Against the Herd

We're having a pretty quiet weekend here in Kansas City.  Action Jackson is enjoying a bit of sunshine on the deck while hooked up to his long line.  As you can see, there's no snow.  Not on Jackson, not on  my parsley plant in the background, not on the deck.  This is not to say there wasn't snow expected.

This is a screen snag from a local weatherman's blog for yesterday.  Funny, when you read it today, it seems fairly calm and reasonable.  However yesterday was a storm of a different color.  I was working at Small Spare Job Number Two yesterday.  We had the tv on and you would have thought we were about to experience a major snow-i-cane.  Weather advisory crawlers with loud beeping alerts would appear at the top of the screen every 15 minutes, brightly lit in DANGER RED.  Counties were listed that were in the danger zone.  Dire warnings, cats sleeping dogs kinda stuff.  So at this level you're thinking...at least....6 - 8 inches expected....right? With strong blowing winds, ice and freezing conditions. No.  1 to 3.  This really makes me sad.  I'm an east coast girl.  The only people who panic at 1 - 3 inches of snow are the federal workers in DC.  I thought midwesterners were heartier than that.  Maybe they used to be.  Or maybe they are being conditioned to panic.  Across the street from the office of Spare Job Number Two is a grocery store.  It just so happened that I needed some things and popped over  to shop.  No sooner was I in the store two minutes when the speaker system was announcing snow storm specials.  Really?  Was there a connection?  Were the local weather folks playing up a minor storm to shepherd the public herd to spend their dollars stocking up on milk, toilet paper, windshield wiper fluid and snow shovels?

I, by my nature, am a cynical, suspicious person.  But can you blame me?

I grew up in the suburbs of Washington DC.  The Washington Post was our hometown newspaper.  Turns out Nixon was a crook, in a hella big way.

Reagan wasn't much better.

Bill got his cigar caught in Monica's honey jar.

Even in Kansas City things might not always appear to be what they seem.  Ever hear of video news releases?  It was a practice going back at least to the first administration of Clinton of federal agencies producing video segments that look like something your local news station might produce.  It might be a report on childhood obesity. It might be about Medicare.  It would be supplied to news agencies however it was hardly ever revealed that the government was the source of the video. Under the George W. Bush administrations it was a widespread practice to put a more positive spin and help push their agendas.  Smaller market news agencies, in an effort to be more profitable,were already cutting back on staff and reporters, it only made economic sense to fill their many news hours with ready made policy pieces.  Of course it was kinda ethically disgusting but what the hey, they've got shareholders to think about.  So would it be so outrageous to believe a relationship exists between a local tv station and a local chain of grocery stores?

Yes it does appear that it at least exists in the website filler category but at least you know who's pimping who.  Which brings me back to the snow storm they went on and on about yesterday.  We, the Kansas City area, did not get snow.  We did not get ice.  As far as I can tell, we didn't get a damn drop of moisture.  However I am guessing that local grocery stores saw a generous bump in sales. 

America, Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, and sometimes the Herd of the Easily Spooked.

Urban Adventures in Foraging

I have been enjoying the company of Action Jackson, Dog of Adventure at work for the past couple of weeks.  He's made himself quite at home.



This is a good thing.  It means we get to walk around our work neighborhood on our mid-morning and afternoon constitutionals.  We are always on the lookout for urban wildlife and luckily we've found the normal squirrels and birds and not the dreaded giant city rats.  But it was after just such an encounter with some raucous birds that led us to a more wonderful discovery - FREE FOOD!

As Jackson and I walked along this row of trees behind our building,  we were besieged by a variety of angry birds bursting from the trees.  Mouthy starlings,  chubby doves, hopping robins all chattering that we were messing with important bird business.  It wasn't until that we got up closer to this big tree that I understood what we had interrupted.

A bountiful bird buffet.  Berries.  But what kind?  I can usually identify bush or shrub fruit but tree berries are a bit out of my league.  We took a leaf as a example to help in our identification and toddled back to google image search tree berries.  Soon the answer presented itself - Mulberries.  And while it might look like a berry it's actually defined as a collective fruit but better yet, it's edible to humans.  I love finding free fruit.  Now all I have to do is pick them.

