judging. If anyone could put an Asshat in his place, it would be Jeffrey. But maybe it's all right, maybe the Food Network is where Spike belongs...perhaps helping Paula Deen massage two pounds of butter into every crack and crevice of every dish she makes...or maybe assisting Sandra Lee with her tablescapes. While the title Top Chef or Iron Chef may never grace Spike's culinary resume, he will always be able to fly his Asshat flag proudly where ever he goes. Just let it be on a channel not in my cable package.
