Monday, July 7, 2008

The Meat of the Matter


Long summer holiday weekends. Can there be anything as sweet? The kids are off from school. They currently enjoy that particularly obnoxious freedom that keeps them oblivious to any care in the world except making sure that the hose doesn't lie in the sun and deny their overheated noggins that brain freezing jet of cool water. Actually turning the hose off once they're done is your problem, not theirs. You finally get some relief from the work problems that constantly spin like dust devils in the back of your head. The biggest decision that you need to make besides not letting the always overly toasted Uncle Ray get into the stash of fireworks nestled in your SUV? Outdoor cooking. Flame or smoke? Grill or bbq? Low and slow or hot and quick? Beef or Pork?

These are important decisions. This is the heritage you pass down to your children. Oh sure, they'll scream for the "Beer Can Chicken", something some philistine yahoo down the street did to impress the neighborhood kids. Chicken? Chicken is for wimps. No, you want to teach your children the old ways of meat, not some recycling effort to pollute your protein with some shiny aluminum beer can.



I ask you, is this dignified? Is this really what you want to teach your children? I thought not. You want to teach them that you can control the fire so it doesn't burn the hair off your forearms. That smoke is your friend. That huge slabs of meat are a thing of beauty.

Why eat chicken when you can convince your gullible offspring that Fred Flintstone dropped off some dino-ribs and that you're allowing them to bring any well gnawed bones to Show & Tell on Monday. (Pictures of Toasty Uncle Ray in his Geico Caveman outfit are optional and may result in yet another Parent/Teacher Conference).

Tools are important.


The old school patio brick barbecue pit is fun, that is if your homeowners association will allow it. There are alternatives.

A sure fire hit with all the NASCAR-lovin' men in your life but with gas climbing over the $4.00 a gallon threshold and racing towards $5.00 maybe not the most economical choice.

This smoker is just bursting at the seams with meat and who doesn't love that? (Sorry Vegans) Plenty of space for a wide variety of protein.

Still feeling under-accessorized?


Yes, I want. Not as much as.....


...THIS! I understand it works on cocktail weenies just as efficiently.
Now some of you may want to take your grilling/bbq duties a bit further and go for...


...the Grillslinger. I don't know, seems a little Martha Stewerty to me especially with the monogram. Let's see if adding a famous chef will help?

Nope, not even Tony can help.

Looking for some inspiration? Why not try Bobby Flay's Grilled Prime Rib Steaks with Bourbon-BBQ Baste or Barbecued Baby Back Ribs With Firecracker Dipping Sauce by former White House chef Walter Scheib.

Enjoy the summer weather and like my favorite Hillshire Farm ad says, "GO MEAT".


WHOOOO!

3 comments:

eggplant said...

Great post, Shamu.

A fine accompaniment to my first ear of local sweet corn today. Mmmm.

The Big Shamu said...

Thanks, will have to do a future ode to veggies. So far the corn has been very sweet in my neck of the woods, how about yours?

eggplant said...

Sweet indeed. And an ode to summer veggies would be lovely.