This seems like a straightforward procedure but what I discovered is that  picking mulberries is not as easy as it looks.  First there's their size.  Roughly the same shape and makeup as a blackberry but smaller with a sturdy stem to the tree.  That stem is a bit of an issue.  You see while some of the outer lobes of the fruit might be bursting with juicy ripeness, the stem might have other ideas.  So if you overly exert pressure on the fruit to dislodge the stem from the branch, you will either bruise the fruit by holding on too tightly or drop the fruit by not holding on tight enough.  Hence the white sheet and branch shaking method that brought a rain of mulberries down to earth.  All to a chorus of still angry birds, denied their spectacular mulberry dropping paint used with great efficiency to decorate nearby vehicular canvases.  Finally I felt I had gathered enough to make something.

Not to mention tattooing my hands with a deep purple stain in the process.  But what to make?  I was clueless.  I don't think I had enough for a pie, maybe just enough for a crumble or crisp.  I decided instead to give them away.  To offer them up to a local chef.  Not just any local chef but the man that put duck tongue tacos on his menu, Michael Smith.  

He and his wife Nancy have two restaurants in the Crossroads area of downtown Kansas City, his namesake, Michael Smith and Extra Virgin.  I love Extra Virgin for it's generous half prices tapas hours and it's outdoor seating area.  Hot, sweaty and fruit stained I offered up my fresh and incredibly local fruit to Chef Smith.  He didn't hesitate, suggesting that mulberry jam could be in the works.  He asked what price for the fruit and I said I didn't really want money, I wanted to see what he would do with the fruit.  He invited me to lunch but I was a mess and still had Jackson and at the moment wanted nothing more than to go home to shower.  I took a rain check on lunch.

What a lunch it was.  How about tuna cerviche tacos with taro root shells?  Yes please.

Poblano mac and cheese?  Heaven.  A tower of Chickpea fries. Smoky grilled broccollini and burrata?  My still stained hands happily sampled it all.

But the best (thank you waiter for suggesting it) was the braised pork cheeks with fava beans and lentils.  Crispy, savory pork goodness.  Well worth the couple of hours of angry birds and sticky digits.  What did Chef Smith end up making with the mulberries?  The lucky folks at an event at the Nelson Atkins Museum enjoyed the freshest possible mulberry sauce on duck and helped raise money for a good cause courtesy of Michael Smith and an urban fruit tree.

Baba au Whiskey Cake and The Rieger Hotel and Grill and Exchange

Just a little sampling of a dessert I've never had before, normally called a Baba au Rum Cake.  This version was  with whiskey and served at a wonderful little restaurant called the Rieger Hotel and Grill and Exchange.  This was after scarfing down one of the best Reubens' I've had in a very long time.  It may have been the corned beef tongue or it just may have been that they understand what makes a great Reuben, careful grilling and the right proportion of meat to bread and other ingredients.  As for this adult dessert?  While it was wonderful, it wasn't exactly my thing.  That's not to say it wasn't done well, it was.  Just didn't connect with my inner dessert freak.  However if you enjoy whiskey soaked cake with whipped cream and creme anglaise, come on down.  The Rieger would love to satisfy your culinary needs.  And the bonus?  The cookbook library in the back.  It's a good thing.

Check Please Kansas City, with a Top Chef Twist

2011 was the year I turned 50. No big deal, no big events but it did cause a wee session of "Life in Review" introspection. What I found was a woman fairly comfortable in her ample skin, a bit of a recluse, happy to be puttering in the kitchen and the digital darkroom. Still there was room for personal envelope pushing. Not exactly a bucket list mind you but more traveling down some avenues that might lead to whole new adventures. This is what I was thinking as I filled out the digital application for the Kansas City version of Check Please!

Check Please is a public television program that originated in Chicago in 2001. Ordinary folks visit three restaurants and then "chat" about their experiences in studio. Currently only four other cities host a version of Check Please and a fifth, Seattle, will start their version this year. Back in early 2011 I filled out the application and then promptly sent the link to my two of my most reliable dining buddies, hoping they would fill it out and we could all be on the show together, making the experience much like what we do already, eat, gossip and talk about fracking. However, my two buddies have much more detailed and busier lives than I do and the application link was soon lost in over-burdened piles of electronic noise. Months passed and no response was ever received to my submittal, leading me to believe that I had been rejected. That was until September when I received an email that I had indeed been selected and here's your three restaurants to visit. It was another Put Up or Shut Up moment. But really, was it that hard? Go eat food and then go talk about it on camera? For most people, probably not. For the lifelong behind the scenes, never in the limelight person, yeah, it was hard. But I did it anyway.

I have to admit, it was kinda surreal. I did snap a couple of photos before we started the in studio segment.

This is my place at the table. The one thing that bugs me about this show is the empty plates. I know it's set dressing but damn it if you're going to set the table, you better be putting some food on those plates. So I brought my own food. That's a photo of one of the appetizers from one of the restaurants we reviewed. Overall it was a fun experience and I'm glad I didn't punk out. You can watch the episode here. But because it's food and tv and me, it couldn't be without a whiff of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. You see back when we were filming I happen to mention that one of the restaurants was for sale on Craig's List and said how bizarre to try and sell a restaurant that way. (News that R-Bar is up for sale on Craig's List.) Apparently that triggered a whole landslide of "what the hell do we do now?" from the producers. The way the show is set up, more than likely what happens is the producers send out a general letter to many restaurants saying that they are considering reviewing your restaurant, is that ok with you? For the most part, restaurants like publicity enough that they will take the chance that they won't get a bad review. I know this because I asked while we were waiting for the studio segment if any restaurants had refused to participate and only a couple had during the history of the Kansas City version. Once the restaurants respond, the reviewers are sent out anonymously to eat at their three assigned restaurants. They send in their reviews and wait to see if they will be chosen to review on camera. Once the studio segment is done, camera crews are sent out to the restaurants to do the "hero" segments. Nice shots of pretty people in the restaurant, closeups of the food and owners talking about their business. So when it came to the restaurant up for sale I'm guessing they weren't too interested in allowing cameras in to shoot food for a concept that might be revamped if sold. As it was they were barely operating at the time and only open 3 nights a week and running on a severely limited menu. So the producers scrambled to save the segment. But in a bizarre twist, they brought in three totally new reviewers and...

...had them go to the restaurant, order drinks and food and then filmed the review segment in the actual restaurant. The focus of this last piece was liquor because this particular joint, at that moment, was trying to promote itself as a bar first and gastro pub second. I say at that moment because in yet another twist they announced in February that they've hired a new chef, thought about opening an additional night a week and teased that they might, just might serve lunch. Now I think this particular restaurant came out smelling like a rose in the whole Check Please deal because folks, the food when I went there was absolutely horrid. I didn't use the word horrid in my on camera review but I was honest when it came to the food. I thought the decor was beautiful, the thought the service was good but I thought it was way overpriced for the quality and quantity of food I ate. Or tried to eat. I don't remember specifically how the other two reviewers rated their food so I won't put words into their mouths but I don't think it was as glowing as the subsequent three new reviewers. I have to say that makes me sad for a couple of reasons. One of the reasons I wanted to do this was because it seemed an honest representation of ordinary people reviewing their experience in a restaurant. No one told me what to say or what not to say. Just be myself. I've seen previous reviewers who had strong opinions about whether food is good or bad or overpriced so it's not always a total valentine for the restaurants. Who I feel really bad for is Jadh, the young woman who chose this restaurant as her favorite and had her segment totally removed from the show. She got punked which is sad because she was really good on camera.

So there you have it. Mostly good, some bad and I got a great t-shirt out of it.

Be Prepared

I have been known to keep a treat or two in my pockets for my four legged friends that I might run into while going about my daily business. However I was caught completely off guard when leaving my downtown KC workplace the other day.

This would be O'Sullivan and Blaise. I believe that's Officer Mike Mast with O'Sullivan but I didn't get the name of the officer on Blaise. I'll make up for it next time they come walking up the street by having an apple or carrot or two ready for sharing with our hard working police horses.


Are there doughnuts for horses.....?

Day Job

You know, as much as I would love to cook and shoot food all day, it's only a hobby. My skills as a photographer usually involve construction sites. Sometimes beautiful, sometimes just a pile a dirt. Every once in a while you get to see something grand rise up out of a mere pile of dirt. This weekend the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts will open to the public. This iconic building is steps away from where I work and let me tell you folks, it's a beautiful thing.



Of course I'm torn between wanting a backstage, crawl around the flyspace and loading rails tour or checking out the kitchen space. I've already been inside for a general tour and as a performance space it's absolutely gorgeous. I know many folks are lucky enough to have opening night tickets but in my soul, my fingers itch to working behind the wings. That would be fun. Of course it would also bring back the nightmares of arriving at the theater late and only having minutes to set up my prop table. Yes, I know, total techie geek.

Enjoy the gift Kansas City, it's better than barbecue.

Top Chef The Tour

Quick - Can you name the chef who was eliminated during the 9th episode of Top Chef Season 4? How about the chef who went as far as Episode 12 without an Elimination win in Season 6? Names not rolling off your tongue? Then the Top Chef The Tour is just the thing for you.

The announcement at Bravo's website sounds pretty sweet huh? Prizes, food, meeting chefs in person? Meet the Kansas City Tour stop.

OK so 10:30 AM on an overcast Friday in downtown Kansas City is not the most rocking place. Still enough folks interested in Top Chef showed up to fill up the 64 seats for the first show of 4 "dining experiences". What kinds of Top Chef interactions did they get to experience?

There was the Guess the Ingredient station.

Top Chef Putt Putt Golf, only one hole. Why putt putt golf? No idea what so ever.

Photos with Tom and Padma. Sadly no bears in sight to pose with Tom. There were also plenty of TVs set up with googly eyed NY Housewives bursting forth with their mindless chattering. At any moment I expect them to throw poop at the people watching them. Hint to the Tour Folks, Housewife promos and food don't really mix unless you want to have a Top Chef Vomitorium Station set up back behind the tour bus.

And who were the chefs everyone was here to see?

That would be Eli Kirshtien of Season 6 and Nikki Cascone of Season 4. Now if you notice in the Bravo TV announcement they trumpet the fact that you're going to get a chance to eat the chef's food. If you come expecting to taste Nikki's Purple Depressed Bacon dish or Eli's Fried Egg Reuben Benedict, you're out of luck. If you really want to try the chef's food, go to their restaurants (Nikki - 24 Prince Eli - Solo). That's where Nikki is actually serving the version of Purple Depressed Bacon/Pork Loin with Sweet Potatoes, Grape Sauce, Jus and Brussel Sprouts. Today Nikki and Eli demonstrated how to make your own sausage. Now you know me, if I can link you to the relevant recipe it's in the post. Claims that the recipes they made were on Bravo's recipe website are crap. Honestly, it's just as well, writing accurate and concise recipes is not really Bravo's forté. Basically Eli demoed a pork meatball with sauerkraut, a mustard sauce and some chopped apples.

How was it? Heavy on the garlic and really simplistic flavor-wise. Stranger still was the fact that one of the sponsors for the KC Stop was Scimeca's Sausages, a local company that's been making great sausage since 1935. Nice touch to tell the gathered fans to screw the store bought sausage and make your own. But did I get to really eat the chef's food or did I eat a Bravo assistant producer supplied recipe that local chefs hired for the day actually make behind the curtain? Cue up Over the Rainbow please. Shout out to the Culinary Center of Kansas City chefs for their hard work cooking for the day.

Of course it wasn't just about the food. It was about the gossip. It's the behind the scenes chatter of Top Chef that folks want to hear about. Or at least what's contractually allowable (yes, the tour handler made a point of mentioning that little disclaimer). Did I learn anything new? Not really except that the one constant question tour chefs get is How long do you wait in the Stew Room. Answer: Usually 6 to 7 hours if you're lucky. Yes they get drunk and yes they abuse Glad Products stored there. Now when I heard who the tour stop chefs were going to be, I inwardly groaned. Eli was not exactly my fav during the season but I went with an open mind knowing that the pressure of this kind of show exerts on people will make them act out in bizarre ways. What Eli seems to be trying to reform is not so much his image but the people who receive his image. "Get to know me" is Eli's current theme with an undercurrent of his being right all along about Robin being the worst chef and unworthy of being in the Top Chef Fraternity. At some point you hope that Eli will stop trying to convince the world that Robin is horrible and work on being a bit more mature.

Nikki, on the other hand, seems like someone who would be a pleasure to sit down and chat with. Most likely because when she was asked who her favorite guest judge was she responded with Tony Bourdain, not to mention knowing enough to hit the best bbq while in KC, Oklahoma Joe's. When asked what was the most surprising aspect of the show going from viewer to contestant? The pressure. Most of the contestants deal with crushing pressure as it is working in a restaurant but the pressure of your own expectations of your own performance multiplied by the pressure of a time clock and judges table? No wonder these people have nightmares.

So if you're a Top Chef Crack Monkey by all means, hit the tour when it comes to your town. Buy some t-shirts or cook books, play putt putt golf. But if you really want to taste a chef's food and support your Top Chef favorites, seek out their restaurants and put some coin in their pockets. That's the best way you can really get to know a chef.

No invite required, y'all!

As a rule, when you see a cloud of blue smoke hanging thickly over Kansas City it means that the tailgating faithful have gathered for a Chiefs home game. However since it's a beautiful Saturday in October, it can only mean one thing.You can smell the aroma before you even park your car. There's a whole lot of meat cooking low and slow.The American Royal Barbecue is the largest barbecue contest in the US. Over 500 teams compete in several categories. Friday night is the beginning of the cooking and the party. Because of Health Department regulations, teams cannot sell their offerings to the general public. Instead they hold "private parties" and give tickets to friends, family and sponsors. If you're a meatatarian, you learn very quickly to make friends with one of the bigger teams. And may I just say these people are very dedicated to their "sport"...and also very clever.You know it's a big contest when they keep their supplies in a semi and use a pallet truck to move them.That's because there's some huge grills out there that need charcoal.Don't forget the meat!
And where does all of this hard work end up?Why, in a styrofoam clamshell, of course - so that......the folks hidden behind the curtains can eat and judge your food. If you do well in all four categories of meat (Brisket, Pork Ribs, Pork and Chicken) you can be eligible for the Grand Champion Prize of a Trophy, a Kingfisher Kooker and $12,500 and an automatic invitation to the contest for the next five years. Of course that's only for the KC Masterpiece Invitational, to which only Grand Champions are invited. There's also an open contest with a lot more contestants. It all adds up to a whole lot of meat.

Not into ribs or brisket?These two Canadian women DROVE all the way from British Columbia just for this event. They had already eaten their way through their meat options and were having dessert - a little something called an Elephant Ear. And trust me, the picture does do the size of this thing justice. It's a huge piece of deep fat fried dough smothered with cherry topping. They let me have a nibble and it was quite tasty. I think I'd need more than one other person to help me eat it though. I tip my hat to these ladies; they are truly in the Padma Laksmi class of eaters.

Some of the best food I had for the day had nothing to do with barbecue at all, but was by one of the food demo chefs. Meet Virginia Willis.She is seen here demonstrating a very yummy black eyed pea salad. Virginia is based in Atlanta, and is officially the second person I know who actually keeps chickens within city limits. She is, however, the first I know to name her chickens after female country singers. You can guess who the deep breasted chicken is named for.

Now it's important to pay attention at these food demos because you never know when your attention to detail will pay off in, oh say... a free cookbook!Virginia kindly signs my prize. You can expect a Karmic Kitchen review of her cookbook "Bon Appetit, Y'all" in the coming weeks, but in the meantime visit her website for a selection of recipes from her cookbook. This woman makes a mean Steak Salad, y'all!

If you are serious about your barbecue skills or would just like watch masters at work then make plans to spend the first weekend of next October in Kansas City and visit the American Royal Barbecue. You won't be disappointed.
Gratuitous photo of beautiful horse with better hair than most women I know.